The Drama Queen Syndrome

Are you a drama queen?

Or perhaps a drama king?

Maybe I'm overgeneralizing . . . as a seasoned drama queen will do . . . but I firmly believe that women don't corner the market on this syndrome.  

Guys . . . you know it . . . you can be just as dramatic as the most seasoned drama queen.

Are you guilty of taking a negative event to the outrageous proportion of a pattern of defeat that you just know will never end?  

Are you convinced that going on and on about it makes it all better?

It reminds me of an old saying that I have heard most of my life . . .

"make a mountain out of a mole hill"

I must admit to the title of Drama Queen . . . and yes, I'm well seasoned!  What can I say?  It is in my genes and ethnicity . . . I'm an italian with a bit of cuban thrown in . . . I was born with it . . . complete with the waving hands!

(The Captain is convinced that I would be unable to talk if my hands were tied . . . sometimes I know he is tempted!  Speaking of him . . . yes, he is a Drama King!)

At times it can be amusing, even comical, but taking it too far releases way too much negativity.  Life is too short for that!  Irritations at life situations should be taken seriously, but we can also laugh at the absurdity of it all rather than sap our energy on negativity.

 Neither may or may not change anything, but can ultimately make the way we handle it more pleasant. The alternative is similar to an irritating pack of little yappy barking dogs.

In my quest to make incremental improvements in my life, I am making a conscious effort to recognize the drama queen traits when the syndrome starts to rear it's ugly head and try to nip it in the bud while in the amusing stage.  

To mask the beginnings of something ugly about to happen, I am learning how to turn it into a comedy routine, quickly getting over the silly thing I was starting to get dramatic about.  It takes making a conscious effort to recognize it starting to happen.

My journey to peace, love and happiness has made me keenly aware of the "Drama Queen Syndrome" dangers . . . and my new-found awareness has made some potentially explosive situations comical, leading to smiles instead of frowns.

I wonder if there will be an "I told you so" type of
statement in the conversation when he wakes up!

So . . . come on, admit it . . . are you a drama queen . . . or king?

Is your partner a drama queen or king?

Both of you?

How do you handle it?

Inquiring minds want to know!

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How do you show you care?

“Love is not only something you feel.
It is something you do.”

David Wilkerson

Every time there is a horrific tragedy that captures the national

 or worldwide stage, reported on 24/7, I can't help but think about
the following post I wrote back in 2007.

There are families whose loved one was lost forever and those
teetering on the edge of life.  Life is short.  Sometimes shorter
than we expect it to be.  We tend to think that we will be on
this earth forever.  We aren't.

Tragedies happen to someone else . . . 

isn't that what we think?

None of us is immune from tragedy . . . and death.

Now that I have found my "significant other" . . . again . . .
I catch myself worrying about this kind of stuff since
tragedy hit my life and it scares me to even think
about going through it again.

Rather than worry about something that hasn't happened,

I choose to be aware of how fragile life is . . . and how
beautiful and precious love shared with another is

and cherish that love for what it is . . . a gift from God.

In her book, ‘No Less Than Greatness,’ Mary Manin Morrissey speaks of a research study that explored how family members communicate with each other. Apparently, the most frequently spoken words between husbands, wives, sisters and brothers were “What’s on?” and “Move.”

She goes on to say, “We all desire great relationships but often settle for just getting by. Many of us have stopped questioning the fact that we may know fictitious TV families more intimately than we do our own.”


The most powerful force in our lives is our ability to love.

Indeed, it’s the most basic essence of who we are.

The whole idea of compassion is based on a
keen awareness of the other.
The whole purpose of life is to live by love.

Thomas Merton

Source: Higher Awareness

One of the most important messages I want to get across in my writing is to not wait until it is too late to realize how important someone you love is to you.

While telling them you love them is so important and the words “I love you” should be expressed sincerely and often, actions speak louder than words.

To my new readers . . . I am a widow who was happily married 22 years, never expecting to be single again . . . never wanting to be single again since my husband and I had a charmed life. We worked hard, partied hard and were so happy . . . although it was not perfect.  Nothing is perfect.

The tragic events of September 11 changed our lives. It horrified both of us and made us realize how fragile life is. We made a pact on 9/11/01 to never go to bed angry, always treat each “goodbye” as the last time we were to see each other and to find little ways of expressing love for each other.

It was the happiest year of our married life.

He died suddenly on 10/8/02.

Do you know how important of a gift that year was to me? 

 We had a great marriage, but the last year was awesome . . . the way it should be every day.

Remember my story the next time you say “goodbye” to someone you love.

How do you experience and express

your love for the people in your life?

P.S. I Love You My Captain

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Fantasy meets reality

Love is waking up to find the subject of the dream

you were having asleep on your shoulder.

It is where fantasy meets reality.

The holidays were awesome, the new year has been blissful.  Seems like I've been walking around in a lazy haze since the holidays.  I'm genuinely happy for the first time in way too many years!

Long distance relationships can become reality :)

Love entered my life and it seems as if nothing else matters.  There is a line in Dido's song Thank You that reminds me of exactly how I feel . . .

"Even if my house falls down,
I wouldn't have a clue,
Because you're near me"

Isn't it awesome when
 fantasy turns into reality?

It can also be seen as answered prayer

on a grand scale!

Has there been a time in your life when one

of your fantasies came true?

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What is love?

Love is patient, Love is kind,

It does not envy, it does not boast,

It is not proud, It is not rude,

It is not self-seeking,

It is not easily angered,

It keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil,

but rejoices with the truth.

Love always protects, always trusts,

always hopes, always perseveres.

Love bears all things, believes all things,

hopes all things, endures all things.

L o v e N e v e r E n d s

L o v e N e v e r F a i l s

Corinthians 13 : 4 - 8

It is my favorite interpretation of perfect love and my favorite passage from the Bible . . . in my opinion, the most beautiful words ever written.

Love is a many splendored thing with a range of meanings as deep as the ocean . . . all beautiful since love is the most important emotion there is.

There is romantic love which transforms an otherwise normal woman into feeling like the queen of the world. Romantic love manifests itself into passionate ”forever love” . . . being a part of another person, facing life together as partners, experiencing good times and bad supporting each other . . . the end of loneliness, the end of fear of being alone, security, the sense of belonging and the awesome feeling of the caring and nurturing of another person. Finding true, forever love with another human being is the most beautiful thing that can happen in anyone’s life. That just touches on the romantic side of love.

Then there is the nurturing part of love as in the love of a child or the love . . . the love of a favorite thing, as in the love of music.

All types of love change with intensity and the passage of time takes love through differing stages. The exploration of love is my favorite journey through peace, love and happiness . . .

This post was written before I found love again.

It is my first post of the year since love is one of the themes
of my blog . . . and this is one of my favorite posts of all time.

I dedicate this post to The Captain, who has enhanced my

life beyond my prayers and wildest dreams.

I love you sweetie . . . Happy New Year

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Out with the old . . . in with the new

New Years Resolutions are something that I feel set me up for failure.

It's just another night . . . just another day, yet it is so symbolic.  In the past I've referred to the upcoming new year as a new chapter in a book.

Rather than set unrealistic goals and promises to myself, I like to take a look at the year about to end.  

What did I like about it?  

What did I hate about it?  

What would I change if I could?

It is also a good time to assess the daily routine and contemplate making it better.  Streamline the process . . . reminds me of the TQM business management philosophy taught by one of the best friends I have ever had, a professor I worked for many years.  I'll never forget his take on incorporating TQM (total quality management) into daily life.  It is all about continual improvement . . . that is what I always strive for.

The new years resolution posts are all over the blogs this morning with the typical lists of unrealistic goals . . . lose weight, quit smoking . . . blah blah blah.  Wonder what the scientific percentage is of those who actually stick to a new years resolution all the way to next Christmas?

Some of the topics I really liked for consideration in my life . . . some I already do, but need to change the way I approach it.

Identify the one thing that you can accomplish in 2011 which would allow you to call the year a success.

Keep a journal . . . be grateful about 5 simple pleasures every day . . . adopt the Simple Abundance lifestyle.  (I used to do this in a public blog that is now closed, but got away from it even though I am aware daily . . . but I need to get back to writing it down.  It helps to look back.)  The journal is like a conversation within yourself, discussing your feelings on topics of interest to you.  It is the ultimate ramble post . . .

Make a list of 10 simple pleasures you can incorporate into your life on a regular basis.  Examples . . . sitting out on the porch drinking flavored coffee in your favorite mug, visiting the park at least once a week to enjoy nature, give yourself spa days and pamper yourself . . . this one goes along with the journal, where you can discover what that simple pleasures are . . . if you ask yourself the right questions.

I love this one . . . Write down the names of 5 people you admire, whether you know them or not, and then write down why you admire them. Write down what you can do to acquire the traits or characteristics that you admire about these people.

My biggest challenge . . . Go through each room of your house and make a list of 10 items for each room which are currently cluttering up your home.  Get rid of them . . . or give them a new purpose!

The ongoing philosophy of my life is to focus on the quality of my life . . . and figuring out what it takes to make it the best it can be for me.  It isn't something that happens at the stroke of midnight on New Years Eve . . . it all happens for me through incremental changes throughout the year . . . and throughout my life.

How about you?

Do you make New Year Resolutions?

Do you usually stick to them?

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I'm back, but not really?

My routine has been compromised by the Christmas holiday and The Captain on a different work schedule for the next week or so.  Although I'm a creature of habit, I can be moved in a different direction but need time to adjust.

Our Christmas was awesome . . . not only because it was the first Christmas together for The Captain and I, but for the first time since I became a widow, I actually enjoyed being in a room full of people and felt like part of the real world again.  It was great to get together with family and enjoy some quality time that has been a long time coming.

We were presented with a gift from God . . . a sweet kitty showed up out of nowhere and decided to make our yard its home.  Little by little, we have introduced him to living indoors and the wild thing is now in the house permanently.  He has adjusted nicely after a day of standing by the door so he could chase the poor squirrels.

The one thing I haven't liked is when he proudly appeared with a baby squirrel in his mouth and proceeded to make it a snack while The Captain and I were enjoying a cup of coffee and relaxing in our outdoor dining area.  ugggghhhhh it totally grossed me out!  

It's nature's way . . . and hastened our decision to make him an inside cat.  We both love feeding the squirrels and watching them run around outside.  They are as pets too!

As a loyal dog lover, I never had a cat as a pet . . . another adjustment I am getting used to.  When he first showed up, I had no idea of how to care for a cat.  I'm learning fast!  At the moment, we have no idea if Willie the Wonder Cat is male or female . . . we just started calling him Willie and it stuck.

Activities on the domestic front have kept me busy and away from blogging.  The time I have spent on the computer has been entering giveaways . . . I've developed a new obsession.  The winnings are slowly arriving and I'm thrilled at the concept of receiving these items for free!  The more I win, the more time I spend on giveaways.

The Christmas stuff is coming down today . . . we are anxious to get Willie settled into his area and also assemble the exercise bike that is doing neither one of us any good in the box.  Lots of changes!  We still plan on adopting a dog, but first need to get Willie comfortable in his surroundings.

How was your Christmas holiday?

Having a difficult time getting
 back into the routine too?

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Merry Christmas from the Captain and me

It is Christmas Eve day and as usual,
I have procrastinated until the last minute.

We should already be at my cousin's house in the midst of roasting a pig that started early this morning . . . or maybe last night.  I haven't even made the fudge yet!!  Why do I do this?  Me very bad with the procrastination thing.  It drives The Captain crazy!

Well, as tradition goes in my family . . . my cousin Chris and his wife Tina host a fabulous Christmas Eve Party that starts early in the morning and continues well into Christmas morning.  It is not unusual for them to throw down the blankets in the living room and have a slumber party for those who partied way too much and have no business driving home.  Although I have been tamed through the years, I come from a family of drinkers.  We are an ethnic mix of Italian and Cuban, a wild combination!  The Captain will experience his first holiday gathering with that part of my family . . . his wildness will fit right in.

Christmas Day will be spent at my brother's house with his family, my sister-in-law's family, my mom and her boyfriend.  It is a much smaller crowd!  My mom is making her famous lasagna and flan cake . . . yummy!!

This Christmas is very special for me since it is the first one that The Captain and I are spending together.  Last year we spent the holiday with a bluetooth stuck to our ears.  I'm so grateful that we found each other through the miracle of technology and Twitter.  

Imagine a chance meeting and conversations of 120 characters or less turning into a lifetime relationship.  It still amazes me how God works his miracles . . . I prayed for a partner although I never did the things that normal single people do to meet other singles.  Although I was using Twitter as a jumping off point to start my social life locally, searching for local political affiliations and groups to join, I ended up finding a crazy pirate from North Carolina living in Montana on a political related Friday Follow.

I ended up not joining any local political groups
 and did not participate in local socializing.

It was a long and ponderous process from there to here

. . . but we are here now and we couldn't be happier.

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