Fear and love . . . the great motivators

It has been said that fear and love are the basic motivating forces that drive us through the journey of life.

Fear prevents us from throwing caution to the wind, going for those things our heart desire and miss out on joys in life.

I’ve been plagued with a fear of vehicles since I have lost many friends to vehicle accidents in my lifetime, starting when I was very young. Although I have made great strides in conquering that phobia, it has kept me from enjoying many of the pleasures that life has to offer. That fear manifested itself into very anti-sociable behavior that has sometimes presented me with problems.

Fear produces a vicious cycle of behaviors that feed off of each other and motivates in a negative way.

On the other hand, the power of love makes us fearless, making a human being struck by love feel as if all possibilities in life are possible with much passion and excitement. In the movie “Titanic,” Jack felt he was the king of the world.

The lyrics of a song recorded by Celine Dion, “Have You Ever Been In Love” describe that feeling of walking on clouds, floating on air and a silly smile that nothing can wipe off of your face. That is the feeling of being in love that is magically amazing.

Here are some of those lyrics . . .

“Have you ever been in love
You could touch the moonlight
When your heart is shooting stars
You’re holding heaven in your arms
Have you ever been in love?

The time I spent waiting for something
That was heaven sent
When you find it don’t let go
I know . . .”

Have you ever been that in love with someone?

Did it make you fearless?

My answer is yes . . . and it is like magic!

If you have it . . . don’t let it go!

I'm still waiting!

read more

Dance to your song

“It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.” Walt Disney

It is so much more fun when negative thinkers remind you that “it” is impossible and they are shown otherwise.

I’ve always danced to my own song and of course, I have had my share of failures. However, you can’t accomplish anything if you think that it is impossible . . . most people won’t even try at the risk of ridicule from others and the dreaded words “I told you so.”

Walt Disney has always been one of my “success” role models. Having gone through bankruptcy and being seen as a “failure” by his friends, can you imagine the ridicule he must have gone through when he discussed his next business endeavor that involved a cartoon mouse?

I think of Walt Disney every time I get a bizarre idea that others would deem impossible. Failure is not what I think of. What I think of is the success of the Walt Disney empire and the cute little mouse that is loved by many generations.

Another saying from a song from the movie “Cinderella” . . . “a dream is a wish your heart makes” . . . one of my favorite quotes and still one of my favorite stories of all time. Cinderella believed in herself enough to go to that ball and ended up living happily ever after with her Prince Charming.

Never stop dreaming . . .

read more

Walk away . . . be true to yourself

I’ve “walked away” many times in my life for the sake of being true to myself. As I contemplate choices for my future, I have been thinking of those many times I’ve thrown caution to the wind in order find true happiness and my ideal quality of life. Since my husband died, quality of life issues have become much more important to me in the scope of a lifetime that can be gone in the blink of an eye.

The last occurrence of walking away was a couple of months ago when I just walked out of a high paying position with a corporation who is still operating profitably in desperate economic times, offering unlimited overtime and all kinds of perks.

After more than a decade of leaving the corporate environment for my sanity, a poor financial state made it necessary for me to attempt another return while vowing to remain true to myself and do those things that don’t make me stressed out.

It didn’t take long before I found myself driving home in tears, feeling overwhelmed and unhappy with the knowledge that jobs are not easy to find these days and thinking about the money.

Two months later, I’m still unemployed and struggling as a once successful internet entrepreneur hanging in there waiting for the economy to bring back buyers to my internet stores. Fear is in control of buyers, including myself. So far I’ve had enough to make it.

Despite the financial obstacles . . . I’M HAPPY because I am doing what I truly love and being true to myself. Hopefully the masquerade of a “real job” is finally over and I can put down the roles that I’ve played unsuccessfully so many times . . . my final curtain call.

The decision has been made to undertake yet another entrepreneurial internet endeavor with a friend. I’m having faith that I can be financially secure and true to myself forever . . . such is the life of a free spirit in search of peace, love and happiness.

read more

Loving the joys in life

A simple thing like having my computer back to almost normal after being hit with a nasty virus that took months, weeks and lots of patience to get rid of has made me a deliriously happy person today. I knock on wood and say a little prayer as I say that I got rid of it . . . I thought I had been rid of it before and it came creeping back to wreak more havoc.

Since my computer is where I make a living and I have been broke, I had to be inventive and figure out ways to attack this virus as I did not have the money to go out and buy another computer or a hard drive . . . or even take it to someone to fix.

My stubborn determination paid off for me this time, although my computer system is a complete mess. I’ll figure it out and learn something new at the same time . . . I’m not a computer systems geek, just a general computer geek.

When the challenge made me angry enough to find the way, I treated it as a game . . . the computer virus had to be defeated. As I sit at my computer working and finally able to play music again, I feel the satisfaction of accomplishment . . . and the music has brought me so much more joy today than in the past when it was an ordinary thing in my life.

Sure, I have been majorly bummed out about having these computer problems compounded by the accidental death of a close friend, slow internet sales and no steady job with benefits . . . BUT I try to be aware of and grateful for the little things that bring joy to my life and know that I will be touched with many little joys that bring a smile to my face.

It is called simple abundance. Finding joy in those little things in life make the big struggles tolerable. Since adopting this lifestyle way over a decade ago, my life has changed from the career woman who drove home in tears every night after a day of work. I’ll take smiles and just getting by over lots of money and tears any day. It is a choice of a simple lifestyle and realizing that ordinary can be awesome.

The downward spiral of the economy has found many of us in a bad place in life and I am so grateful that I have learned how to cope with the obstacles by loving the joys in life which brings peace to my soul.

Tomorrow is another day and I feel awesome changes are coming in my life.

read more

Success and happiness

Happiness . . . it isn’t one thing in particular that is universal for everyone. What makes one person happy isn’t necessarily the thing that will make another person in the same circumstance happy. It depends on our wants and needs meeting up with joy and contentment . . . and what your definition of “success” is.

Success was determining the wants and needs that results in joy and happiness for me since I spent most of my life not knowing. Now that I know, success is living my life fulfilling my wants and needs.

In the past, success was measured by the monetary value of my paycheck, yet I wondered why I didn’t feel fulfilled. My wants and needs that have a price were taken care of, but the wants and needs that made me content were not. For someone else, the determined monetary value of their paycheck may define success for them, however, success is measured by the emotion of contentment that holds much value for me.

read more

Unconditional acceptance

It is the mindset that set me free and started the healing process . . . unconditional acceptance of my life circumstances. What else can you do when life abruptly changes and you have no control over it?

You can’t make yourself crazy over things you have no control over. It is a matter of picking yourself up, accessing the situation and making the best of what life has thrown at you with the hope that tomorrow will bring the solution.

Whatever the life change, from that point on, attitude and mindset is in control. You can either go back to bed and pull the covers over your head or work toward positive change that you do have control over.

It is easier said than done, however, when one stops fighting what has happened with life circumstances and the incremental changes of a positive attitude takes over, the outlook can be a much happier one. I’m living proof . . .

read more

An emotional commitment

I’m at a good place in life, so grateful for everything I have been blessed with. Every day brings incremental changes to my life that brings me closer to the person I’m happy to look at in the mirror and pleased with the character of that reflection who smiles back at me. She is his lover and the woman of his dreams learning how to be the best person she can be.

No matter how impatient I have been at times, if I want something that is beautiful and lasting as the long and wonderful life I had with JR, I can’t settle for just having someone by my side . . . and taking the one who happens to be passing by at the time.

Love is so much more than a piece of paper or companionship . . . it is an emotional commitment and should be what dreams are made of and even more . . . enhancing the other person’s life like nothing else in life can do . . . it is the missing piece of life’s puzzle.

Who is he? The man of my dreams . . .

read more