As I approached the worst time of year for me in October, my prayer has continued to be feeling peace and contentment again. While October was bad, my trust in God strengthens me even if peace and contentment are barely there, but better than last year. Time does heal grief even though it moves way slow.
My heart longs for the desire to get things done that I need to do. It is coming back slowly. I've found myself automatically washing the dishes right away when preparing meals and not letting them stack up. My desire to cook is coming back, which is really good since I spend way too much money ordering meals from Door Dash.
It would make me so happy to be able to use my office again. The Captain stacked it with so many boxes that I can hardly walk in there since we moved back from my mom's house after the hurricane. Yes, it has taken me that long.
I went through a different type of grief when my mom moved to another state to live with my brother. She and I were very close and I just see her maybe twice a year now. So my desire to do major things has been gone a very long time. It is about time I get that motivation back so I can live a normal home life. I'd love to get back to making jewelry and selling stuff on Etsy and eBay.
Forward progress feels good as I regain my motivation and even feel peace and contentment at times. I've found myself finding joy in little things again and thanking God for any amount of progress.
My trust in God is strong and I know I will find that perfect peace again.
