The psychology of life is all a mind game and illusions of believing in yourself and having a positive attitude.
This is an older post I am transferring from another blog that was written around a year ago. It was a time of finally understanding who I am as a person . . . and the release of warped thinking, replaced with a positive attitude at a time when everything in my life was falling apart at the seams after struggling a very long time with so many issues after JR died. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
A year later, all the pieces of the puzzle are starting to fit into place.
There is no sweet freedom like peace of mind . . .
Originally posted April 15, 2009
In past couple of years I've taken time to ask myself the questions about life, happiness, desires and write about it. In going back and studying what I wrote, the feelings and emotions vs. what was going on in my life . . . how I felt was directly affected by my perception of whatever the situation was.
At different times, the same situation affected me a different way making the difference between peace and torment.
Unrealistic expectations set yourself up to fail.
This message in this song and in what I have learned through my writing and pondering life in general . . . we all hold the key to our life. Attitude is half the battle . . . believing in yourself and thinking positively makes things happen. Or gives the illusion of things happening, if only in your mind, which is the trigger to usually make things happen.
There is a saying in one of the books I am reading "Something More" . . . "some women wait for something to change, nothing changes, so they change themselves" . . . in other words, don't sit around waiting for things to get better or for something to happen that you want to happen . . . MAKE IT HAPPEN . . . believe in yourself because you hold the key . . . keep the expectations realistic . . . no one else can do it for you.
"Reachin' out to meet the changes
Touchin' every shining star
The light of tomorrow is right where we are"
We create our own magic as we create our own hell. Of course we are driven by circumstance, but it is what we do with them that make the difference in our lives.
Michael McDonald is one of my favorite singers, one of the most soothing voices ever . . . I've seen him in concert several times at different stages of his career. Sweet Freedom has always been one of my favorite of his songs. As I was listening to my playlist of his music, the words of this song grabbed a hold of me . . . like someone grabbed me by the hair and sat me down for a serious talk.
It is believing in yourself, knowing that you possess what you need to do whatever you want to do as long as you believe you can.
No more running down the wrong road for me . . . the wrong road is negative thinking.
If you listen to your fears, you will die never knowing what a great person you might have been
Robert H. Schuller
It is close to a year since I originally wrote this post,
although it seems like a lifetime ago.
My life has come full circle and I am finally where I truly want to be.
The moral of my life experience is to NEVER give up on your dreams, aspirations and desires . . . when you least expect it, destiny will call you and everything that was foggy will be as clear as a bright sunny day.
ORIGINALLY POSTED APRIL 2009
What would you do if you weren't at all afraid?
For someone who has way too many fears, I often ask myself that question. Most of my life I've been fearless in pursuit of what strikes my fancy, however, in past years my fearless nature has been tamed to the extreme.
There seems to be an inordinate need to be "safe" . . . staying in my comfort zone prevents me from living a truly satisfying life as I once experienced with such a zest for life.
Perhaps this is all a result of the grief process . . . the extreme life changes . . . and hopefully my "normal" zest for life will return. Fear of failure has gripped my heart and soul where I once followed every dream after making the plan, I now analyze everything to death before making any significant move . . . fearful of the outcome rather than approaching the situation in my usual carefree but cautious manner.
Moments of attaining my ying/yang life balance are coming back with regularity, but leave me with that "fear of failing mentality" with as much regularity. Time heals all wounds and I see this as one of the most important areas of my life to gain control over.
The fear is like a security blanket that I have found difficult to let go of . . . why? It doesn't really keep me safe and keeps me from moving on with my life. Did I just hit on the answer? Is it a fear of moving on and letting go of life as it was? Still feeling the guilt of moving on?
Fate and destiny brings people into our lives at different times for various reasons. Someone from my past has come back into my life who I have always loved, respected, have an extreme comfort with, passion for and would trust with my life. TRUST AND LOVE . . . isn't that what my major relationship problems have been in recent past?
Why am I still not ready?
My thoughts of moving on are becoming more realistic. There is no doubt in my mind why he is back in my life . . . to cross that huge bridge in my path with me . . . it scares me.
There are times when people drift out of my life and at the time I wonder why, yet always find the answer with the passage of time. The reasons are always for my benefit whether I consciously agree or not. One door closes and another opens . . . the biggest obstacle is walking through that door. Perhaps there is a reason why . . .
Is there anything you would change about your life?
Has fear kept you from doing something you want to do?
Everything you need you already have.
You are complete right now,
you are a whole, total person,
not an apprentice person on the way to someplace else.
Wayne Dyer
Close your eyes and imagine that everything you have and everything you are is enough. You don’t need to be better or different -- you’re great just as you are. Can you experience the peace and contentment that owning that perspective brings?
Moving into such total acceptance does not mean that we stop growing. When we can accept who we are now, we open the doors to our own inspiration to do and be even more!
We all have different perceptions of being a complete person. For some, it is achieving the independence of being self-sufficient, while others do not feel "complete" without a life partner.
In my opinion, self-acceptance (what I call being "true to yourself") is the only path to achieving true contentment. Relying on another person for that contentment with yourself defeats the purpose. How can you be truly happy and content with that special person in your life without being happy with yourself first?
My journey toward finding my life partner has taken me down the rocky road where demands for changing who I am as a person became totally unacceptable, making me more determined to be who I am. Just like relying on another person to achieving "completeness" is going down the wrong path, so I changing your "authentic" self.
My philosophy has become "my authentic self will make the right person crazy good" . . . it just takes time to find the right person with the right chemistry and what was meant to be.
Trying to fit a square peg in a round hole never works . . . making the futile attempt just ends in constant frustration for everyone involved.
LONDON (AFP) - A Welsh couple who met on a dating website turned out to be neighbours who had lived only a few houses apart for 17 years, a report said Wednesday.
Teacher Julie McIlroy began emailing electrician Allan Donnelly after seeing his picture on a dating website, an increasingly common way of meeting people with the rapid rise of broadband Internet access.
It was only after several weeks of online contact that the 46-year-old phoned him -- and realized they lived seven houses apart on the same street in Cardiff.
"While we were chatting I said I'd just been to the shop. He said that was the shop he always went to," she told the South Wales Echo. "When he told me he lived in (the same street), I thought it was a wind-up."
"I was stunned... He asked me over for a cup of tea, and that was that," she said, while Donnelly, 53, added: "We've got the perfect compatibility. I'm a very lucky man."
Once upon a time, affairs involved physical intimacy . . . but in a world of 24/7 access to the internet comes the emotional affair . . . an affair that is strictly emotional, an innocent escape and doesn't hurt anyone. Or does it?
I can relate to how it hurts the single woman since I've been there . . . the emotional affair, the long distance relationship . . . whatever you want to call the romantic entanglements I have found myself in online . . . most don't have the opportunity to "go anywhere". The emotional affair/relationship that is strictly an escape . . . if you can perceive it as "an escape."
In my case of finding love online with someone on the other side of midnight was very painful, just like an offline relationship you have in real life, maybe even more painful since I was in a self-imposed prison. They were emotional affairs that prevented me from pursuing other interests as I made myself believe that it could work out and we had a real chance at a future together. Many couples do make long distance relationships work . . . but you have to be realistic. Those relationships should have been treated strictly as escapes and that is it.
In the early days of my exploring the outside world through cyberspace, I would keep my profile "on", making it possible for anyone to do a search and find that I was available to chat online. That was a practice that didn't last long. Most of the knocks on the door were from local married men, bored at work, wanting to find a local woman to chat with and ultimately have a "real" affair with. And the most bizarre were the couples seeking a third party since they were probably sexually bored. I live in Florida . . . you would not believe the number of couples who were lining up a "girl toy" for their Florida vacation. No. thank you . . . .
Back to the single person having an emotional affair . . . a person who is already in a romantic relationship having an emotional affair enjoys the best of both worlds . . . the "single" person gets cheated. Why? They are probably emotionally invested in the relationship and probably don't have the time, energy or interest in seeking out a healthy and whole relationship of their own.
While the comfort and amazing feelings of genuine love from an emotional affair may last for years, that emotional connection will probably lead to the lack of real and lasting love resulting in unhappiness and wasted time.
