The allure of material things

Sometime in the human experience we are all seduced by the allure of material things. Back in the day the love of money and the stuff I could buy had such a grip on me that I forgot how to live in pursuit of making more money. Even spending the money as fast as I could in order to gather even more objects could not fill the emptiness of not enjoying the gift of life.


There is nothing wrong with owning prized possessions that are a reflection of our emotions and memories. What is wrong is the intention of that desire to possess that stuff when it becomes a compulsion, creating an imbalance of trying to fill empty emotional spaces with those things.


On my path to peace, love and happiness, I have learned to find joy in the little things in life that truly bring a smile to my face and are filling those empty emotional spaces. All that stuff that cost money now clutter my house and little by little I’m clearing those spaces. In my case, the imbalance of my compulsion was filling the wrong spaces.

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Bad Days

We all have them . . . did you think you are alone? It seems like it when you are in the midst of one and you just know that the whole world is against you.


Everything in life is what we perceive them to be, even bad days can be used for good if you look for lessons to be learned from them. For one thing, patience and perseverance is learned through bad days and even hard times (aka extended bad days . . . they truly build a strong character if we can only hang in there).


One of the greatest blessings in my life came to me as a result of hard times . . . more than extended bad days, those days seemed to never end, but they did. The result was a new found appreciation and gratefulness for good days and all that was good in my life. I stumbled on to the “Simple Abundance” lifestyle and it changed my life. That philosophy prepared me for the even darker days of my life.


Even the most positive people have bad days and it is ok to indulge in a bit of a pity party, have some chocolate or whatever else lifts your spirits . . . but don’t let the party last too long, you know, moderation and all that. 


Brush yourself off and start over again with a renewed spirit. Rise above it and realize that tomorrow is another day . . . be positive no matter how bleek it appears to be because it can all change in an instant.

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Positive energy vs negative realities

We have all subconsciously been programmed throughout a lifetime by our parents, friends, siblings, ourselves, and lasting emotions from past experience, whether we know it or not. Our belief system is within the inner self, guiding and controlling our thoughts and actions. Actions create the reality whether it is positive or negative.


Understanding what we have been programmed to believe is the key to striking the balance between positive energy and negative realities. A person can have all the positive energy necessary to create a positive reality, however, when the little voice within has been programmed to expect a negative reality, the little voice will usually win. Positive programming results in positive realities.


Our belief system is an important factor of success, therefore, the person with the negative belief system must learn how to rewrite the program . . . get rid of the negative, self-limiting beliefs in order to guide future actions positively.


Unless we change what needs to be changed within ourselves, we can indulge in rationalizations and illusions that do nothing but feed a vicious cycle of negativity . . . “what if . . .”.


Those afflicted with a negative belief system tend to use negative affirmations without realizing it. The phrase “I can’t” spoken out loud or thought about is the best example of a negative affirmation. Say it enough times and the negative affirmation becomes a negative reality.


Striking the balance between positive and negative is in the thought process. Dwelling on negative realities keeps the negative programming alive. Consciously rejecting negative thoughts is the beginning of rewriting the program.


Of course a certain amount of worry in a given situation is healthy. Living life looking through rose colored glasses, throwing caution to the wind is irresponsible.


Realize that you are always a work in progress, be patient with yourself, knowing that you were born to do great things in your life. Give yourself the gift of the highest of expectations expecting more progress on some days than others.


Allow every positive or negative experience to be a learning experience . . . focus on the positive lesson learned. Embrace the philosophy that everything happens for a reason . . . accept whatever it is and move on.

“The biggest enemies we have to overcome on the road to success are not a lack of ability and a lack of opportunity, but fears of failure and rejection and the doubts that they trigger.”

(Brian Tracy, from the book, Eat That Frog!)

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Freedom and success . . . the other side of fear of failure

Fear of failure . . . despite rational thinking, education, talent and ability . . . makes the exhilaration of victory and success impossible. Fear can cause a potentially successful person to accept mediocrity . . . if you don’t take the risk, you’re guaranteed not to face failure.

The other side of that fear

is freedom and success . . .

Henry Ford stated, “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”


Thoughts are powerful and fear is irrational . . . it is the thought of the fear, not the actual experience or “failure,” but the dread it inspires. Obsessive dwelling on the matter reinforces one dark thought after another until success is no longer a reality.


The weight of the dread and fear builds and grows, slowing down progress and cluttering the mind. If the fear is thought of logically, we find they have no rational basis.

Just do it . . .

Smart educated engineers laughed at Henry Ford’s dream of building automobiles, who no doubt perceived him as illiterate and ignorant since he was just an uneducated man with a dream.


Ford was "ignorant" of the fear he overcame due to of his lack of education. His dream was greater than his fear and perceived “limitations” . . . positive thoughts of his dream drove him to success.


How unfortunate would it have been if he let his fear of failure conquer him?


Success is action and bold, courageous movement toward your goals and dreams. Action dispels fear . . . giving fear the time to occupy the thought process is giving it permission to paralyze any efforts and actions, leading to ultimate failure that was feared to begin with. Fear is not rational and is a vicious cycle!


Boldly moving toward your goals a little at a time, embracing the smallest of victories along the way, can start chipping away at that bondage of fear.

Success knows no boundaries!

Understanding how these fears affect us and learning how to cope and manage ourselves in the midst of the fear is one of the most important steps to freedom from fears.


When you miss out on an opportunity due to fear, you will never get that moment back . . . then the floodgates of regrets open up to mingle with the fears.  The pity party is then on its way . . . it is a vicious cycle.


We can’t prevent bad things from happening in our lives, but we can learn how to suppress or eliminate the obsessive focus fear places on us and not live a life of mediocrity with regrets.


We only have one life . . . and we CAN control the quality of that life through our thoughts and attitude.

You can conquer almost any fear if you

will only make up your mind to do so.

For remember, fear doesn’t exist 

anywhere except in the mind. 

~Dale Carnegie~

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Quality of Life and the Adventurous Attitude

What is adventure?  

Adventure could be defined as an activity that involves the possibility of risk, danger or exciting experiences. For one person, it could mean jumping off a bridge attached to a bungee cord, feeling the rush of rising and falling as the bungee cord does its thing.  Yet another could perceive adventure as a serene day at the beach.


Adventure could simply be seen as an attitude . . . a journey towards finding our unique potential . . . sometimes hidden by fear and worry.  It is how we approach the day-to-day obstacles of life, how we perceive and act on them that determines the level of adventure and quality of life.


Attitude adjustments that involve backing away from fear of the unknown and embracing the new challenges as an exciting adventure allows us to seize those new opportunities that present themselves with a positive mindset.  


Embracing adventure is acknowledging faith . . . a testing that faces the unknown without fear.  Stretching past the comfort zone allows us to find that unique potential within ourselves.


The adventurous attitude perceives everything in a positive light . . . life is awesome until it isn't . . . then you confront, face and solve the problem.  Until then, it isn't a problem . . . so why worry about the thing unless it has happened.


Speaking from experience, fear and worry is an obstacle from living life to its full potential . . . isn't life without adventure merely waiting to die?  


Readers of my blogs will understand what I am saying . . . since becoming a widow, my life was one of waiting to die, locking myself away from the world . . . get it over with, I didn't even want to try to be adventurous since I may get hurt in one way or another.  Warped thinking plays into the scenario . . .


Of course depression plays a huge role in attitude . . . but you can deal with it, fight it . . . turn it around no matter how many times you have to get back up when you fall down . . . find adventure in life again.  I did . . . although I still have to deal with the fears, some days better than others.


Love this quote . . .

"Most of the important things in the world 

have been accomplished by people who have 

kept on trying when there seemed to be 

no hope at all."  

Herbert Myer

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Cujo revisited

The movie "Cujo" was on cable tonight and watching it reminded me of the most crazy pet I have ever had in my life . . .
Buddy is no longer with me . . . I love all types of animals and dogs in particular.  Ever since I was a little girl there were lots of dogs in my life.  They are usually all sweetness and love . . . an enhancement to our lives, like an awesome life partner.  Not this dog . . .
Although I was the one who brought him in as a stray, he never really liked me for some reason.  Maybe I reminded him of someone who had mistreated him.  He was a "man dog" . . . loved my husband and followed him everywhere.  My husband adored this dog and spoiled him rotten.
It seems like when my husband passed away, Buddy developed behavioral/emotional problems . . . my vet recommended a pet psychologist.  No kidding!  He had always shown me his teeth if my presence was irritating him, but as time went on, it became a real problem.
The following is a post from a closed blog . . . check out the slide show and see how he'd show his teeth like a little demon dog . . . he was Cujo revisited.


This post was originally published
on September 13, 2007

He is Buddy, my rat terrier.

One of his nicknames is Cujo . . . if you saw the movie, you can guess why. He scares me sometimes and I have the utmost respect for him when his top lip starts to quiver. 

 Yeah, he gets his way!

He's spoiled, rules the house and is the best little watch dog I've ever had in my life.

I would love more dogs, but . . . OMG jealous

Buddy would eat these little guys for lunch

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Wants, needs and a little faith

In the midst of rough financial times, there is always that little something we want, but don't necessarily need . . . a little treat, a reward for surviving the struggle.

The following article comes from the Guideposts newsletter, which always provides me with a wealth of inspiration along with renewed faith and hope, like a reminder that God never gives us more than we can handle . . . and even the lesson of patience.

I couldn’t afford to buy a little gift for myself. 

But I could dream, couldn't I?

By Vickie Apicella, Port Orange, Florida

I stared longingly at the pair of brown clogs on the department store display rack. They seemed to be calling out my name. I tried to remind myself that I was only here today to buy my mother a special birthday gift. I couldn’t afford anything more. But now, these seemingly perfect brown flats were breaking down my resolve.


I guess you could say I’m a bit of a shop-a-holic, but I hadn’t been able to shop much lately. I’m a teacher, and in this economy, I hadn’t found a summer job. Over the past few months, my already meager savings had dwindled. It was only thanks to my generous parents that I could pay my bills.


Now, with a few weeks of paychecks in the bank and Mom’s birthday coming up, I wanted to show my mom how much I appreciated her help. I’d found a beautiful black sweater that I knew Mom would love and was all set to leave. Then the brown clogs caught my eye. They had a woven pattern on top and I already could picture all the outfits they’d go with.


I had to have them. I tucked the shoes under my arm and made my way towards the cash register. But a guilty feeling washed over me. “God,” I prayed, “I don’t really need these shoes, and I can’t afford to spend the extra money. I can make do with all you have given me.” Sadly, I returned the shoes to their place on the rack, paid for my mother’s present and left.


The next day, I stopped by my friend Terri’s house after work. Just before I was about to say goodbye, Terri stopped me. “I almost forgot,” she said. “I’ve got a box of old stuff I was going to give to a consignment shop, but if there’s anything you’re interested in, you’re more than welcome to help yourself.”


After yesterday’s shopping, I was in no mood to go looking through old clothes. Some consolation prize they would be, I thought. But I took a peek.


There, on top of the pile, was a pair of brand new looking brown clogs, with a woven pattern on top, just like the ones I’d turned down. “They’re too small on me,” Terri said.


I tried them on. Wouldn’t you know it? A perfect fit.


Read more Mysterious Ways stories
from Guideposts

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