Monday, April 30, 2012

Root out fear







The quest of the week has been to confront the fear that has consumed me on a number of levels. Sometimes circumstances throw us for a loop and no amount of positive thinking will change the impact it has on us . . . at least in those situations where it is out of our control.

Things happen in life that we don't expect and can't change . . . those are the times we just have to deal with whatever was thrown at us and keep going. I've kept going, but I am consumed with fear although deep in my heart I know everything is going to be ok.

Changes, transitions and the unknown will also do that. The "unknown" is the one thing that will put the fear of God in me. It is one reason I hate to get caught up in the "why me" syndrome because things can also be a little worse than they are. "Why me" is being human, but in my path to gratefulness it makes me feel guilty and small in the large picture of recent natural disasters.

In my quest to confront the fear, I found the following article on rooting out fear by Pastor Tim Burt. Love this article and can so relate to it! I allowed too many weeds to grow in my garden . . . in more ways than one. :)


Hosea 10:12 (NLT) “I said, 'Plant the good seeds of righteousness, and you will harvest a crop of my love. Plow up the hard ground of your hearts, for now is the time to seek the Lord, that he may come and shower righteousness upon you.”

I’m a gardener. I love to garden. My mom loved to garden when I was a boy and she would often have me split and move plants for her. I never realized at the time how much it would impact my life.

It really has impacted my life. I can see a lot of my mom’s qualities in my life. Having ten children, she had a very nurturing side to her. I’ve noticed that I have that in me. I love to watch things grow. I love to help and watch Christians grow in their faith. That is probably why I have created and head up a very large Small Group system of hundreds of groups at our church. I love to watch and help people grow in walking out their leadership abilities. That is probably why I love to teach our Leadership Development Classes and minister to the men at our monthly Manhood Breakfast. I love to watch my garden grow. That is probably why I have a very large flower garden. If you get your Fresh Manna mailed to you and you get the garden graphic at the top; that is a slice of my garden. When I am working in the garden, I am continually reminded of Bible principles that strengthen my faith.

You’ll find that in every garden, weeds that you never planted spring from the ground. Your heart and your garden are the same. Weeds – fears, worries, and evil imaginations invade your heart and mind that seem to come from nowhere. Jesus in trying to teach His disciples about how our heart and mind works used gardening and farming illustrations. Matthew 13:24-28, "The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared. "The owner's servants came to him and said, 'Sir, didn't you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?' " 'An enemy did this,' he replied.”

Satan is always trying to plant seeds of fear in our heart. It’s by design. He would rather have you have faith in his fear than faith in God’s promises. Why? Because your faith is what brings forth its crop. When you allow weed seeds of fear to grow in your mind and heart - fear, discouragement, and hopelessness is the crop you will reap. Consequently, you have to work to keep out things you do not want in there. You have to dig up what shouldn’t be there and cast it out! What does a heart with weed seeds planted in it look like? Jeremiah 17:5-6 reveals this saying, “This is what the Lord says: "Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans and turn their hearts away from the Lord. They are like stunted shrubs in the desert, with no hope for the future. They will live in the barren wilderness, on the salty flats where no one lives.”

When you plant good seeds planting them in good soil (a heart that loves and trusts God and puts faith and expectation in His promises) then you will reap a good crop. Hosea 10:12 (NLT) says, “I said, 'Plant the good seeds of righteousness, and you will harvest a crop of my love. Plow up the hard ground of your hearts, for now is the time to seek the Lord, that he may come and shower righteousness upon you.”

What does a good crop from your heart look like? Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NLT) describes it like this: ‘But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they go right on producing delicious fruit.”

My gardening reminds me what I should meditation on – on God’s promises in the spirit of faith, and what I should not allow in my heart – the circumstances that pop up daily that are weeds of fear that try to undermine my faith. I dig them out and cast them into a pile to be burned or discarded. If I keep my heart good soil, and profess and pray God’s promises over my life and others, I will see my harvest and I will become like that tree planted by the river that stays green and is not bothered by heat or long months of drought.

God’s Word is our riverbank for our roots to go down into. Remember today that the promise He promised you is this: Deut. 28:6-7 (NLT) “You will be blessed wherever you go, both in coming and in going. The Lord will conquer your enemies when they attack you. They will attack you from one direction, but they will scatter from you in seven! How is that for sinking your roots into?


In His Love,

Pastor Tim Burt

http://readfreshmanna.blogspot.com



Published by Pastor Tim Burt

Copyright© 2008 Tim Burt, All rights reserved.




"a merry heart doeth good like a medicine" Prov 17:22
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Friday, April 27, 2012

Days with tears


Catch me if I fall
I'm losing hold
I can't just carry on this way


Lyrics from the song
Faith . . . The Cure


Today was supposed to be my day of rest since I've been going like the energizer bunny.  As it turns out, it is anything but restful, instead I've got the worst case of anxiety I've had in a long time.


There are those out there in this world who are squealing with delight, I know.  Woohoo Gina is feeling miserable today . . . enjoy it while it lasts because I have faith that can move mountains.  This too shall pass.


It seems to me that as humans, we can only tolerate a certain amount of stress . . . emotional and physical . . . then we just want to shut down.  So, I'm allowing myself to shut down today and wallow in self-pity even though I know that I have everything to be happy about and there is so much suffering in this world that I almost feel guilty for feeling this way.


But I do feel this way today and I won't apologize for it.  I just need to write about it . . . it is ok to have a bad day or a bad phase.  After all, life is full of bad days and every day there are probably more people feeling like I do than bouncing off the walls with happiness.

For many reasons, I find myself questioning so many different things.  One thing for sure, life as it has been has got to change.  I've lost my focus and concentration . . . everything seems to be in chaos . . . no schedule, no routine.  I'm feeling terribly lost.

This too shall pass . . .






A hauntingly depressing song for those having a bad day and want to wallow in it . . . go ahead . . . it is normal. 

Get on with life as usual tomorrow.





Faith | The Cure
Lyrics


Catch me if I fall
I'm losing hold
I can't just carry on this way
And every time
I turn away
Lose another blind game
The idea of perfection holds me
Suddenly I see you change
Everything at once
The same
But the mountain never moves


Rape me like a child
Christened in blood
Painted like an unknown saint
There's nothing left but hope
Your voice is dead
And old
And always empty
Trust in me through closing years
Perfect moments wait
If only we could stay
Please
Say the right words
Or cry like the stone white clown
And stand forever
Lost forever in a happy crowd


No one lifts their hands
No one lifts their eyes
Justified with empty words
The party just gets better and better


I went away alone
With nothing left
But faith



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Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Be back soon



The Captain has been in the hospital recovering from surgery
and I have had limited access to the internet.  I sure do miss posting
to my blogs!

Hope to be back to blogging as soon as life returns to normal . . .
whatever that is :)



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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Messages From Beyond




The following story I found on the Guideposts website reminded me of a blog post I wrote many years ago.  I had become a widow a short time, missing the comfort I received from JR when I was feeling down or sick.  The one who was always there to wipe my tears was gone, never to return.  The best way I could describe the feeling is that my heart was not just broken, it was shattered.  


For a time, it seemed that everywhere I went, coins would show up on the ground.  After a while it felt odd!  It all made sense when I was watching Crossover, a television show . . . I forget the guy's name, but he was doing a segment of "Messages From Beyond."  


I know one of his messages was for me . . . "you keep finding coins on the ground . . . I want you to know everything is going to be alright" . . . to this day I know that JR was letting me know that he was still there watching over me to wipe my tears away.


Here is the story from Guideposts . . . 






Mysterious Ways: Calendar Message


My husband always knew how to ease my worries. After he died, I longed for his words of comfort.

By Marie Harris, Gulfport, Mississippi via Guideposts


Tears filled my eyes as I flipped over a page on my desk calendar to reveal today’s date: September 13. The first anniversary of my husband John’s death. I missed him fiercely, and the calendar’s daily inspirational messages often lifted my spirits when I was feeling particularly upset. I checked the day’s message. The page read: “Death is a new adventure in existence. No need to dread it or ignore it. Because of Christ, you can face it.”

Just the sort of thing I needed to remember. Life without John was hard on me. I’m a born worrier—John called me his ‘little worry wonk.’ I stressed over everything—public speaking obligations, the deadlines I faced in my job as a journalist, the safety of my friends and family. “Relax,” John always said. “If something is out of your control, worrying just wastes your time. You’re letting negative thoughts overwhelm you.”

I knew he was right, and I’d calm down—until I found something new to fret about. After John passed away, the grief only compounded my stress. I missed his soothing words of wisdom.

I stared at the page of the calendar. What a coincidence that this message came today, of all days, I thought.  I should save it.

I tore September 13 from the calendar and held the page in my hand. That’s when I noticed the date printed on the other side. April 19.

John’s birthday.

I turned the page over and read the message. “Destructive anxiety subtracts God from the future, faces uncertainties with no faith, tallies up the challenges of the day without entering God into the equation. Worry is the darkroom in where negatives become glossy prints.”

Exactly the words John would want his little worry wonk to hear.




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Saturday, March 3, 2012

The Greatest Gift




 "A gift given in the spirit of friendship or love can have a significance that goes beyond its financial value. A small token of great affection can sometimes be more valuable and precious in the eyes of the recipient than a costly one. It is neither the size nor the cost of a gift that matters. Rather, it is the love with which the gift was given that makes it meaningful."  
Source:  Daily Om

The most perfect gift in this world as described in the above quote is a cute little affectionate doggie to love.  It had been many years since I owned a dog . . . over ten years since my beloved Miss Betsy the sweet beagle who was more like my child died.

The Captain decided it was time to go back to the animal shelter and find a doggie to love.  So we headed to the animal shelter we adopted Mimi the cat from to look for a new furbaby.

When I first saw Kiki, I knew she was the dog I was looking for.  Another couple had picked her up first and I kept praying that they would put her down and go away.  Well, they did!!  I snatched those papers, staking my claim to her and The Captain went over to the office to get the adoption papers started.

God blessed me with one of the greatest gifts of all . . . a sweet doggie to love!







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Friday, February 24, 2012

Joy


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Friday, February 17, 2012

Only Yesterday . . .



"You were the dawn breaking the night,

the promise of morning light

filling the world surroundin' me."



I've read some sad tales about loneliness, lack of love and Valentine's Day this past week in Bloggerville.  There are people in my life who are suffering from loneliness and having a difficult time dealing with it.

The holiday only seems to heighten the awareness of loneliness in one's life.

I've been there several times in my life and found the love I was searching for each time.  My life is a testimony that it doesn't have to last forever . . . just a phase in our life if you open your heart and hold on to hope and faith.

The featured song, Only Yesterday by The Carpenters, says it all for me . . .






Only Yesterday | The Carpenters
Lyrics

After long enough of being alone,
everyone must face their share of loneliness.
In my own time nobody knew
the pain I was goin' through.
Waitin' was all my heart could do.
Hope was all I had until you came,
maybe you can't see how much you mean to me.
You were the dawn breaking the night,
the promise of morning light
filling the world surroundin' me.

When I hold you, baby, baby,
feels like maybe things will be all right.
Baby, baby, your love's made me free as a song
singin' for ever.

Only yesterday I was sad and I was lonely.
You showed me the way to leave the past
and all its tears behind me.
Tomorrow may be even brighter than today,
since I threw my sadness away only yesterday.

I have found my home here in your arms,
nowhere else on earth I'd really rather be.
Life waits for us, share it with me,
The best is about to be,
And so much is left for us to see.


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Thursday, February 9, 2012

Long nights, slow days





It is another entry from the past making me realize that sometimes the lovesick pains we go through are necessary for growth in a relationship, especially an online relationship that has gone on for a long time through the marvels of modern technology of the internet and long telephone conversations.

With a serious long distance relationship comes an unlimited amount of fear and doubt from both sides. Patience and perseverance is mandatory and not always possible, resulting in the ups and downs that make you feel as if you are going crazy.


The Captain came to me two years ago after a long distance relationship that kept us on the phone 24/7 with a bluetooth stuck to our ears.  It is funny when I think about times like the holidays, when we were both celebrating with our respective families, yet together on the phone.  I'd go out to lunch with my mom or with a friend . . . and the bluetooth stuck to my ear talking to The Captain at the same time.  Crazy times!

There is something about starting an online relationship as an awesome friendship that grows into long distance love that makes one appreciate the other person in your life when you finally come together.  It evolves through different phases, all the while getting to know and love that person.  

I can't remember exactly when I realized that he was the one I wrote about years before, inspired by a song by Cher.  



This entry was originally written on September 10, 2007

This song is for my man . . . the one I wait for, dream about . . . I feel you and our hearts beat as one . . . I see you but your face is a blur and I can't see your eyes. Who are you? Everywhere I look I see rain, that is what the song says . . . to me you are the rain, what the flowers need to grow and everything I need cause the days are slow.


The nights are long, the days slow . .. they have no meaning without you. I love you with all my heart . . . my spirit knows you, it feels you and wants you more than anything I have ever wanted before in my life. You are my everything, please come to me, reach out for my heart, touch my soul, my spirit and let me live again . . . 



A long distance relationship worked for us although it was not easy.  

We were married six months ago and I have not had any regrets!





Rain Rain | Cher
Lyrics:


Ooh Ooh Ooh

Everywhere I look I see rain. . .

Why am I here if you're there

So far away it's not fair

To be without you - like this

I miss you more than you know

The nights are long, The days slow

Without the warmth of your kiss

Wish you were back here with me

Cause out my window, All I see is

Rain, Rain in the sky

Everywhere I look my eyes see

Rain, rain fallin' down

Crying as it hits the ground

Rain, rain in my heart

Every day that we're apart

Rain, Rain

Falling rain, rain

Only rain, rain

The sun is strong when you're near

But when you're gone it disappears

Behind an ocean of blue

The telephone's not good enough

It can't reach out, it can't touch me

The way that you do

Wish you would knock at my door

Cause only you - can stop the pouring

Maybe I'll go outside

And walk beneath the clouds

Pretend it's you that's watching over me

This isn't the only thing that comes between us now

Baby soon we'll be - together


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Sunday, February 5, 2012

Love Poems






WOMAN'S LOVE POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And always be my very best friend.



MAN'S LOVE POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with

huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,

and loves to send me fishing and hunting.

This doesn't rhyme and I don't care.


Author Unknown



Seems like neither woman or

man asks for too much, huh?





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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Valuing the moment


"... the only time you ever have in which to learn anything or see anything or feel anything, or express any feeling or emotion, or respond to an event, or grow, or heal, is this moment, because this is the only moment any of us ever gets. You’re only here now; you’re only alive in this moment."
-- Jon Kabat-Zinn
Many people regularly squander their time. They live under the assumption that they'll live forever. As a result, they don't value the present as a precious opportunity that will never come again.
Others continually race against time, trying to cram too many activities into each hour, and suffering stress in the process.
In our view, we are more effective and most happy when we balance being and doing. We continually ask ourselves what’s most important to get done. And we’re learning to BE -- fully present -- when we do. We also regularly give ourselves permission to relax.

Make today really matter.
It's all you'll ever have.


"Very few of us know how much we can put into life if we use it properly, wisely, and economically. Let us economize our time -- lifetimes ebb away before we wake up, and that is why we do not realize the value of the immortal time God has given us."
-- Paramahansa Yogananda








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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Brand New Day






Turn the clock to zero, honey

I'll sell the stock,

We'll spend all the money

We're starting up a brand new day


lyrics from the song
Brand New Day by Sting


How many of you people out there

Been hurt in some kind of love affair

And how many times do you swear

that you'll never love again?




Yeah, never say never . . . especially to saying that you'll never love again . . . then you feel the words of the song . . . "I'm the rhythm in your tune, I'm the sun and you're the moon" . . . and you think OMG love is pain, is bitter and cruel, the devil in your soul . . . but on the other hand you see that "I'm the glove, you're the hand" that fits together so perfectly and you turn the clock to zero and start a brand new day despite the fact that you vowed to never feel that way again.

You have no choice over when it will hit you . . . sometimes it hits you harder than other times. It could come out of nowhere, it could build with time . . . it is such a force that when you find yourself in it you can't decide if you have been blessed or cursed. Turn the clock to zero and start a brand new day. Why not . . . you never know if this time is the right time. Fate and destiny has a way of grabbing you when you least expect it.

The song is one of my favorites . . . a happy, optimistic song about love by Sting, Brand New Day.



The mentality of being in love with love . . .
the curse of the hopeless romantic.



What is wrong with turning the clock to zero

and starting up a brand new day?


NOTHING!





Lyrics

How many of you people out there
Been hurt in some kind of love affair
And how many times do you swear that you'll never love again?
How many lonely, sleepless nights
How many lies, how many fights
And why would you want to put yourself through all that again?
"Love is pain," I hear you say
Love has a cruel and bitter way
Of paying you back for all the faith you ever had in your brain
How could it be that what you need the most
Can leave you feeling just like a ghost?
You never want to feel so sad and lost again
One day you could be looking
Through an old book in rainy weather
You see a picture of her smiling at you
When you were still together
You could be walking down the street
And who should you chance to meet
But that same old smile that you've been thinking of all day
You can turn the clock to zero, honey
I'll sell the stock, we'll spend all the money
We're starting up a brand new day
Turn the clock all the way back
I wonder if she'll take me back
I'm thinking in a brand new way
Turn the clock to zero, sister
You'll never know how much I missed her
Starting up a brand new day
Turn the clock to zero, boss
The river's wide, we'll swim across
Started up a brand new day
It could happen to you - just like it happened to me
There's simply no immunity - there's no guarantee
I say love's such a force - if you find yourself in it
And sometimes no reflection is there
Baby wait a minute, wait a minute
Wait a minute, wait a minute
Wait a minute, wait a minute
Turn the clock to zero, honey
I'll sell the stock, we'll spend all the money
We're starting up a brand new day
Turn the clock to zero, Mac
I'm begging her to take me back
I'm thinking in a brand new way
Turn the clock to zero, boss
The river's wide, we'll swim across
Started up a brand new day
Turn the clock to zero buddy
Don't wanna be no fuddy duddy
Started up a brand new day
I'm the rhythm in your tune
I'm the sun and you're the moon
I'm a bat and you're the cave
You're the beach and I'm the wave
I’m the plow and you’re the land
You're the glove and I'm the hand
I'm the train and you're the station
I'm a flagpole to your nation - yeah
Stand up all you lovers in the world
Stand up and be counted every boy and every girl
Stand up all you lovers in the world
Starting up a brand new day
I'm the present to your future
You're the wound and I’m the suture
You're the magnet to my pole
I'm the devil in your soul
You're the pupil I'm the teacher
You're the church and I'm the preacher
You're the flower I'm the rain
You're the tunnel I'm the train
Stand up all you lovers in the world
Stand up and be counted every boy and every girl
Stand up all you lovers in the world
Starting up a brand new day
You're the crop to my rotation
You're the sum of my equation
I'm the answer to your question
If you follow my suggestion
We can turn this ship around
We'll go up instead of down
You're the pan and I'm the handle
You're the flame and I'm the candle
Stand up all you lovers in the world
Stand up and be counted every boy and every girl
Stand up all you lovers in the world
We're starting up a brand new day




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