Getting the groove back

    Get serious with your life?  Really?

Seriously, I still don't have a complete grasp of what I want to do when I grow up.  The big picture is a lot more focused, however, there is so much in between getting there and here in the today.

Although I had joined the world of employment when The Captain moved in with me, then he joined that world and we eventually settled on retirement until we could figure out the rest.

A new relationship needs time to develop into a life of its own. The two people need to define, experience and constantly tweak as individuals need to change and grow.  We have been so fortunate and I am so grateful we have had this time to find ourselves individually and each other as a couple in our new reality after living and sharing another lifetime with other people.

Second chances in life are awesome!

Getting the groove back into a normal life and tweaking and perfecting the groove is a lifelong learning experience!  Don't you think?  Tweaking our lives keeps from having a boring life, which is a good thing!

One thing The Captain has taught me is serious positivity with no room for negativity.

Although I realized this many years ago, it has not been easy since I grew up in a fairly negative environment that was my normal.  It still is to a certain extent, but I am able to switch gears rather quickly to get back into that positive groove.  When I do, the whole world looks different in a good way thanks to my sweetie.

It has been a long journey, but I really think the time around the following post was my turning point.  The Captain was already in my life and I had to get  serious about getting my groove back!

This following post was originally posted

 on November 14, 2010:

After escaping to the outdoors and away from this computer, the blahs I was experiencing yesterday magically disappeared.  It is easy to forget to keep a positive balance in our lives when we are in the midst of things we get bogged down with.     

Life is somewhat of a never-ending "to do list" . . . you gotta walk away from it at times . . . escape in whatever way that works for you in order to keep the balance necessary for an awesome quality of life.

Reactions and responses need to be in the present rather than the past in order to positively respond to life circumstances . . . easier said than done . . . it is sometimes a difficult balance.

The key is understanding the reason behind the reactions, especially the negative ones. The thoughts that immediately inspire the reaction need to be positive in order to turn the tides and make unpleasant experiences tolerable and easier to cope with.

As long as I can remember, I have journaled daily about my emotions, happenings, reactions and outcomes . . . it was easy for me to go back and identify my natural impulses and reactions to problems. At times, the analysis of my emotions is a ponderous process, however necessary to leading a normal life after a life trauma.

The difficult part is changing those reactions by not identifying them with anything from a unique past experience . . . it is gone and must be released. Replace negative with positive thoughts . . . attitude adjustment.

A life of peace, love and happiness is all about maintaining a positive attitude through good times and bad experiences . . . they all eventually pass . . . better to experience the situation with a healthy state of mind.  A healthy state of mind knows when to escape and chill out a bit . . . what I call "getting your groove back".  

I'm working on it . . .

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Finding Your Joy

Some wise words from Daily Om about happiness and joy . . .

Being happy doesn’t come naturally to everybody. It is your birthright to be happy, choose happiness everyday. Our lives are rich with potential sources of happiness, but sometimes we become victims of negative thinking because we believe that focusing on all that has gone wrong will provide us with the motivation we need to face the challenges of survival.

When we choose to focus on what makes us happy, however, a shift occurs in the fabric of our existence. Finding something to be happy about every single day can help this shift take place. The vantage points from which we view the world are brought into balance, and we can see that being alive truly is a gift to be savored. There is always something we can be happy about—it is simply up to us to identify it. On one day, we may find happiness in a momentous, life-changing event such as a marriage or the birth of a child. On another day, the happiness we experience may be a product of our appreciation of a particularly well-brewed cup of a tea or the way the sun shines on a leaf. If we discover that we literally cannot call to mind a single joyful element of existence, we should examine the cause of the blockage standing between us and experiencing happiness.

Keeping a happiness journal is a wonderful way to catalog the happiness unfolding all around us so that joy has myriad opportunities to manifest itself in our lives. Writing about the emotions we experience while contemplating joy may give us insight into the factors compelling us to resist it. Happiness may not always come easily into your life. You have likely been conditioned to believe that the proper response to unmet expectations is one of sadness, anger, guilt, or fear.

To make joy a fixture in your existence, you must first accept that it is within your power to choose happiness over unhappiness every single day. Then, each time you discover some new source of happiness, the notion that the world is a happy place will find its way more deeply into your heart. On this day, find one thing to be happy about and let it fill your heart.


Source: The Daily Om

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Attitude and adjustments

Attitude is a complex mental state.

Definitely an understatement!

It can be a mix of feelings, beliefs and values
. . . a combination of infinite variables.

Sometimes attitude is a result of a simple feeling.

Attitude can make the difference between
a positive or negative result.

Attitude builds perception in someone else's
mind whether it is true or false.

"You cannot control what happens to you,

but you can control your attitude toward

what happens to you, and in that, you will

be mastering change rather than allowing

it to master you."

(Brian Tracy)

"Men are anxious to improve their circumstances,

but are unwilling to improve themselves; they

therefore remain bound."

(James Allen)

"When you can live with all your opposite qualities,

you will be living your total self."

(Deepak Chopra)

Attitude adjustments don't mean changing who you are . . .

it is changing how you choose to react to a situation.

Always be true to yourself!

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Don't settle

"Don't settle because you're afraid you won't find something better. Don't compromise because you don't want to be alone. Give your perfect life, lover and job time and space to grow into our life. 

Don't rush, don't hurry. Take your time, be easy, have patience. Allow everything to come to you with your subtle guiding and intending. Your days of constant chasing with little reward are over. Everything you've ever wanted and more coming to you, you just have to let it in with love, receptivity and non-judgment."

(Mastin Kipp, founder of The Daily Love)

"The key is to listen to your heart and let it carry you in the direction of your dreams. I've learned that it's possible to set your sights high and achieve your dreams and do it with integrity, character, and love. And each day that you're moving toward your dreams without compromising who you are, you're winning."

(Michael Dell, founder of Dell Computers)

Why do we settle for less than our ideal?

impatience

It doesn't matter what the situation is . . . settling for a relationship that is way less than perfect because you just want to have someone in your life, rushing through a project and not even attempting to do our best because we just want to get it over with, impatient with ourselves to put forward enough effort to meet a challenge . . . I could go on and on.

Settling is a personal choice and each of us as individuals control our choices.  The key is to realize this.

It is better to want what you don't have than to have what you don't want.

Make choices that coincide with your ultimate goals . . . don't sell yourself short and believe in yourself . . . we all deserve the happiness it brings.

Don't spend your life wishing for something more . . . don't settle for anything less than your dreams and aspirations.

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Facing problems

Facing Problems

Running Away Versus Moving Forward

Source: The Daily OM

There are times when change—moving to a new city or a new home, or changing careers—is the right thing at the right time. But there are also times when the urge for change is really just a desire to run away from problems that need to be faced rather than avoided. These are the kinds of problems that recur in our lives. For example, issues with coworkers that seem to arise at every job we take, or repeatedly getting into unhealthy relationships. A move might temporarily distract us, and even cure the problem for a time, simply by taking us out of the situation in which the problem fully manifested itself. 

However, the problem will eventually appear again in our new situation.


One way to make sure you aren’t running away from your problems is to notice whether you are moving towards something that is exciting in its own right, as opposed to something that is appealing only because it is not where you are now. For example, if you are leaving a city because you feel you can’t afford it, you could be reinforcing poverty consciousness, and you might find that you are unable to make ends meet in your new city as well. It would ultimately be less of an effort to stay where you are and look more deeply into your beliefs about money. You may discover that as you address these issues, you are able to make more money simply by changing your mindset. You may still decide to move, but it will be an act with a positive intention behind it and not an escape, which could make all the difference.

Any pain involved in facing our issues is well worth the effort in the end. When we face our problems instead of avoiding them, we free our energy and transform ourselves from people who run away into people who move enthusiastically forward.

It is all about fear.

Fear keeps our present situation alive, no matter how awful or how much we desire to make the change.  It is easier to sweep it under the rug and just run away from whatever it is.  Been there, done that!

Doesn't fear produce negative thinking?

Just a change in our mindset to one of a positive nature can make the changes possible.  Most of the time, it takes small steps, depending on the fear.

If you are stuck in an emotional rut, perhaps it is time to assess your situation, define your goals and break down the necessary steps to make it happen.

Write them down!  Start a journal to track your progress.  The motivation to keep going is greater when I periodically go back and see how far I have come with my fears.

One of the most important questions to ask yourself . . .

Why am I scared?

Be honest with yourself!

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Recharging my batteries

Sometimes I just have to take a break from the computer and recharge my batteries.  Actually, I have taken a break from everything but relaxing.

We took advantage of a special that our cable provider was offering on premium channels and I have really enjoyed watching movies.  Quite the contrast from my normal routine of watching too much cable news, food and home channels.  In the past it was very difficult for me to sit down, relax and watch an entire movie. Now I can!

My new doctor has completely revamped my meds and I have not felt this good in years.  I have weaned myself off of the habit forming drugs my former doctors have prescribed.  It has made all the difference in the world.  

While I was transitioning to the new meds, it was a great time to recharge my batteries and be grateful for everything I have been blessed with.

Seems like overnight, those things that have been weighing heavily on our shoulders are being solved . . . like, we are finally getting a new well drilled and I will be so grateful for running water again . . . and . . . our income has doubled since my social security situation has been resolved.  Happy times!!

The Captain and I are living one of my favorite sayings . . . "good things happen for those who wait!"

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Hope, Faith and A Positive Attitude

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.” 

Emily Dickinson

“Hope is an optimistic attitude of mind based on an expectation of positive outcomes related to events and circumstances in one's life or the world at large” 

“Dr. Barbara L. Fredrickson argues that hope comes into its own when crisis looms, opening us to new creative possibilities.  Frederickson argues that with great need comes an unusually wide range of ideas, as well as such positive emotions as happiness and joy, courage, and empowerment, drawn from four different areas of one’s self: from a cognitive, psychological, social, or physical perspective.”

Wikipedia

Faith and hope are two words that are often confused, although there is a difference between the two words. 

The word ‘faith’ is used in the sense of ‘trust’. 

The word ‘hope’ is used in the sense of ‘anticipation’.

A positive attitude originates with faith and trust that what you are anticipating will happen.

Peace and happiness happens when all these things happen in harmony with each other.

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