Little Things

The little things? 

The little moments? 

They aren't little.

Jon Kabat-Zinn

When I read the above quote this morning, my thoughts immediately went to a song from my childhood that I have not heard in years, but the lyrics and melody of the song rang through my mind like a whirlwind.

The song is about little things being so important in a romantic relationship, but it applies to any relationship.

Sometimes in the midst of everyday life, we get busy and forget those little things.  I'm guilty of it like everyone else.  

It is so important to remember those little things, those little moments . . . they are what make great memories and great relationships.

Random acts of kindness show that you care.  It doesn't have to be a big thing that takes lots of time or even money.  A simple smile "just because"  can go a long way.

I have a particular soft spot in my heart for old folks.  Many times you see them alone at the grocery store, pushing their cart down the aisles, looking so sad.  I seek them out, make eye contact and smile.  The smile that is returned . . . a twinkle in their eyes that acknowledges appreciation that someone cared enough to notice them . . . it can make my day.  It was just a little thing, but it really wasn't little.

My husband makes my day every time we go somewhere and reaches out to hold my hand or gives me a kiss out of nowhere, for no reason.  Just a little thing that means so much to me.

Little things are awesome.  
They are what makes life special.

The song took me back to my childhood and wonderful memories of one of the most important people in my life . . . my nana.  It made me smile as I remembered some little things from my past that were so special.

Little Things | Bobby Goldsboro

Lyrics

Little things that you do make me glad I'm in love with you
Little things that you say make me glad that I feel this way
The way you smile, the way you hold my hand
And when I'm down you always understand
You know I love those

Little things in my ear that you say when there's no one near
Little things that you do let me know that your love is true
When we walk, you like to hold my hand
And when we talk you tell me I'm your man
You know I love those

Little things that I hear, the little things you whisper in my ear
I know there ain't nobody else like you
No one could do the little things you do-oo

Little things that you do make me glad I'm in love with you
Little things that you say make me glad that I feel this way
When we walk, you like to hold my hand
And when we talk you tell me I'm your man
You know I love those

Little things that I hear, the little things you whisper in my ear
I know there ain't nobody else like you
No one could do the little things you do-oo

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The gift of dissappointment

The gift of disappointment is to bring us into reality so we don’t get stuck in the realm of how things might have been.
Sometimes you just have to walk away!

Whenever we do something in life with an expectation of how we’d like it to turn out, we risk experiencing disappointment. When things don’t go the way we had envisioned, we may feel a range of emotions from slightly let down to depressed or even angry. We might direct our feelings inward toward ourselves, or outward toward other people or the universe in general. Whether we feel disappointed by ourselves, a friend, or life in general, disappointment is always a tough feeling to experience. Still, it is a natural part of life, and there are many ways of dealing with it when we find ourselves in its presence.

As with any feeling, disappointment has come to us for a reason, and we don’t need to fear acknowledging it or feeling it. The more we are able to accept how we are feeling and process it, the sooner we will move into new emotional territory. As we sit down to allow ourselves to feel our disappointment, we might want to write about the experience of being disappointed—the situation that preceded it, what we were hoping would happen, and what did happen. The gift of disappointment is its ability to bring us into alignment with reality so that we don’t get stuck for too long in the realm of how things might have been.

As we consider other disappointments in our life and how we have moved past them, we may even see that in some cases what happened was actually better in the long run than what we had wanted to happen. Disappointment often leaves us feeling deflated with its message that things don’t always turn out the way we want. The beauty of disappointment, though, is that it provides us a bridge to its other side where the acceptance of reality, wisdom, and the energy to begin again can be found.

Source:  Daily Om

No one is immune from disappointment.  

The fact is, I disappoint myself routinely.  Don't we all?  

To compound the gift of disappointment I give myself, great expectations from others results in further disappointment.  It can be a vicious cycle.  I end up disappointing myself for expecting too much from others.  Double whammy all the way around!  Great expectations bring on another form of disappointment fixated on someone else.

Disappointment comes in all shapes and sizes in life.

Wasted emotions that suck up energy!!

Acceptance of reality is the natural remedy.  

Easier said than done . . . I know! 

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Thank you . . . no matter what!

If the only prayer you ever say in your

entire life is thank you, it will be enough.

Meister Eckhart

It doesn't matter what you are going through

 or what your life circumstance is . . . 

it could be worse.

This too shall pass!

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Relationship with self

The most important relationship we have in our lives is with ourselves. And even though we are the only ones who are present at every moment of our lives—from birth onward—this relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate. This may be because society places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even teaching us to set aside our own needs for the needs of another. Until we know ourselves, however, we cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support our mutual growth toward our highest potential. By allowing ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can become the people with whom we want to have a relationship.

Perhaps at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, while living alone. We can now support ourselves financially, socially, and emotionally without needing a spouse for survival in any of these realms. With this freedom, we can pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners, creative cohorts, and neighbors. Once we’ve satisfied our needs and created our support system, a mate then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we’ve created and the beauty we’ve discovered within ourselves.

As we move away from tradition and fall into more natural cycles of being in the world today, we may find that there are times where being alone nourishes us and other periods in which a partnership is best for our growth. We may need to learn to create spaces to be alone within relationships. When we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we open ourselves to forge new paths and encounter uncharted territory. 

Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves, whether those relationships fall into recognizable roles or not. Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to fully explore our most important relationship—the one with our true selves.

Source: The Daily Om

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Anxiety and Tranquility

You may be plagued by anxious feelings today. If you feel overly pressured to succeed in your personal and professional spheres, you could begin retaining tension in your body. The nervous stress affecting your mind could quickly cause your muscles to grow painfully tight and inflexible. You could ease the strain in your mind and body by examining the root cause for your worries. Your expectations may be too high, or you may feel that you must live up to the expectations set forth by a boss or loved one. You may find that a simple breathing meditation, where you focus wholeheartedly on drawing in and expelling air, calms your mind and, as a result, relieves your physical tension. Your muscles will likely feel looser and more flexible today once you have dealt with the anxiety in your mind. 

Often, the simplest way to ease tension that has built up in the body is by letting go of our worries. Because our physical and mental selves are so intimately connected, what affects one often impacts the other. You can encourage well-being in your body by paying close attention to your feelings and reactions in life. When distressing thoughts rear up in your mind, engaging in activities that promote peace will prevent them from interfering with your physical health. Stress won’t have an opportunity to establish itself in your body when you use calming exercises to alleviate your mind. When you ease up on putting pressure on yourself today, your body will relax accordingly.

 Source: Daily Om

Anxiety is a normal reaction to stress, which helps one cope with a tense situation. However, anxiety can become excessive, producing irrational dread of everyday situations, making it a disabling disorder that is often misunderstood in our society.

Loved ones can be very important allies in the successful recovery of a person with an anxiety disorder. In order to ensure a successful recovery, the loved ones should be supportive, but not help perpetuate their loved one’s symptoms, be educated about the condition and not trivialize the disorder or demand improvement without understanding.

Make time for yourself, pamper yourself . . . and find ways to relax.

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Riding the merry-go-round

The carousel horse is stuck, bobbing up and down in a cycle of co-dependence. You waved frantically the first time, but after recycling regret multiple times, it’s time to get off the whirligig of wasted time. Bolt like a carousel horse gaining its freedom. Break the cycle and live like the free person you are.

Photo and Quote Source:  Soulseeds

The image of the carousel horses gaining their freedom immediately took me to the John Lennon song, Watching The Wheels.

"No longer riding on the merry-go-round 

. . . I just had to let it go."

There are times in life when we feel stuck in a rut . . . I've referred to the merry-go-round and the roller coaster that never stops many times.  Don't we all go through that at one time or another?

Sometimes it means painful changes, doing what you have to do to remain true to yourself . . . good or bad, depending on how you look at it.

I've done it many times in my life.  The latest was leaving a job that I loved so much, but it was the best thing for me.

For John Lennon, it meant leaving The Beatles and embarking on a solo career. We mourned the breakup of The Beatles, for the fans, it was a bad thing. However, it was the best thing for John Lennon personally . . . for whatever reason(s).

In retrospect, after getting off the merry-go-round, he was able to live the rest of his short life the way he wanted to.

We do have choices in life . . . problems have solutions!  Be true to yourself!

Can you relate to being stuck

 on the merry-go-round?

Watching the Wheels | Lyrics Words and Music by John Lennon
People say I'm crazy doing what I'm doing
Well they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin
When I say that I'm o.k. well they look at me kind of strange
Surely you're not happy now you no longer play the game 

People say I'm lazy dreaming my life away
Well they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me
When I tell them that I'm doing fine watching shadows on the wall
Don't you miss the big time boy you're no longer on the ball 

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go 

Ah, people asking questions lost in confusion
Well I tell them there's no problem, only solutions
Well they shake their heads and they look at me as if I've lost my mind
I tell them there's no hurry
I'm just sitting here doing time 

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go 

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Love yourself

"We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot accept and love ourselves. The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse. Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that ideal. Our image of perfection is the reason we reject ourselves the way we are, and why we don't accept others the way they are."

 -- Don Miguel Ruiz

No one is perfect . . . 

love yourself for the person you are!

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