Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Front Row Seat Relationships

~ Single Pigeon | Paul McCartney ~

"Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. 
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention. 

Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you? 

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life."

Author Unknown

My life has been blessed and cursed with various friendships and acquaintances through the years.

Some can't even be categorized as a relationship . . . they were acquaintances that were evil and vicious, harsh lessons in life that are unfortunately necessary.  One in particular was a family member.

Many of you will wonder why I feel those relationships were necessary.  For one thing, I think these relationships make us stronger and help us recognize what is good vs evil in our relationships, even at an early age.

Those who were evil and vicious to me confused me in my younger days, wondering what I did to make them act toward me in that manner.  There were times I blamed myself for doing "something" I didn't understand.  As a result, it is my belief I became a better person for it . . . a kinder person who didn't want to make someone else feel that awful feeling I experienced.

My nature was way too trusting, even as I grew into early adulthood, when I was handed the most vicious acts of evil from those I grew to trust the most.  I was crushed.  The result was trust issues in future relationships.

That is how we form the way we react to people in general, by life experience.  Unfortunately for me, it left me with a strong distrust for my fellow human beings, no matter what my intuition told me.  For various reasons, to this day, I still don't trust my intuition completely.

My close and trusted friendships are few, but strong and very special.  I'm sorry to say that most of my truest and trusted friends have passed away recently.

I've learned to leave new friendships at arm's length and slowly work my way into strengthening the relationship.  I quickly recognize the ones that will be a draining experience, negative or downright incompatible.  As harsh as it may sound, they are discarded from my life like the morning trash.

I no longer work in my former profession that I loved and cherished so much  because of office politics . . . I just can't handle it, although some of my best friends were once co-workers.

The ones that grow into close and trusted friendships are cherished like the jewels they are.  They are my front row seat relationships, of which I include many family members, but not all.  

Those who have been discarded don't even sit in the balcony . . . my theater does not have a balcony.  There is only room in my theater for my drama.

Life experience has taught me who is worthy and who is not.


Li said...

Great post - had never read that but agree that some people do need to be loved from a distance. I have a friend who is really needy and anxiety-ridden. I wouldn't want to desert her - but too much time together and I find that she just sucks the life out of me.

Gina Alfani said...

I'm glad you enjoyed the post Li.

You are a good friend to not desert her and wise to realize the friendship needs to be kept at a distance!

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