Great expectations

In an older post, 
I defined great expectations
 as going beyond hope and faith.


Often faith is described as seeing the outcome before it happens.  I felt it, I knew it.  I just didn't know what "it" was.  My hope was to be happy again.  Some people are meant to share their lives with a significant other.  I am one of them . . . definitely miserable living alone and grieving my loss way too long.

The gift in my greatest expectations was to find true love again.  Little did I know . . . be careful what you wish for!  As I experienced the most unusual and entertaining journey of my life, through the good and the bad aspects of it all, I can honestly say that I enjoyed every moment of falling in love again.  

The one single thing that I remember in that time before I encountered The Captain is that I felt as though something wonderful was about to happen in my life.  I just knew.  God put a peace in my heart that surpassed all understanding and logic.

The following post describes the emotions of anticipation and great expectations as it relates to faith and hope . . . and "it."

My fuzzy dreams became a reality.  

"It" was to love and be loved again.

The Captain has been one of the
 greatest gifts in my life . . . friendship
that turns into love.

I'm still enjoying the moment :)


Never lose faith and hope, even in your darkest days.

Look for the light at the end of the tunnel.

It is there.

Originally posted March 2009

Out of the darkest despair of blue days came sunshine and rainbows, expectations and plans running through my mind repeatedly like a child on Christmas Eve being so excited anticipating Santa’s visit and what gifts he may bring.

The expectations are more like fuzzy dreams and what I’m feeling is the anticipation of what is to come with the faith that it is everything I need . . . that is all I want.

All of these fabulous emotions have brought me a peace and calmness that has allowed me restful sleep and a definite routine. As a result, the anxiety and restless feelings are under control and what is left goes beyond faith and hope . . . great expectations.

A slight shift in my thinking has made such a difference for me by putting a positive emphasis on enjoying the journey rather than constantly anticipating the destination.

Just as the excitement on Christmas Eve anticipating the gifts, once the gifts are open, where is the excitement of anticipation? The anticipation is what brings the most joy . . . at least it does for me.

The balance of the outcome, what I call the “ying/yang thing” is accepting the gifts, relax and enjoy them . . . experience and love the joy of the moment.

Living in the moment and anticipating unexpected changes in life as a new and exciting journey has been making a big difference in my life.

Has faith and hope ever given you

those kind of great expectations

 that surpasses understanding?

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Finding the key

"So often time it happens,

 we all live our life in chains,

 and we never even know

 we have the key."

The Eagles, lyrics from the song

"Already Gone"

The possibilities are endless when the realization hits that we hold the key to that ball and chain many of us attach ourselves to.  

Lack of self-esteem and self-confidence is an example of what could be seen as a ball and chain.  Some people confuse the ball and chain as depression . . . it is a fine line.

Life circumstances can get someone to that point and play tricks on the mind.  The thought process turns negative and everything looks impossible.  

However, nothing is impossible when we know we have that key.

In the darkest days of my life, learning how to be grateful for the simplest of things helped me realize so much and put everything into perspective.  Gratefulness was my key.

Do you know what yours is?

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The foundation of a great relationship

Love is not enough.

It must be the foundation.

The beginning and the end.

Everything or nothing.

And nothing without truth.

Author unknown

I want to take a part of the storyline from one of my favorite movies, "The Wedding Singer" to illustrate what I want to talk about . . . Trust, loyalty, respect in a relationship. Although I am speaking romantically, it also pertains to all types of relationships in life.

It is how we should treat any other fellow human being, no matter how much money they have, where they are born, what color their skin is, or what they do for a living.

RESPECT

A quick synopsis of the movie

The time is the mid 80’s . . . Robbie Hart is a wannabe rock-star, but in reality, he is New Jersey’s favorite wedding singer . . . the life of the party, that is, until his own fiancée leaves him at the altar. 
Heartbroken and dejected, Robbie can’t help but make every wedding he plays a disaster. Along comes Julia, a waitress who wins his affection. Problem . . . Julia is about to be married to a Wall Street shark. Robbie must pull off the performance of his life or the girl of his dreams will marry the shark who is all wrong for her.

Julia’s fiance was a cool guy with the good job, has money, dresses nice, drives an awesome car, he’s drop dead gorgeous and . . . oh yeah, he is already cheating on Julia before they are even married just because he can.

She feels it, she knows it . . . she’s not madly in love with him . . . so really, what difference does it make? He’ll give her a comfortable life.

But wait!

Isn’t that what is wrong with this world? We settle for what is going to be tolerable and comfortable, but not what is going to make us deliriously happy to want to jump out of bed everyday to a beautiful new day because we are so in love and so happy with our life?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH WAITING FOR THAT?

Why is does it seem that everything
is all about the money?

But I digress . . . I wanted to talk about honesty in a relationship. Why can’t people be honest anymore? Why is there always a hidden agenda of some kind? Don’t people want to simply be happy anymore? Is happiness, respect and decency coming second to whatever else is more important?

I don’t understand . . .
what could be more important than that?

And what about living a lie? Don’t people have a conscience that they can tell a lie so easily and be so dishonest? Don’t they have a problem looking at themselves in the mirror and looking at someone who is actually betraying themselves by telling lies? 

We answer to God and he knows . . .

Maybe that is why JR and I had such a great marriage.  We were totally honest with each other . . . sometimes I wondered if it was such a good idea to be so honest, but in the long run, it was the good thing to do. We had total respect for each other as individuals, as two human beings living sharing our time together on earth in peace and harmony, respecting each other and doing the best we could to make the other happy.

The Captain and I have both brought emotional baggage to our new marriage.  However, past lessons can make our present lives so much happier.   Working through all the little things that two people encounter with total honesty when they first come together is so very important in building the foundation for an awesome relationship.

The good thing about second marriages . . . you know what NOT to do.  

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Great love, wishes and miracles

What a beautiful quote by Willa Cather!

Another version of this quote replaces wishes with miracles.

I'm not sure which one is the correct quote.

As I came across the quote, I pondered the meaning although I have run across it many times through the years and never gave it a thought.

My first interpretation was "with love comes faith."

My second interpretation was "is love enough?"

"Enough for what?"

Perhaps Willa was conveying the message that even the greatest love does not bring happiness, but we can always hope for a miracle?  Or was she conveying another message about being patient with love?

Could it be that she had a great love for someone who did not return the same degree of love, but she could wish for her desires?

There is a popular quote that has been used in song lyrics through the years . . . 

"love can move mountains."

Could we interpret the meaning of the Willa's quote to mean the same thing?

Sometimes I analyze and think too much!

The quote just got me to thinking about what her thoughts and feelings were when she wrote it . . . and what was going on in her life at the time.  Love and how it affects us fascinates me!

What is your interpretation

 of the quote?

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Embrace Self-Worth and Self-Love

If you have built castles in the air
your work need not be lost.
That is where they should be.
Now put the foundations under them.

Henry David Thoreau


One of the ways to love the self more is to stop comparing yourself to others. Although you are part of a whole, you are also an individual self, with your own path. The group and family belief systems you have taken on as your own can be obstacles to your self-love. The challenge of loving the self is to step aside from everything you are told, and ask, "Does this fit me? Does this bring me joy? Do I feel good when I do it?" It is ultimately your own experience that counts.
(Orin & DaBen through Sanaya Roman,
from the book, Living With Joy) 
orindaben.com


"Nobody needs to prove to anybody what they're worthy of, just the person that they look at in the mirror. That's the only person you need to answer to."
Picabo Street


"Self-worth comes from one thing - thinking that you are worthy."
Wayne Dyer



"We long for love, success, abundance and all that is good to come into our life. Yet, many of us feel we are not worthy of such good fortune. It is a great moment when we finally realize we are worthy of all the goodness, all the greatness and all the love that life has to offer. For it is that moment we realize our true nature, our true identity and from that moment forward our lives change. When we know we are worthy of our heart's desire, it shows up effortlessly."

Mastin Kipp

Self-love and self-worth can be tricky, especially when one is afflicted with any degree of depression.  The mind can play tricks on thoughts and perceptions that may lead to feelings of unworthiness and self-hatred.  It just happens!

Even though I had the emotional tools to deal with feelings of failure at various stages of my life, my conscious mind didn't want to deal with it.  Isn't it easier to just give in and let yourself dig the hole deeper and deeper into the danger zone?  How well I know . . .

I think of the millions of people who are currently unemployed in poor economic times, having to compete with those who are over-qualified for the same positions . . . those who are willing to take the position just to survive.  I've been there too . . . the subconscious feeling of self-worth and and the survival mode is what got me back on my feet and back to the reality of having to compete for a job.  It is a mind game.

It is my belief that anyone can do anything they set their mind to when self-worth, confidence and a strong sense of survival is present.  What a freeing experience it was for me to finally realize that I am an asset in the workplace.  At that point, it was easy to present myself as such to a potential employer.

Finding real love again happened for me the same way.


Self-love and self-worth are
important ingredients in this
 world of survival of the fittest.

Refuse to be a victim!

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Anything is possible

For the weak it is unattainable.

For the fearful it is the unknown.

For the bold it is opportunity.

The future has many names. 

Victor Hugo

Living life in the now, knowing that there are opportunities all around us, can earn a happy future.  It is all about keeping an open mind and always keeping the future in mind, while learning from past mistakes.

The fearful can realize that the unknown holds opportunity, while moving ahead cautiously.  From experience, I know that the fearful can also be bold when opportunity presents itself.  Knowing and truly believing that just about anything is possible in the future gives the fearful hope for the future.

Past experience found me finding long distance relationships on the other side of the world.  Fear of the unknown and moving on kept love a world away . . . a safe haven . . . lonely, but not really alone . . . proceeding toward love with extreme caution, yet at the same time proving that the opportunity to find an attainable love connection was out there for me when the time was right.

Those closest to me worried that I would live a lonely existence behind a computer monitor the rest of my life urged me to get out into the real world . . . one that I was not ready for.  I tried.  I failed miserably!

The message I'm trying to get across is to seize opportunities in your time and in your way.  Be true to yourself with lots of patience.  Fear of the unknown is not a bad thing . . . you can move on boldly and cautiously at the same time, knowing that anything is possible when you believe in yourself, trusting and listening to your instincts.

Who knew that a chance #followfriday on Twitter would lead to an awesome relationship, friendship through emails, chat and phone calls for a long time would lead to the most perfect love I could ever imagine.  

We were married two weeks ago.

The future has many names . . . name your future.

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The day the world changed

As on any normal day, I was watching the morning news when the breaking news came in that a plane had hit the World Trade Center. I remember wondering what it must have been like to be stuck on those top floors and even envisioned what those poor souls were going through to survive.

I watched in horror as the second plane hit and knew that nothing would ever be the same. My heart sank when the buildings came down in a black cloud and it seemed as though I was watching a sci-fi flic. 

But it wasn't a movie or a staged production. 

It was evil . . . and it changed our world.

Please pray for world peace and 

an end to the evil called terrorism.

I'm still haunted by the images and my thoughts about the day.

Do you ever wonder who those people were that no doubt fought the fight of their lives on that day, only to lose their lives? The person they were, why they were special to their loved ones? And their loved ones . . . the thoughts that must haunt them like a chronic disease that can't be cured. I think of them and their families often. 

We sometimes forget the residents of Manhattan who had their world ripped apart. Some were left homeless, some were eyewitnesses to the horror as it unfolded. How about those who are chronically ill because of what they breathed in that day? I can't imagine living that nightmare.

This memorial post is dedicated to the memory of those lost in the World Trade Center & Pentagon terrorist attacks . . . and the heroes who fought the  terrorists on Flight 93 on September 11, 2001. 

May we never forget them, the loved ones they left behind and the day our whole world changed.
Freedom itself was attacked
 this morning by a faceless coward,
 and freedom will be defended.
George W. Bush

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