Believe in yourself

 

 

Love yourself first.

Believe in yourself.

Positive thinking.

There is power in all of the above.

Could be some of the secrets to happiness?

I'll admit that those times in my life when I felt negatively about myself were times of depression and unhappiness.  We can't blame ourselves for all that happens in our lives.  Learning how to move on quickly is so important.  You can get stuck in the rut of depression which is not good at all.  That is where I have been.  

It can't be confused with feeling sorry for yourself.

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Life is good

 

Although I am still healing and experiencing way too much emotional pain that I pretty much inflict on myself, life in general is good.  

Quality of life is subjective depending on how you perceive it.  I'm not sure that even made sense.  It did to me.  Other than the emotional stress I put on myself, my quality of life is pretty good.  

I have always been the type of person who could be alone in life and still have a good quality of life and experience happiness.  At an early age, people let me down and hurt me, making it easy to depend on myself since I have always felt there were few in my life I could trust not to hurt me.  And really, for that I am grateful since I am a stronger person for it.  Stronger does not mean happier though.

Not trusting others is one of those things that does not make my life happier.  It just makes me so aware of others and ready to deal with disappointment.  In my whole life, there are very few people I have allowed close to me.  And with those few, many of them were a mistake to let close.  We live and learn, don't we?

Since The Captain was ill before he passed away and since then, I allowed those who hurt me get the best of me and as a result, I have isolated myself, determined to be happy on my own and protect myself from further hurt.  It is so foolish to allow others to determine your happiness.  Even those we truly love.

I have learned that all I need is to believe in myself, be grateful for all that God has blessed me with and KNOW and acknowledge exactly how blessed I really am.  There is not much that I really need to worry about, so I have decided that it is time to shed the extreme sadness from grief and the anger of those who hurt me, find joy in the little things in life and make the quality of my life the best it has ever been.

That is the goal for the rest of my life!

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Healing is not easy

 

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Trigger days

 

 

A string of trigger days have beat me up.  

Sometimes I think I will never get over losing The Captain and Kiki and it is killing me.

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A Love That Lives

My sweet Kiki and the cherished memories of her presence in my life is a treasured and precious gift.  This month I celebrate her birth month.  She would have been 16 years old.

I miss her so much.  My heart is broken . . .

A Love That Lives

When you’ve loved a dog until the end,

You’ve known the deepest love, my friend.

A bond unspoken, pure and true,

A love that time cannot undo.

They walk beside us, heart to heart,

A faithful soul, a work of art.

Their joy, their trust, their gentle grace,

A love that lightens every place.

But love so deep must pay its due,

And when they go, they take a piece of you.

The silent house, the empty space,

The longing ache time can’t erase.

Yet love like theirs is never lost,

It lingers on, despite the cost.

In memories sweet, in whispered dreams,

In echoes soft of running streams.

For when we loved them till the end,

We gained a love that will transcend—

A gift that pain can’t steal away,

A love that lives beyond decay.

Mark Waldrop

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Lost

 

I'm trying.

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Hopes, peace and contentment

That little voice in my head has been speaking to me and through feeling grateful again, I have regained hope for the future.  It isn't hope for anything in particular, just peace and contentment.  

In my younger days, when I aspired to one thing or another, I didn't have time to be grateful or feel contentment.  It was the "thing" that was all important.

As time goes on and life throws challenges at me, peace and contentment is what is all important.  It is less complicated and leads to a happier life.  

The book "Simple Abundance" changed my life so many decades ago when I started reevaluating what was important in my life.  The change to a simpler life that made me so grateful for the nature and beauty in my back yard.  My yard was beautiful with so much color and alive with the birds and squirrels that I fed.  But after JR died, working in the yard was no longer satisfying.  Nothing was.  Grief does that to me.

The biggest lesson in my life has been dealing with grief and death.  I've been through so many phases in my life that has made peace and contentment the most important. Knowing that no matter what, everything will be ok is the best feeling in the world at this point in my life.

I've wiped the dust off of my book "Simple Abundance" and hope to find more peace and contentment.  It is about time that I remember hope is a good thing.

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