Howl at the moon!

There are lazy days like today, when I like to go back through my old blogs and journal entries to get a feel for a moment in time when life was not so great.  It makes me feel so grateful for the life changes I have made and so appreciative of my new little family.  

When I recollect a place in time, like the time in June of 2008 when Buddy the dog bit me and ran away, the darkness momentarily creeps up on me like a bad dream.  He was JR's beloved dog, who resented me no matter how much love I gave him.  It is like he blamed me for JR's death . . . even though I know that a dog does not have that capacity . . . or do they? 

As if she knew that darkness was creeping up on me, my sweet little furbaby Kiki came to where I am sitting at the computer and put her little paw on my arm, and I could feel her telling me "it is OK mommy, the nightmare is over" . . . animals know!  The love in those big brown eyes made me realize that I am so lucky that The Captain convinced me it was time to adopt our sweet furbabies last year.

I still have times of momentary darkness when it feels like full moon madness and wanting to howl at the moon as loudly as I can.  The sadness and grief of missing my "previous family" trips me up and takes me back.  On the other hand, I never want to forget them . . . they were a huge part of my life.  The difference is that I have my new family and the loneliness has disappeared.

Today I am so blessed that I found that man to love, be loved by and spend the rest of my life with and sweet Kiki and Mimi to share our lives with.  I thought of that this morning when we were all sitting on the bed, the fur babies wanting love and attention from us . . . we share so much love.

My love of dogs overshadowed the fear of my previous experience in June of 2008 that brought on a fear of dogs that I thought would never go away.  And The Captain introduced me to the world of cats that I had never explored before we adopted Mimi.

Time does heal . . .



This entry was originally published on June 8, 2008 Is there a full moon out? This week has been non-stop full moon madness . . . not just this week, it started around Mother's Day. Things felt better, I picked myself up and the past couple of days have knocked me down again big time . . . but no, I'm not defeated . . . this time I feel strong and determined to shed this phase of full moon madness.

Buddy is gone . . . he ran away after biting my foot . . . it took me at least an hour to stop the bleeding. Did I mention that it hurts like hell and I want to scream every time I put my weight on my foot?

My heart is broken . . . when I opened the door to put my foot under the outside hose so I would not get blood all over my floors, he ran out and would not come back during a fierce thunder and lightning storm.

Something bizarre has been going on with the little guy lately. Every time there was a storm, he would cry like a baby and want in the house. I kept him in my back room that was secured with a doggie gate . . . he wasn't allowed in the main part of the house since he is so destructive. He learned how to knock the gate down and pretty much broke the gate, making it easy for him to escape.

I thought he would be back by now . . . and really, I'm having mixed feelings. I love him, he has been my baby for something like 12 years. I've made jokes about him being Cujo, but he DID turn on me at a time of high anxiety without me putting a hand on him. I'm too scared of him, which is part of the problem, he is a spoiled dog who gets no discipline because I didn't want him to bite me.

Hopefully, he has already found another home where he doesn't feel such resentment towards his master. It just seems like since JR died, he was never the same . . . neither one of us has been . . .

This has broken my heart and now I'm so scared of dogs. Dogs have always been such a huge part of my life . . . but I was never so fiercely bitten before.

I've been thinking of what my life is gonna be like without my little Buddy.

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Dreams and aspirations

Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming,
we lose the excitement of possibilities.
Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.

Gloria Steinem



Where would I be without my dreams? Where would any of us be? It would be a boring world if we didn't dream as big as we could without imagination and creativity to make life more exciting, fulfilling and all that I can be for who we are as an individual.

It is all about what we do with those dreams and ambitions. We can either be a dreamer or a doer . . . actually a doer is both, first comes the dream, then the doer carries out the dream where the dreamer just dreams about the dream.


We can do whatever we want
 to do with those dreams.

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Is your glass half full or half empty?

There is something to be said about living a

 simple life based on the concept of gratefulness.

There is also something to be said about the perception of the glass being half full or half empty . . . the attitude associated with this perception of reality drives attitude.  

Doesn't it?  

When it comes down to it, this traditional philosophical saying divides the optimists from the pessimists, opportunity versus doom and gloom . . . and on and on and on . . .

The concept of simply being grateful that the glass exists and that there is something in it can be interpreted as neither positive or negative.  Simply being grateful can be seen as an alternate way of pondering the timeless question of the glass and life in general.

Here are some of those concepts for your consideration:

   The worrier frets that the remaining half will evaporate by next morning. 

The fanatic thinks the glass is completely full, even though it isn't.  

Whether it is or not is in the eye of the beholder, isn't it?

Some will see a dirty glass, dump out the water and put the dried glass away in the cupboard.

Others will see the glass going from full to empty depending on the circumstances, and reminds the drinker that he can always fill the glass when he wishes.

Or can he?

The auditor first checks whether the empty half is material and then designs the audit procedures to obtain sufficient evidence to conclude that the glass is indeed empty.

The physicist says that the glass is not empty at all - it is half-filled with water and half-filled with air ~ hence, fully filled on the whole!

The research scientist says that following initial observation and testing a working hypothesis for further research is: "The glass is both half full and half empty," and that these findings warrant further investigation with a more representative sample of glasses and contents, which may or may not be liquid.

The obsessive compulsive postpones the question until the level is checked, and checked again, and again, and again . . .

He also never comes to a conclusion!

The co-dependent hurries to fill your glass, but not so completely that you would spill it and upset you.

The politician says that under the last government the glass was half-empty, and becoming emptier, but thanks to his own party's new leadership, the glass is definitely now half-full, and becoming fuller; but if the other party were to return to power, the glass would once again undoubtedly empty rapidly.

HUH??? Typical politician!

The opportunist says, "Thanks, folks! While you were debating it, I drank it."

Doesn't this illustrate how different people see the same situation in different ways?

I think the opportunist had the best perception of the glass, although I prefer to be grateful I have the glass and there is something in it!

What do you think?

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How to Build a Strong Marriage

The following is an excerpt of an excellent article from a faith-based website I have recently discovered, Faith's Messenger.  Respect for another person goes a long way in any relationship, whether it is marriage or friendship.

"We all have wings, but some of us don't know why."

Lyrics from Tear Us Apart|INXS

"There are many different things that can be done within a marriage to avoid the appearance of evil. Respecting your spouse and respecting your marriage are full time jobs. The key to finding out which rules to incorporate into your marriage is communicating with one another.

Be sensitive to the needs of your spouse. We all have our insecurities when it comes to ourselves and to our relationships. Our responsibility is to love God and to love the son/daughter He gave us unconditionally. A great part of this unconditional love is making the other party feel loved, wanted, and respected.

Don’t make the necessary changes and adjustments in your marriage because you agree with them. Don’t make the adjustments because you understand why your spouse is requesting them. Make adjustments in your marriage for one reason only. Make them because you love your spouse and are willing to do what it takes to make them feel secure in your marriage.

Just the willingness on your part the make your spouse feel secure will go a long way toward showing that you respect your spouse and you respect your marriage." 

Source:  Faith's Messenger 

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Simple pleasures

A perfect depiction of what living life is all about for me . . . the simple pleasures that don't cost anything . . . simple abundance.

It is sweet freedom!

It is a beautiful sunset at the end of a beautiful day, comfortably at peace, sitting on the white sandy beach, the sun seeming to sit on the sparkly blue waters of the Gulf of Mexico . . . watching the sun as it slowly disappears as the ever changing colors of the sky unfold before you . . . nature's splash of color . . . a hug from my sweetie . . . a gift from God that didn't cost a thing.

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You think you had a bad day?

My mama always tells me, when you are having  a really bad day, just think that someone else  isn't quite as fortunate as you are . . .

OK, I feel better now . . .

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Growing Day by Day

Suffering is the sandpaper of our life.

 It does its work of shaping us.

 Suffering is part of our training
 program for becoming wise.

Ram Dass

We understand that we want to be better but have no clear definition of what better means and that is part of the process.

At some point in our lives, many of us find ourselves overcome with the desire to become better people. While we are all uniquely capable of navigating this world, we may nonetheless feel driven to grow, expand, and change. This innate need for personal expansion can lead us down many paths as we develop within the context of our individual lives. Yet the initial steps that can put us on the road to evolution are not always clear. We understand that we want to be better but have no clear definition of “better.” To ease this often frustrating uncertainty, we can take small steps, keeping our own concept of growth in mind rather than allowing others to direct the course of our journey. And we should accept that change won’t happen overnight—we may not recognize the transformations taking place within us at first.

Becoming a better person in your own eyes is a whole-life project, and thus you should focus your step-by-step efforts on multiple areas of your existence. Since you likely know innately which qualities you consider good, growing as an individual is simply a matter of making an effort to do good whenever possible. Respect should be a key element of your efforts. When you acknowledge that all people are deserving of compassion, consideration, and dignity, you are naturally more apt to treat them in the manner you yourself wish to be treated. You will intuitively become a more active listener, universally helpful, and truthful. Going the extra mile in all you do can also facilitate evolution. Approaching your everyday duties with an upbeat attitude and positive expectations can help you make the world a brighter, more cheerful place. Finally, coming to terms with your values and then abiding by them will enable you to introduce a new degree of integrity and dignity into your life.

As you endeavor to develop yourself further, you can take pride not only in your successes, but also in the fact that you are cultivating consciousness within yourself through your choices, actions, and behaviors. While you may never feel you have reached the pinnacles of awareness you hope to achieve, you can make the most of this creative process of transformation. Becoming a better person is your choice and is a natural progression in your journey of self-awareness.

Source: Daily Om

Attitude plays a huge part in the quest of becoming a "better person."

My perspective goes out of whack when I'm down, worrying about everything, in a foul mood and all positive vibes have flown out the window.  I'm learning not to even attempt to make anything better since that will just set me up to fail . . . adding insult to injury.  

I know to take a "time out to chill out" . . . that is usually when I write about whatever is bothering me . . . discuss it with The Captain to benefit from his carefree attitude (and hopefully learn to be more like him) . . . or do nothing productive at all and do something fun.  I'm grateful to have the freedom to be able to do that.

One of my areas in need of adjustment is attitude in my path to becoming a better person.  It is learning which battles are worth fighting, the things that are worthy of worrying about and knowing when to let go of those worries that we have no control over.  There has to be a good balance!

I'm finally realizing this attitude has been something I learned as a little girl growing up in a family who worries and frets about everything.  It won't take overnight for me to let go of that attitude that tends to warp my perspective.  While it is healthy to have a responsible concern about certain things, taking it over the top is counterproductive.

Cultivating consciousness has become of utmost importance in my life and I am more aware of it with every day that passes.  My greatest feelings of achievement come when I can immediately recognize that I am starting to fret a bit too much about something and move on to something else without a change in attitude.  

Definite progress that is leading to a better perspective toward life!

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