Honesty and untruths

People grow through experience if they
meet life honestly and courageously.
This is how character is built.

(Eleanor Roosevelt)

Honesty is at the core of peace, love and happiness. Anything built upon lies, deceit and dishonesty has no strength of true substance.

It is safe to say that there are times we’ve all had to be courageous and honestly admit a mistake or disclose facts that are none too flattering. Doing the honorable thing is not always the comfortable thing to do.

No man has a good enough memory
to make a successful liar.

(Abraham Lincoln)

Lies and untruths will open up a can of worms that keep multiplying and could become overwhelming and difficult to keep up with. Then what happens when everything is tripped up in lies? The implication in Lincoln’s quote was well said.

Why bother not telling the truth? Isn’t honesty easier in the long run? Circumstances, situations, events, facts, etc. are what they are . . . why try to change it and make the attempt to keep track of all the untruths?

Living a lie is not real and leads to the opposite of peace.

Murderers, thieves and scammers have to live with themselves. I often wonder how they cope with all those negatives vibes within themselves . . . or even feel true happiness and peace of mind.

Is it possible to be human and not have a conscience?

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Agree to disagree

It is about peace and harmony in our relationships and realizing that everyone has a right to their opinion. What a boring world we would live in without differing opinions . . . boring, but more peaceful.

When we share our beliefs with others in a sincere and open manner, putting aside any hostility we may feel toward an opposing view, it may lead to opening the door to understanding differing opinions and perhaps a new way of thinking on both sides of an issue.

Rather than take on the idea that it is not a good idea to discuss politics or religion, taking the approach of “agreeing to disagree” not only opens our mind to a new way of thinking on a particular subject, but also helps us strengthen our relationships with greater understanding if the approach of gentle expressiveness is exercised among rational people.

If the discussion becomes irrational, I always take the approach of saying . . . “let’s just agree to disagree” . . . and quickly change the subject. Sometimes it is not worth it . . . but with the right approach by all individuals involved, it can be a growing experience and lead to greater peace and understanding of those with different opinions.

Opinions are one of those things that everyone has and makes us each a truly unique individual . . . share your opinions peacefully and your voice becomes louder as others will be more willing to listen . . .

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Spirit of love

You will find as you look back upon your life
that the moments when you have really lived,
are the moments when you have done things
in a spirit of love.

Henry Drummond

The essence of Valentine’s Day is love . . .
only a part of it is romance.

One of the many aspects of love and
most beautiful is giving in the spirit of love.

That is what Valentines Day means to me.

It is giving . . . not of material things necessarily.

One of my fondest memories of childhood was exchanging and sharing Valentine Cards with my schoolmates. We all came to school with our little bags of colorful “Be My Valentine” wishes . . . one of my first recollections of giving and sharing associated with love, not romance . . . that was the spirit of love.

I’ll never forget what someone did for me when JR died . . . and to this day I don’t know who did this sweet thing for me. I asked everyone I knew . . . they obviously wanted to remain anonymous. Every day without fail for the longest time, someone left freshly cut flowers at my door. 

It didn’t matter where it came from . . . it was the most awesome random act of kindness I have ever experienced. In those dark days, the flowers and what they meant to me was just about the only thing that would bring a smile to my face. That was the spirit of love . . . unselfish compassion for someone hurting, in need of a smile and knowing that someone cared.

Simple things . . . like cutting an elderly neighbor’s grass or cooking a meal for them, just because . . . most seniors are on a fixed income and little things add up monetarily.

In the spirit of love, do something nice for someone less fortunate than yourself . . . not just for Valentines Day.

Do you recollect your fondest “spirit of love” moments?

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The path of conscious awareness

The world as we know it is changing before our eyes, leaving many of us walking on shaky ground. The economic turmoil seems to have popped up and immediately resulted in the dominoes falling one after another, spiraling out of control.

Haven’t we all been touched by this economic crisis? Corporations that have been household names are either closing their doors, severely downsizing their workforce or imposing a hiring freeze, leaving the mass numbers of unemployed with nowhere to work.

Many industries are disappearing into extinction . . . who reads a newspaper or magazine anymore? Apparently less and less of us every day. Sometimes progress and new technology means pain and unforeseen consequences . . .

We have embarked on a new journey as a society and it doesn’t matter what your status in this world is, you will be affected if you haven’t been already. No matter what, as individuals, we will be changing our course of thinking and inevitably, switching paths in the not-too-distant future . . . if not already.

New paths will have to be approached with persistence and patience as some of us have entered unexplored territory that is very scary. New coping mechanisms will also have to be adopted for those times when it seems like nothing is happening . . . like sending out resumes routinely with no response as money vanishes into thin air. Where is the peace of mind? How do you keep it when you find it?

Can you imagine a new culture where a large percentage of the population is unemployed, broke, hungry, humiliated . . . totally discouraged . . . fighting to keep their sanity in a dysfunctional world? As an American, I never thought I would even have to envision that day with the farther stretch being learning how to cope with it.

My prediction is that the industry with the fastest employment growth will be pharmaceuticals . . . we are already a medicated society coping with the world as we knew it. Employment opportunities in keeping the peace . . . our local police departments will grow . . . perhaps the national guard. New opportunities will naturally evolve, even if for unpleasant reasons, like rising crime statistics.

We are on a path of a conscious awakening of what is important in life. The changes in our society calls for drastic thinking on a deeper level as to what our priorities are.

Just as the internet drastically changed business and life as we knew it before a PC in every home and office was the norm, there will be another Bill Gates-type with an intuitive endeavor or idea that will make new and innovative changes to our new reality. Back in the day we feared that computers would take over our jobs, yet new and better opportunities arose.

Perhaps it will be the beginning of a better and richer way of life. Richer in what ways? Possibly a new appreciation and gratitude . . . a conscious awakening to what is important.

Is our spoiled society strong enough to endure times of sacrifice and uncertain changes?

Do you think about what those changes will be and how they will affect life as you know it?

Keep smiling . . . if you are reading this, you are still breathing and have the gift of life.

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A new years resolution

I’m alive again with the imaginary “new beginning” that a new year brings, along with a new challenge, standing on my own two feet, no longer complacent with money in the bank to keep me a hermit . . . no longer JR’s wife living in the past as if waiting to hear the sound of his keys unlocking the door, coming home from a day at work. One of my New Year resolutions . . . put the past behind me and I made a big step toward that at the first of the year.

Time to truly live again.

Although I am still wearing the gold chain he wore, his wedding ring has joined my wedding rings in a safe place and no longer on the gold chain. I’ll never forget him and the beautiful life we shared, but he is gone and it is finally time to move on. I’m grateful every day that his presence in my life gives me hope that there are still good guys in this world and they are supposed to be difficult to find because they are like treasures.

It was one of the most emotional decisions I have made in a very long time. I thought about it as new year resolutions were on my mind, as usual in December. The difficulty was breaking a promise to JR . . . to wear the gold chain with his wedding ring around my neck until my new soulmate would take it off. At the time I told him to not even talk of such things, but he had to take off his jewelry as he settled in at the hospital emergency room which led us into that conversation.

He passed away the following morning.

In six years, I took it off once to take x-rays and that was after begging them to not make me take it off. It was an obsession and I was haunted by the fact that I briefly took it off, feeling that I would be punished for breaking the promise. Tears filled my eyes as I took off the chain.

What I didn’t realize is that the promise has haunted me . . . a reminder that I remain alone in life without a partner, waiting to fulfill the ceremonial changing of my love loyalty. It has tormented me as I have replayed that time in the emergency room when the thought of another man was the furthest thing from my mind.

He’s gone . . . never coming back . . . the emotional tie became so psychological as time has passed . . . I would catch myself playing with it, putting it on my finger . . . a nervous habit which accelerated when I quit smoking . . . too much of a symbolic tie to him. I was holding on as if my life depended on it . . . subconsciously waiting for him to come back. I had to finally let go and take it off as the new year began, fulfilling one of my new year resolutions. Now I feel completely free and at peace to move on with my life.

Perhaps I will never move on, finding love again and living happily ever after with a new soulmate, rather finding fulfillment in work, hobbies and just enjoying what life has to offer. My faith in God’s destiny for me has to do with finding peace, love and happiness with my life . . . not necessarily another soulmate.

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The Big Picture

“The most pathetic person in the world is

 the person who has sight, but no vision.”  

Helen Keller

“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest

 aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up

 and see their beauty, believe in them, and follow

 where they lead.”

Louisa May Alcott

As long as I can remember, I have been accused of being a “dreamer”. At this point in time, I consider that sentiment a high compliment. Doers must first be dreamers. I love the above quotes so much . . . they perfectly capture the essence of  "the big picture" as I see it.

Goals, aspirations and dreams are the big picture of your life . . . they are necessary to challenge the mind which moves you in the direction. I have few regrets since my motto has always been "go for it" for those things my heart desires and I’m even grateful for my failures since I can’t ask the question "what if".

The big picture is what this blog is about . . . 

living in peace, love and happiness. 

You only live once . . . whatever your heart desires, go for it!

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Fear and love . . . the great motivators

It has been said that fear and love are the basic motivating forces that drive us through the journey of life.

Fear prevents us from throwing caution to the wind, going for those things our heart desire and miss out on joys in life.

I’ve been plagued with a fear of vehicles since I have lost many friends to vehicle accidents in my lifetime, starting when I was very young. Although I have made great strides in conquering that phobia, it has kept me from enjoying many of the pleasures that life has to offer. That fear manifested itself into very anti-sociable behavior that has sometimes presented me with problems.

Fear produces a vicious cycle of behaviors that feed off of each other and motivates in a negative way.

On the other hand, the power of love makes us fearless, making a human being struck by love feel as if all possibilities in life are possible with much passion and excitement. In the movie “Titanic,” Jack felt he was the king of the world.

The lyrics of a song recorded by Celine Dion, “Have You Ever Been In Love” describe that feeling of walking on clouds, floating on air and a silly smile that nothing can wipe off of your face. That is the feeling of being in love that is magically amazing.

Here are some of those lyrics . . .

“Have you ever been in love
You could touch the moonlight
When your heart is shooting stars
You’re holding heaven in your arms
Have you ever been in love?

The time I spent waiting for something
That was heaven sent
When you find it don’t let go
I know . . .”

Have you ever been that in love with someone?

Did it make you fearless?

My answer is yes . . . and it is like magic!

If you have it . . . don’t let it go!

I'm still waiting!

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