Saturday, February 5, 2011

Frying Pan Moments

~ Home | Sheryl Crow ~

Doesn't the image and
 the phrase itself conjure up
 all kinds of thoughts in your head?

We've all had those times when we have had the
 urge to literally whack someone with a frying pan.

One of my new favorite blogs, Friko's World goes into an aspect of "frying pan moments," telling the story of an occasional house guest that does a certain thing that irritates her.

It wasn't really her treasured frying pan that she pampers carefully, never using detergent on it . . . and one of her guests carelessly uses it . . . "isn't it just a frying pan?" is what probably goes through his head.  She found herself fretting over future visits . . . no doubt thinking, "oh the poor frying pan will be defiled!!!"

Her therapist now asks the question, 
"any frying pan moments?" 
during their sessions.

Before I go any further with this post, I want to urge you to treat yourself to Friko's blog . . . she is an AWESOME writer!  Check out her story!

Her "frying pan moment" deals with resentment.

Don't we all have varying types of these moments?

In my comment to her post, I mentioned my "frying pan moments" that have nothing to do with resentment, anger, violence . . . nothing like that . . . it is entirely different.  It inspired me to write this post to delve into the concept of "frying pan moments" . . .

My moments deal with a strange
type of fear . . . and maybe grief?

Regular readers of my blog know that I am a widow who has moved on with another love after many years of being suddenly single.

Those years were spent in my house like a hermit with my stuff.  Much of that stuff never got moved . . . it was to stay as it was when my husband was still here on this earth with me.  It is how I wanted it . . . couldn't even think of getting rid of his clothes . . . taking them out of the drawers and closets into boxes felt like such a betrayal to him.

Even insignificant items that I didn't care about before took on new meaning.  ALMOST EVERYTHING that surrounded me was special stuff, representing my former life that was gone, never to return.  Maybe subconsciously I thought if it wasn't moved, he would miraculously return.  

Who knows what goes through our thoughts or the rationale of it when dealing with sudden death and grief . . . faced with aloneness without your life partner.

Fast forward a few years later . . . an awesome online relationship that started on Twitter turned into something more.  It wasn't until we discussed meeting that I started to worry about all of JR's stuff and my attachment to "the way things were" . . . could I seriously move on with someone else?

It was an issue that I seriously struggled with.

My frying pan moments with The Captain teeter on the edge of hilarious.  Thank God this man has an awesome sense of humor and compassion for the loyalty I hold for my former husband and the "stuff" associated with my former life.

For Friko, it was resentment . . . for me, it was a fear of change, it was a cringing of anything being broken, misplaced . . . you get the idea.  I often wonder about the other perspective of being on the other side of a frying pan moment.

My biggest frying pan moments come with organizing and redecorating the house to reflect our new life together.  

It is sometimes like touching raw nerves . . . the feelings are not angry, resentful or anything like that.  Very strange and abnormal is what they are . . . I must say that I realize it!  It gets easier by the day, although the improvements have taken very small incremental changes.  The Captain is an awesome guy!

On the subject of another type of these moments . . . in my former life when I was an executive assistant, I worked for a married man who was a notorious ladies man.  His wife had what I would call the perfect example of a frying pan moment . . . she would stand away from the front door and whack him over the head when the drunk so-and-so walked in the door after being out cavorting all night long.  

Yes, he was worthy of that treatment, although harsh . . . I often wondered how she managed to not actually kill or seriously hurt him.  You would think he would have learned, but he didn't and continued to get whacked when he misbehaved.  They eventually divorced years later!  Surprise, surprise . . .

How about your "frying pan moments"?

Care to share?


Finger Click Saver said...

Following you via Sat. Stalk. Looking forward to your posts. Stop by my blog and visit soon...would love to follow back. Sue we have a giveaway going on :-).

ExJW33 said...

Anything to do with renovations, dust everywhere and was ulgy, so I can sympathized with the unfamiliar waves of anger while in arm's reacch of a skillet. Hello, I'm here lagging behind from the blog hop and your newest follower. Hope you come visit and follow my blog too. I like someone with your sense of humor and style to be one of my blogging friends. Thanks!

Elisabeth Hirsch said...


I'm following. ;)

Mommies Playground said...

Following from blog hop. Hope you will follow back.

Gina Alfani said...

Thanks for your comments and following my blog!

I am following everyone back except for Mommies Playground . . . your profile is private and you didn't leave me a link.

QueenB said...

Thanks for joining Good Friends Just Click- I hope you'll join us again on Tuesday!! I'm GFC following (sorry so late, my kids have been crazy sick).

The Queen of Swag said...

following you already on gfc and now following you on networked blogs. thanks so much for participating in my simple sundays blog hop.

FancieStrands said...

Thanks for following my blog via the blog hop. I know the frying pan feeling well. I would like to use it on the lady that took advantage of my creativity.

Gina Alfani said...

Thanks for your comments and follows . . . I will be joining your blog hops again :)

@FancieStrands . . . I would have the urge to whack that dirtbag woman over the head too.

Artistry-Jewelry-Studios said...

This does not qualify for the lovey-dovey hop, although that's how i found my way here! I LOVE your blog!!! Finally, a fun blog that I am sure EVERYONE can relate to! You are about to take the #1 spot on my blogroll and I can't wait to read more! Thank-you for the humor & fresh attitude! Aprilee :)

Ashley said...

Hi! Found you on Good Friends Just Click! I'm following you on GFC and would love for you to check out my blog and follow back! :)

I've got fun giveaways right now and LOTS more coming! I hope you check it out :)



A Mom's Take said...

Thanks for joining in on the Good Friends Blog Hop! I'm now following you! I have lots of great giveaways going on that end on Thursday! Be sure to stop by!

amber01sw said...

I found you on the FREE HOT SAMPLES WEDNESDAY SOCIAL BZZZ I am your newest GFC follower.If you could check out my blog and follow me back I would appreciate it. Thanks Amber

Mommy D said...

I would share some of my frying pan moments, but I don't want to implicate myself.....ahem....

Thanks for hoppin on the Mystery Post Blog Hop!

allenaim photography and design said...

This is such a great post...I have these moments all the time...mainly with my in laws and my parents. I think it is because when I was a kid, my mom was very protective of "her things" (she had her reasons...childhood issues), so it made me resentful and when she or my mil visit I feel very protective over my routines, y house, etc now that it is mine...

...I guess if none of us had issues, life would be too boring, right?

Amee said...

Hi, I followed you on google friends from I hope you follow me back. Thanks : )

Mystee said...

I'm your newest hop follower ☺
Have a wonderful weekend

KerrieLynn said...

Hi, I am a new follower who found you through the “Hoppin Weekend” Blog Hop. I love to find new blogs to follow, so I’m looking forward to following yours. If you are able, I appreciate a follow back ~ I’m still a new blogger and a growing blog is a happy blog!
Thank you!
~KerrieLynn ღೋ☙❤

Valerie @ My-2-cents said...

Hi Gina, I am your newest hop follower. I am following you on GFC, networked blogs, Twitter and blog frog. Plz check out my blog back at

Thank you. Have a great week!

Peggy said...

Its great!!
I am your newest follower from the Sat. blog hop

Gina Alfani said...

I'm so behind in responding to comments . . .

Thanks to everyone who is following my blog . . . I am following back!

@allenaim photography and design . . . you are so right and that is a great way to look at it. We can't have life being boring!!

@MommyD . . . LOL . . . a lady of mystery . . . I can imagine!!

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