Restrictions of realism

When we allow ourselves to articulate our thoughts and feelings without limitations, we are more apt to stumble upon concepts that enable us to add new richness to our lives. 

Innovation can only happen when we introduce experimentation as a guiding theory in our lives. Because we do not limit our modes of expression, we can utilize our imaginative minds in our day-to-day existence, and thereby approach challenges playfully.

Unbound by convention or the restrictions of realism, we also can conceive of wild and fantastic solutions to the problems we face. These uncultivated notions become the rough foundations of the refined and workable ideas that we develop more fully in those circumstances that require us to be practical. Your free-spirited and innovative approach to both work and play will help you grow into your creativity today.

Source: The Daily Om

I'm going to try to make a long story as short as possible!

After going through a process of experimentation in fixing the water pump ourselves without success, we bit the bullet and arranged for professional help to pinpoint the problem and get an estimate of how much it would cost.

First of all, let me give you a great piece of advice . . . do not buy a house that runs on well water pump system with no chance of hooking up to the city water system!

Through many years, problems have come up with the water pump and they have been relatively inexpensive and a quick fix.  Not this time!

The only time not having water was a real inconvenience was the year one of the hurricanes came too close for comfort, however, the damage in this area was mainly electrical outage for at least a week.  No electricity to run the water pump, so . . . no running water.  It was after JR died and before The Captain came into my life.  I was totally alone and made it through with much innovation.  You don't understand the importance of something as not having water until it is gone!

The shock of what it was going to take to get the water running again took my breath away momentarily . . . I kind of freaked out a bit and retreated from society a couple of days.  Not only did the professional fix involve taking down fences, big trees, reconfiguring raised beds and I can't remember what else, just so their truck could get to the pump.  It was WAY too expensive and way too much work for not even having a guarantee that was going to fix the problem.

If that didn't work, we would need a totally new well drilled . . . 

The Captain asked the professional a lot of questions and set out to do some online research . . . perhaps he could do the work himself and save thousands of dollars?  His research showed so many others who encountered the same problem and they wrote about how they did their own fix.  Thank God for innovative people who do not want others to think they can't do it themselves.  

My sweetie says he will get it working again . . . and I have an abundance of faith and trust in him. 

Needless to say, it has been days of major decision making of how to fix the problem and also of great importance was how to live without running water for who knows how long.  

I could take the dog and escape to my mom's house for a mini-vacation while The Captain slaves away at fixing the well and living without running water . . . but I can't leave him to face the problem alone.  So, we are on a new adventure of creative survival.

Let me tell you . . . realism does not necessarily mean impossible and enough obstacles to not make it happen.  It has to work . . . and that is taking a great deal of innovation and creativity as we enter Day # I don't remember.

We have tackled each problem as it comes up one at a time.  So far, so good! Another one of those experiences that make great stories we can laugh at after all is fixed and working again.

Keep us in your prayers!

read more

Cultivating trust

Trust is something that is earned through our actions. Cultivating a sense of duty both to ourselves and to others not only allows us to act in a way that garners the respect of the people we come into contact with, but it also makes it easier for us to accomplish the things we wish. 

By being someone who can be trusted, we demonstrate that we are accountable for our own actions. Once others trust us, they will be much more receptive to our thoughts and ideas, which will help us move ahead in our professional lives. By being someone who is trusted, you will foster greater confidence in you among others today. 

Source: Daily Om

I've noticed our society in general lacks an

 attitude of being accountable for personal

and professional actions.

While working in the corporate world, I realized that no one is perfect and should not pretend to be.  What we can strive for is to do the best job that we can do, own up to mistakes made and move on.  It would amaze others when I would bring a mistake up instead of trying to cover it up before it was discovered.  That is too much trouble and reminds me of having a monkey on your back that you can't shake off.

When I briefly worked for a company who constantly promised deliveries they knew they could not deliver, I am the one who had to deal with the unpleasantness of giving the customer the bad news.  

No matter how I tried to convince management to be realistic with the customer and actually deliver before the promised date, they just didn't get it.  I could not work there . . . management's attitude toward their customers really bothered me.

They were cultivating distrust with their customers and probably the main reason they didn't last long in the marketplace.  Consumers do not appreciate being lied to . . . that is what it realistically comes down to.  They will not reward you with loyalty and continued business!

What is wrong with dealing with personal and professional situations honestly?  As far as I'm concerned, it is the best policy.

It is what it is . . . one of my favorite sayings.

read more

Faith and challenging times

Coping with bad times, whether it be challenges in the workplace, a personal relationship or financial difficulties requires faith to get through it. Faith in God, faith in yourself, faith in other people . . . it is so important to keep your head straight in order to make rational decisions.
Some decisions take greater leaps of faith than others.
We only have one life . . . live it with faith and optimism that what will be, will be . . . que sera sera. No matter what your spiritual belief is, there is a higher power in control. My belief is that everything in life happens for a reason.
The following poem, Footprints in the Sand, is one of my favorite sagas when reaching deep within myself for the strength and faith needed in times of uncertainty.

One night I dreamed I was walking along
the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed that
during the low periods of my life, when I was
suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,

"You promised me Lord,

that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during the most
trying periods of my life there have only been
one set of footprints in the sand.

"Why, when I needed you most,

you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,

"The times when you have

seen only one set of footprints,

is when I carried you."

Mary Stevenson

Love this one . . . it is for the one who
has put footprints on my heart!

"Be the kind of person you would like to be with.
Some people come into our lives,
make footprints on our hearts and we are never the same.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges."

- Joseph F. Newton

read more

The Gift of Faith

Since trust is a vital component in the formation of relationships, putting your faith in others is necessary when connecting with people on a personal or professional level. It’s easy to justify defensiveness when we look out into the world and see only potential enemies. However, mistrust can drive a wedge between you and others before you even have a chance to bond, thus making bonding impossible. When you approach people openly, assuming that they, like you, have good intentions, intimacy and respect are nourished by your trust. You will discover that others live up to your expectations by treating the faith you have in them as the gift that it is. When you trust that others will not try to deceive you today, you will begin to relate to people in a more productive way.

Source: The Daily Om

read more

Life Changes

We’re always moving into new experiences, new possibilities. This constant change unsettles the personality, which finds security in stability. But with life always in flux, that security is an illusion. We experience pain by trying to hold on to things that are not solid.

Life becomes joyful when we can open to the constant flow and ride freely with it. This requires us to let go of the need to control. We need to learn to trust.

"Can it then be that what we call the ‘self’ is fluid and elastic? It evolves, strikes a different balance with every new breath."

-- Wayne Muller

It doesn't matter where you are in life, changes of all kinds are continuously evolving. There are times when you have to go back to a place a time to really appreciate present life challenges and realize that things aren't as bad as they seem.

The following post written over a year ago found me at my lowest point ever, struggling in every area of my life, standing at the crossroads of life, not knowing where I was going or which path to take . . . all I knew is that I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, realizing life would be wonderful again.

It has been a challenging time for me professionally even though I am working at the place that is perfect for me at this time of my life. Nothing is perfect in life all the time . . . no matter what, there will be struggles and challenges to face.

Isn't that the nature of the beast?

The thing to do is know when it is time to recharge the batteries, be grateful for life lessons, look back at other times challenges were faced and know that they were conquered by taking life one step at a time.

Today I am charging my batteries, not feeling well and decided to take the day off to heal. After reading the following post, my batteries have been recharged and I'm ready to face my present day challenges knowing that I can do anything I set my mind to do.

Life is beautiful and I am very grateful for all the gifts that God has blessed me with since my life has drastically changed since the day I wrote the following post.


This post was originally written
12/12/08

Today has found me feeling that unsettled emotion that scares me so badly.

eBay suspended me because of low seller ratings from buyers for two things that they agreed to when they bought items from me . . . high shipping and handling fees and long shipping times . . . both are no secret . . . I'm an honest seller! I clearly disclose those facts. Now my eBay account is locked up until my "seller ratings improve" . . . I can't even edit anything in my store or stop an item from relisting since I have automatic relisting until the item sells on everything.

Through the years eBay has made it increasingly difficult to make money online . . . it was once an awesome way to make money . . . good money. I hate changes and feelings of insecurity.

eBay has been my only means of steady survival . . . something I could fall back on while I am on my job search. All this means is that I'm gonna have to jump at the first job that comes my way instead of finding something that is suited for me. I hate looking for a job while I have a job . . . to me, that is not being loyal. Hopefully I will get some short term work to hold me over until I find what I really want.

Damn eBay . . . I hate them! But . . . haven't I been holding on to something that has not been solid for a while?  I had no idea the economy was gonna go through so many swift changes . . . nobody did!

As the dominoes fall all around the world, I'm not the only one holding on to shaky ground. It seems like the "world society" is bracing for the wildest financial ride of our lives. Very scary . . .

I've done all I can do from my computer as far as the job search goes. Several agencies have contacted me for interviews . . . so . . . I will probably be heading out for my mom's house tomorrow since everything is on her side of town.

Now that I think she understands to stop nagging me because it makes me very depressed to have so much negative energy coming my way, we can have another pleasant visit and I can be on the right side of town where all the awesome jobs are. I don't know what's happened to my part of town lately . . . even the big stores moved out.

I'll spend the balance of the evening packing up my stuff and prepare for another adventure. The ironic part of writing about changes tonight is how I am changing. It seems as though the changes are coming faster, I'm adapting to picking up and leaving the house for days and weeks at a time. There was a time getting in the car to drive to the grocery store was a major problem and someone had to go with me when I did leave.

On some days, finding those little things to be grateful for are difficult to find. It would seem that finding those things today could possibly be impossible, but they are not.

One thing about going through rough times and feeling like you have hit bottom . . . when you pick yourself up and see how far you've come, there is not much in the world that you can be more grateful for . . . other than healthy life itself.

Tonight I am looking back at those times when JR first died . . . I had times of not getting in a vehicle and going anywhere for months . . . years at a time. There was no reason for me to leave . . . JR did all the running around and he was so happy to have me home waiting on him. When he died, I was dysfunctional in so many ways and had to overcome many battles. Tonight I am grateful for those battles.

As I face an ever-increasing financial crisis, I am a stronger person who can almost laugh in the face of fear and struggles . . . I've been at the very bottom and I know I will never be there again. It is just a matter of going through the motions, doing what I've gotta do, keep making those incremental changes in my life.

The first step is finding that job that will make me financially secure, content with my life and find that job satisfaction that totally fulfilled me in the past. OK, so I'll be happy just making enough money to get me by until I find that perfect job for me.

And I do see the light at the end of the tunnel :-)

read more

Fear of moving on

Either you decide to stay in the shallow end

of the pool or you go out in the ocean.

Christopher Reeve

If you listen to your fears, you will die
never knowing what a great person
you might have been

Robert H. Schuller

It is close to a year since I originally wrote this post,

although it seems like a lifetime ago.

My life has come full circle and I am finally where I truly want to be.

The moral of my life experience is to NEVER give up on your dreams, aspirations and desires . . . when you least expect it, destiny will call you and everything that was foggy will be as clear as a bright sunny day.

ORIGINALLY POSTED APRIL 2009

What would you do if you weren't at all afraid?

For someone who has way too many fears, I often ask myself that question. Most of my life I've been fearless in pursuit of what strikes my fancy, however, in past years my fearless nature has been tamed to the extreme.


There seems to be an inordinate need to be "safe" . . . staying in my comfort zone prevents me from living a truly satisfying life as I once experienced with such a zest for life.


Perhaps this is all a result of the grief process . . . the extreme life changes . . . and hopefully my "normal" zest for life will return. Fear of failure has gripped my heart and soul where I once followed every dream after making the plan, I now analyze everything to death before making any significant move . . . fearful of the outcome rather than approaching the situation in my usual carefree but cautious manner.


Moments of attaining my ying/yang life balance are coming back with regularity, but leave me with that "fear of failing mentality" with as much regularity. Time heals all wounds and I see this as one of the most important areas of my life to gain control over.


The fear is like a security blanket that I have found difficult to let go of . . . why? It doesn't really keep me safe and keeps me from moving on with my life. Did I just hit on the answer? Is it a fear of moving on and letting go of life as it was? Still feeling the guilt of moving on?


Fate and destiny brings people into our lives at different times for various reasons. Someone from my past has come back into my life who I have always loved, respected, have an extreme comfort with, passion for and would trust with my life. TRUST AND LOVE . . . isn't that what my major relationship problems have been in recent past?

Why am I still not ready?

My thoughts of moving on are becoming more realistic. There is no doubt in my mind why he is back in my life . . . to cross that huge bridge in my path with me . . . it scares me.


There are times when people drift out of my life and at the time I wonder why, yet always find the answer with the passage of time. The reasons are always for my benefit whether I consciously agree or not. One door closes and another opens . . . the biggest obstacle is walking through that door. Perhaps there is a reason why . . .

Is there anything you would change about your life?

Has fear kept you from doing something you want to do?

read more

Frequency of abundance

When one feels love and trust that surrounds them one moves
into a frequency of abundance where the knowing that all
their basic needs and more are met. One knows they shall have
whatever they wish for in this life and one truly creates that.




~He's UnBelievable (Radio Version) - Sarah Connor~


Few things in life are perfect . . . and neither are romantic relationships. But even in turbulent times, love enriches my life in so many other ways than not. It is that abundance that really matters . . . it drives me to many positive places.

There is a trust that envelops me when the presence of love is felt . . . a very powerful, all consuming presence that is dynamic and arrogant which sometimes relinquishes my control and wants to take me over . . . "it" surrounds me, leaving me with a peaceful, safe aura where nothing can hurt me.

His voice has the most dynamic rhythmic force I've ever heard . . . like a beautiful song that I want to hear over and over again. The voice that can calm a violent storm or add fuel to a raging fire . . . a contradiction of everything good and evil.

He is the lover I have waited for all these years, the one who has always been there in spirit all this time and will be the lover who consumes my body, soul and spirit . . . a mirror I can look into and see myself . . . never to leave again . . . with a frequency of abundance.

read more

The gift of love and adoration

~ The One Thing | INXS ~


Making every day special is important. Being unpredictable is a good thing and expressing affection in different ways is what kept the love alive in my long and happy marriage that tragically ended way too suddenly and took a beautiful life from this earth. Of course every day was not perfect, but my memories are beautiful, loving and happy because we had an amorous and adoring give and take that so blessed my life.


You may find yourself feeling a strong sense of adoration for that special person in your life. This amorous feeling probably brings on the urge of wanting to express your affection as often as possible.

Even though we may not be able to be together every moment of every day, we can find creative ways to express our feelings of love and adoration. Finding ways to surprise those we love and put a smile on their faces can be an awesome experience.

The best gifts are those that represent those awesome emotions . . . they show that we are cared for and that the thoughts we have shared have been heard and understood. It can be as simple as a look of understanding or a squeeze of the hand. When we take the time and thought to give these kinds of gifts, we express our appreciation for all that this person has shared with us. The acknowledgment of those we love is one of the greatest gifts we can give. Another wonderful gift is the gift of ourselves.

When we love, trust and adore another, the reward is the sharing of our beauty within . . . a gift that doesn't cost a thing, but means so much. Give that special person you love the gift of yourself today . . .

read more

Fear and insecurity

	"LET me not pray to be sheltered from dangers but to be fearless in facing them." Rabindranath Tagore "When we love, we are courageous; and courage has nothing to do with being fearless,  it's about being willing to  experience fear, even dread,  to do what we must, without guarantee of outcome." Vanna Bonta

We seek to control our lives when we do not trust, when we do not love. Our ego, perceiving itself to be vulnerable and insecure, uses control in an effort to protect itself. At the root of our need to control, we find FEAR. It may be fear of the unknown. Fear of not coping. Fear of loss. Or possibly even fear of looking stupid. And as our efforts to control other people and events invariably fail, our fear increases. Trust, on the other hand, is a quality of the soul. While control is a tool of the mind, trust and faith are aspects of the heart. Trust comes with the deep knowing that we are spiritual beings in physical bodies. When we trust enough in life to give up our need to control, we can relax and open to the flow of energy in our lives. This brings peace of mind. 

Source - www.higherawareness.com

Fear can be paralyzing, making those things we truly desire to do become impossible.  The phobias born from fear can be defeated in the mind, where the desire can be courageous enough to battle those fears.

Anyone can do anything they set their mind to do.

 

read more

The strength of love

The more you are motivated by love,
the more fearless and free your actions will be.

Dalai Lama


My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry;
to get my work done and try to love somebody
and have the courage to accept the love in return.

Maya Angelou

It doesn't have to be romantic love, although in my opinion, that is the strongest of all love. All forms of love are capable of providing us strength, courage, and self-confidence.

Love makes me fearless in many ways, fearful in other ways . . . somewhere in the middle is the beautiful emotion of feeling safe in his arms. That initial feeling of safety begins to tear those emotional walls down and melts my heart, making me emotionally stronger as a person.

While the rational mind will bring assurance that physically, love does not make us stronger, the euphoric feeling of romantic love turns on the confidence that with this person feeling the same emotions, we have become one strong and fearless entity.

As trust in the other person builds, that feeling of safety, strength and fearlessness can make us do things we previously thought was impossible and anything is possible. In the movie Titanic, Jack was the "king of the world" . . . of course he wasn't, but love made him feel like he was.

Nothing is more important to me than to make that person proud of my accomplishments, proud of who I am as a person who continually strives to be the best person I can be and proud I am the person he fell in love with.

Anything is possible with any person who is willing and able to do these things for themselves, however, love provides the strength and motivation to see it through. Self-love and self-esteem can also see it through . . . but that's another post . . . strengths we learn as children, finding our way in the world, trusting our parents or another authority figure we look up to as role models.

Many people find it difficult to pull together that strength and courage because of old wounds that are still healing, with trust being something that is earned and not felt merely because of love.

The fearless euphoria of romantic love can be awesome and beautiful . . . we just need the courage to accept the love in return when we find it.

read more

Understanding trust

You may have a greater sense of loyalty to your loved ones today. Even though you might have experienced betrayal in the past, being able to trust those you care about could deepen your devotion and increase your commitment to support them in their endeavors. Perhaps today you can better understand your ability to feel dedicated to others by considering what you bring to a relationship that produces trust. You might try thinking back to a time when someone entrusted you with personal information and reflect upon what you did in that situation. If they were able to count on you, you may ask yourself what it is that makes you trustworthy. Recognizing how others rely on you could make it easier to give your loved ones your full moral support.

Understanding our ability to trust and be trusted helps us remain committed to others. Trusting people is one of the most difficult challenges in life since there is always the fear of getting hurt. Giving to others without trusting ourselves first means that we aren’t offering them our full attention, since we might be providing support for deeper reasons of which we may not be conscious. Knowing how we trust and what we need in a relationship, however, lets us completely commit ourselves to it since by being honest with ourselves we can open ourselves fully to others. As you more deeply understand your ways of trusting today, you will be able to provide unconditional love and support to your loved ones.

Source: Daily OM

read more

Changing consciousness

Why should we care about raising our consciousness? 

When we set an intention to change and grow, we begin a journey in which we move from coping, to learning and finally, to the enjoyment of living.

Here are some of the shifts we move through:

From dependence on the clock, to charting a direction, to moment-to-moment guidance from intuition.

From doing things right, to doing the right things, to being your true self.

From lack of self discipline to having personal willpower to serving divine will.

From being out of control, to being in control, to trusting and letting go of the need to control.

With each step, we experience greater freedom, fulfillment and joy. Worth going for, don’t you think?

“Every human has four endowments - self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom . . . The power to choose, to respond, to change.” 

Stephen R. Covey

Source: Higher Awareness

Change is never easy, whether it is good or bad, whether we are self-motivated to become the best person we can be . . . for any reason.

Having faith and trust in yourself through the changes helps with any life transition is the greatest way I have found to cope with change.

Although becoming a widow after a long and happy marriage was the most devastating event of my life, the lessons I have since learned about life in general . . . and myself . . . are proving to be invaluable lessons for the rest of my life.

The ultimate freedom in life is being able to roll with the changes and use whatever the situation is for greater good in the future. Life lessons can bring awesome change for the better if we only have faith and trust within ourselves to make good things happen.

Everything happens for a reason!

read more

Emotional distance

It doesn’t matter how far apart we are;
what matters is how close we stay

There is distance that is measured in miles,
then there is emotional distance

I’ve experienced closeness from across the world that was stronger than that which was in my face . . . I’ve also experienced the loss of that closeness that turns into emotional distance. With a long distance relationship, emotional distance is the one thing that will surely kill the romance . . . especially when it is unexplained, a mystery.

Through my blogs I have heard from many women who have enjoyed online long distance relationships . . . most read like horror stories, but on the other hand, I’ve heard beautiful love stores that remind me of my favorite romantic fairy tales.

Some would say that distrust and paranoid thinking creates the emotional distance some of us experience. However, isn’t it intuition that drives that same distrust and paranoia?

Although childhood experiences have often made me doubt my sense of intuition, surprisingly, my intuition is usually correct. Perhaps those experiences as a child gave me a greater sense of intuition that grew out of paranoia.

Distrust is a strong word, however, in an online long distance relationship isn’t it smart to be safe than sorry? Can you truly believe anyone you really don’t know and have never met?

In my experiences as a single woman, I’ve always had a certain level of “distrust” for anyone new that I meet. In this world of lies and deceit, it is a good practice to be conservatively skeptical until your intuition is reassured that all is on the level.

Even after your intuition is reassured, it takes two to make a relationship work, whether it is long distance or living together. Emotional distance is not measured by miles, but by nurturing those romantic feelings of closeness and mutual respect for each other.

How does your relationship measure up in emotional distance?

Can true love survive in a long distance relationship?

read more

Trust

Trust . . . a firm belief or confidence in the honesty and reliability of another person . . . the thing that bonds couples together to help create a healthy relationship between two committed people.

In my opinion, there is nothing like that critical bond between two people . . . the warm and fuzzy feeling of safety in a loving, committed relationship to combine the balance of peace, love and happiness.

Trust is also key in our non-romantic relationships . . . the best friend who is the confidant, holding all the deep and dark secrets, always there when a shoulder is needed to cry on.

However, I think it is safe to say that most of us have experienced the intense emotional pain and agony of having trust broken.

In my life I’ve trusted way too many people who didn’t deserve that trust . . . now I struggle with the issue of trust. Loving someone doesn’t naturally bring trust for me . . . it must be earned.

When it comes to trust, my intuition is on high alert which is the opposite of what it once was before I experienced that awful feeling of trust broken. Maybe it depends on the degree of the betrayal, how many times trust was broken and the confidence we had in the person that determines how we are able to trust again . . . it could depend on the person and the chemistry between the two people.

There are two people in my life that have had my complete trust . . . my mom and my husband.

How about you?

Who do you trust the most in your life?

Do you have a problem with trust?

read more