Valuing the moment

"... the only time you ever have in which to learn anything or see anything or feel anything, or express any feeling or emotion, or respond to an event, or grow, or heal, is this moment, because this is the only moment any of us ever gets. You’re only here now; you’re only alive in this moment."

-- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Many people regularly squander their time. They live under the assumption that they'll live forever. As a result, they don't value the present as a precious opportunity that will never come again.

Others continually race against time, trying to cram too many activities into each hour, and suffering stress in the process.

In our view, we are more effective and most happy when we balance being and doing. We continually ask ourselves what’s most important to get done. And we’re learning to BE -- fully present -- when we do. We also regularly give ourselves permission to relax.

Make today really matter.

It's all you'll ever have.

"Very few of us know how much we can put into life if we use it properly, wisely, and economically. Let us economize our time -- lifetimes ebb away before we wake up, and that is why we do not realize the value of the immortal time God has given us."

-- Paramahansa Yogananda

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Brand New Day

Turn the clock to zero, honey

I'll sell the stock,

We'll spend all the money

We're starting up a brand new day


lyrics from the song Brand New Day by Sting

How many of you people out there
Been hurt in some kind of love affair

And how many times do you swear

that you'll never love again?

Yeah, never say never . . . especially to saying that you'll never love again . . . then you feel the words of the song . . . "I'm the rhythm in your tune, I'm the sun and you're the moon" . . . and you think OMG love is pain, is bitter and cruel, the devil in your soul . . . but on the other hand you see that "I'm the glove, you're the hand" that fits together so perfectly and you turn the clock to zero and start a brand new day despite the fact that you vowed to never feel that way again.

You have no choice over when it will hit you . . . sometimes it hits you harder than other times. It could come out of nowhere, it could build with time . . . it is such a force that when you find yourself in it you can't decide if you have been blessed or cursed. Turn the clock to zero and start a brand new day. Why not . . . you never know if this time is the right time. Fate and destiny has a way of grabbing you when you least expect it.

The song is one of my favorites . . . a happy, optimistic song about love by Sting, Brand New Day.

The mentality of being in love with love . . . the curse of the hopeless romantic.


What is wrong with turning the clock to zero

and starting up a brand new day?


NOTHING!

Lyrics

How many of you people out there

Been hurt in some kind of love affair

And how many times do you swear that you'll never love again?

How many lonely, sleepless nights

How many lies, how many fights

And why would you want to put yourself through all that again?

"Love is pain," I hear you say

Love has a cruel and bitter way

Of paying you back for all the faith you ever had in your brain

How could it be that what you need the most

Can leave you feeling just like a ghost?

You never want to feel so sad and lost again

One day you could be looking

Through an old book in rainy weather

You see a picture of her smiling at you

When you were still together

You could be walking down the street

And who should you chance to meet

But that same old smile that you've been thinking of all day

You can turn the clock to zero, honey

I'll sell the stock, we'll spend all the money

We're starting up a brand new day

Turn the clock all the way back

I wonder if she'll take me back

I'm thinking in a brand new way

Turn the clock to zero, sister

You'll never know how much I missed her

Starting up a brand new day

Turn the clock to zero, boss

The river's wide, we'll swim across

Started up a brand new day

It could happen to you - just like it happened to me

There's simply no immunity - there's no guarantee

I say love's such a force - if you find yourself in it

And sometimes no reflection is there

Baby wait a minute, wait a minute

Wait a minute, wait a minute

Wait a minute, wait a minute

Turn the clock to zero, honey

I'll sell the stock, we'll spend all the money

We're starting up a brand new day

Turn the clock to zero, Mac

I'm begging her to take me back

I'm thinking in a brand new way

Turn the clock to zero, boss

The river's wide, we'll swim across

Started up a brand new day

Turn the clock to zero buddy

Don't wanna be no fuddy duddy

Started up a brand new day

I'm the rhythm in your tune

I'm the sun and you're the moon

I'm a bat and you're the cave

You're the beach and I'm the wave

I’m the plow and you’re the land

You're the glove and I'm the hand

I'm the train and you're the station

I'm a flagpole to your nation - yeah

Stand up all you lovers in the world

Stand up and be counted every boy and every girl

Stand up all you lovers in the world

Starting up a brand new day

I'm the present to your future

You're the wound and I’m the suture

You're the magnet to my pole

I'm the devil in your soul

You're the pupil I'm the teacher

You're the church and I'm the preacher

You're the flower I'm the rain

You're the tunnel I'm the train

Stand up all you lovers in the world

Stand up and be counted every boy and every girl

Stand up all you lovers in the world

Starting up a brand new day

You're the crop to my rotation

You're the sum of my equation

I'm the answer to your question

If you follow my suggestion

We can turn this ship around

We'll go up instead of down

You're the pan and I'm the handle

You're the flame and I'm the candle

Stand up all you lovers in the world

Stand up and be counted every boy and every girl

Stand up all you lovers in the world

We're starting up a brand new day

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Obstacles have a reason

The years that followed the death of my husband back in 2002 were mainly dark, lonely, sad, miserable and full of obstacles to happiness in all areas of my life.
My life philosophy is "everything happens for a reason" . . . even obstacles have a reason.
Sometimes in life we get stuck in present time and forget where we came from.  This morning I had a time of reflection and went back to old journal entries, those dark, lonely and mainly sad days of contemplating where my life was going.  The obstacles often overwhelmed me.
I knew that somewhere in this big world there was someone out there who was looking for me.  Somewhere a perfect man for me.
Faith is one of those things that I felt with childlike anticipation.   
Where would I be without my faith in God?  
Where would I be without the obstacles  I had to go through to feel the miracle  of faith and love?

All I know is that faith kept me going through those times of feeling the waves of overwhelm that swept over me, constantly knocking me down.  Each time I picked myself back up, I was astonishingly stronger . . . and ready for the next obstacle.
Obstacles of the past have made it easier to jump the hurdles of life's obstacles in present times.  They have a reason and a place in our life history.   
Life lessons and those obstacles . . .  they constantly prepare us for what is to come  . . . good and bad.

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Plenty of time?

He promised his son they would camp out all night, 

Get up very early before it was light, 

And go to the lake where the hungry fish bite. 

But he put off the trip for the plan wasn't right. 

After all -- he had plenty of time.

He promised his wife they would soon get away 

For a week, or a night, or just part of a day, 

To rekindle the love they had let go astray. 

But his work for the present left no time for play. 

After all -- he had plenty of time.

He promised his daughter he'd teach her to ski. 

When he bought snow equipment, she shouted with glee. 

Each year as she dreamed that the ski slopes she'd see, 

Her skis gathered dust -- on deaf ears fell her plea. 

After all -- he had plenty of time.

He vowed to his parents he'd visit them more, 

And offer his help with a much needed chore. 

They lovingly looked for his face at the door, 

And grieved when his absence went on as before. 

After all -- he had plenty of time. 

He thought that one day when his life was more slow, 

He'd find a good church where he wanted to go, 

And learn from the Bible the things he should know, 

While talent and goods on the poor he'd bestow. 

After all -- he had plenty of time.

His death came before some folks thought it was due, 

And it shocked all his family, and friends that he knew. 

So they buried him high on a hill with a view, 

To watch through the seasons as life starts anew. 

After all -- he has plenty of time.

By Betty Jo Mings

How many times do you catch yourself saying "I'll start on this or that tomorrow"?  The approach of a new year got me thinking about this since it is always a new beginning, a time of making resolutions for the future . . . a benchmark to start a new project, get healthy . . . as a society, most of us do it ritually.

The realism of lives cut short hit home again for The Captain and me in the past couple of months . . . those people in our lives whose time ran out without warning.

One, a seemingly healthy man in his early 50's got up one morning, washed his boat, came inside to take a shower, collapsed and died of a sudden heart attack.  Just like that his life was over without warning.  Most of his family members didn't even get to say goodbye . . . there wasn't enough time.  A successful man of means whose money couldn't buy him the time to enjoy the fruits of his labor.

Time . . . something we all perceive we have plenty of.

Another . . . a troubled and lost 40-something confirmed bachelor who drifted through life with a free spirit attitude, possessing a lust for life that many of us would envy.  He was a blue-collar construction worker afflicted with pains from an old injury.  His doctor prescribed all the meds he needed for pain management.  After a night of partying on Thanksgiving Eve, he peacefully passed away in his sleep as his mom cooked Thanksgiving dinner in the other room.  Drug overdose . . . he stretched the limits of mixing drugs and alcohol just like so many others do every day.  His time of pushing those limits ran out.

This post is not intended to be morbid or a downer . . . take it as an inspiration to celebrate life to the fullest every single day that you are blessed with.  

The one thing in life that is an absolute . . . 

no one escapes time running out.

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The Awakening

The journey that you are making now is most wonderful. 

It is called human life. 

This life, as you have manifested a body, a career, a dwelling
place, a mate, co-workers, experiences of workshops and
places of gathering, this experience of life is most wonderful,
because you have created it. 

You are creating it moment by moment. 

Enjoy the journey. This lifetime you will never live again.
so make the most of it. Enjoy the journey of this lifetime. 

Allow yourself to come completely truly alive
in this lifetime, to be able to speak to other ones
from the heart, not fearing that you are going to fail
or have some other tragedy befall you.

(Author unknown)

Today is the beginning of a new year . . . the turning of a calendar page that is synonymous with making resolutions and reflecting on life in general.

My focus on the new year is the celebration of life itself . . . concentrating on home and family . . . making this house an awesome home for me and my new husband.

I don't like to make resolutions . . . 

I'm making incremental lifestyle changes!

Happy New Year :)

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Desperate Times

What is happening to our society?  Perhaps it is desperate economic times?  Or do we just not care about others?

I'm watching the news and hearing reports of the bizarre behavior.  Sometimes the news sounds like a spoof of the news.  A 70-year old woman was punched in the face while doing her job at Wal-Mart, merely asking a customer to produce a receipt, which is a normal practice.  She ended up in the hospital.

Mob mentality struck the Mall of America after it was rumored that some rap stars were making an appearance at the mall.  What resulted was a stampede and general mayhem.

Black Friday just begins the holiday shopping season which used to bring out kindness in society.  Now shoppers come armed with guns and pepper spray so they can get a good deal on "stuff" . . . if all fails, just knock the weaker person down and step on them.  How sweet . . . watch out who you casually say "Merry Christmas" to, they may get offended.

What about flash mobs?   Large numbers of teenagers who have choreographed criminal behavior with great success. 

Sometimes I wonder why I enjoy online stopping as opposed to going to the mall or the local Wal-Mart . . . just watching the news today reminded me why.

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Merry Christmas

From our family to yours

Merry Christmas!

Hope your day is happy, festive

and full of love :)

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Breathing in Heaven and Earth

When we choose not to focus
On what is missing from our lives
But are grateful for the abundance
that's present,
We experience heaven on earth.

Sarah Breathnach

It was a troubling chapter in my life . . . I was so lost and desperately seeking the way to crawl out of the situation, knowing that in time I would.  Sometimes I go back to my old journals and blog posts to grasp reality and see the transitions in my life since JR died.  Those days were like a roller coaster that I could not stop . . . one day good, the next day unbearable and miserable . . . back and forth.  I had to go through it to get to where I am today.

The following post was written back in 2008.  Of course I still have bad days . . . and I've come to accept the fact that I have a condition that has been diagnosed as restlessness and anxiety.  As time goes on, I've learned how to cope when those days appear.  With the help of the wonderful man I married, I learned how to move on with life itself.  It has been quite a journey back from the depths of depression as a result of grief and drastic life changes!

One of the reasons I blog about my journey is to help others going through a life situation that seems hopeless.  Nothing is ever hopeless when you have faith that "this too shall pass" . . . it will.

The feeling of  breathing in heaven and earth is awesome . . . in good AND bad times, when you learn how to be grateful.  It is the lesson I had to learn before moving on with my life.


THIS POST WAS ORIGINALLY 

WRITTEN JUNE 2008 

The presence of faith, hope and limitless opportunities in my life is what I am most grateful for today. It is the absence of faith and hope in our lives which brings the mindset of depression, hopelessness and dread of life. The ability to regain faith within us, exhibiting the strength to blindly walk the path of opportunity, pulling oneself out of the pits of depression is the feeling of heaven on earth.

Sometimes we must go there . . . to enter the pits of depression and feel the fire . . . to be reminded of how much we have to be grateful for and realize what is missing in our life. Surprisingly, at this moment, I am grateful for feeling the heat of that fire.

To wake up with a smile on my face is a blessing . . . the hope and promise of a new day rather than the dread of having to wake up to face a living hell . . . that is the feeling of heaven on earth.

The pleasure of preparing a home cooked meal, enjoying and savoring every bite . . . rather than not having the appetite for anything or the emotional energy to put it together . . . another feeling I am so grateful for at this moment.

Living life rather than anticipating and waiting for death, pulling oneself out of the pits of depression, the feeling of standing on a steep cliff and seeing your life flash before your eyes . . . I'm so grateful for heaven on earth.

A thought occurs to me . . . as long as we are breathing there is hope and opportunity is always present, we just need to open our eyes and minds to see it. And from the immortal words of Scarlett O'Hara . . . tomorrow is another day.

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Things Aren't Always What They Seem

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the  home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guestroom. Instead the angels were given a space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem".

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the, couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field. The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel "how could you have let this happen! The first man had everything, yet you helped him," she accused. "The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let their cow die." "Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied.

"When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it. Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave her the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."

Sometimes this is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You might not know it until some time later.

Think about this:
Should you find it hard to get to sleep tonight,
just remember the homeless family who

 has no bed to lie in.

Should you find yourself stuck in traffic, don't despair.
There are people in this world for whom

 driving is an unheard-of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work,
think of the man who has been out of work

 for the last three months.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad,

 think of the person who has never known

 what it's like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend,
think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve

 hours a day, seven days a week, for -15.00

 to feed her family.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles

 away from assistance, think of the paraplegic

 who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror,
think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes

 she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering

 what is life all about, asking, "what is my purpose?,"

be thankful. There are those who didn't live long

 enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of
other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness

 or insecurities, remember, things could

 be worse--you could be them!

Source:  Unknown

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Decide Today

Decide today that you will have no regrets. And you'll free

up much time to actually get things done.

Decide today that you'll have no complaints. And your
thoughts can be focused on creative, productive pursuits.

Decide today that you'll carry no anger or resentment. And
you'll bring out the best in those around you.

Decide today to be accepting of whatever comes your way. And
you'll discover much value that would otherwise be hidden.

Decide today to be sincerely thankful for every moment. And
you'll be delighted at how beautiful and filled with
opportunity the world becomes.

Decide today to be truly alive. And joy will pour forth from
your soul. 

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Too Much Of A Good Thing . . . Not Possible!

Too much of a
 good thing is wonderful. 
(Mae West) 

In my opinion . . . no such thing as too much of a good thing!

I've entered a state of contentment, an acceptance of the way things are in my life and knowing that isn't such a bad thing after all I have been through in the past.  The Captain and I have settled into married life and I have no doubts that he is the most perfect person in this world for me.  We have everything we need, but most of all, we have each other.  This state of stability, contentment and happiness brings me peace.

Trust and faith in God also brings me peace and contentment.

 Of course any situation could be better. 
 Couldn't any of us say that? 
 Anything could be better. 

Peace comes from contentment with the status quo.


Have you ever thought of where
 your peace comes from? 

 What brings peace in your life?

May you find peace and contentment in your life, especially in this holiday season!  It can be a very lonely and sad time for so many . . . reach out to someone who is in need.

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The Wonder of Luxuries

Some people have a wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder, and even ecstasy. 

Abraham H. Maslow

For me, it has become a routine lifestyle . . . that of simple living and being grateful for what you have.  Wanting only what I absolutely need has become the mindset.  It was actually a turning point in my life . . . one that brought special meaning and appreciation for everything I am blessed with.

The lifestyle is one of survival for many . . . a lifestyle that way too many people in this world have had to adopt as we have moved into very poor economic times together with rampant unemployment.

The other night I learned how naive I have become with stuff and the necessities of life.  Honestly, I do not need the extras anymore, although I still love those luxuries of life.

It was date night with The Captain . . . we went out to eat at our favorite neighborhood buffet and decided to go to the huge mall across town.  I had forgotten how festive malls can be this time of year . . . I have not been to a mall in years.  You can't help but get that awesome feeling of Christmas.

As we went past one of those kiosks lined up in the middle of the aisle, a sales lady came to me and offered to fix my hair.  I'm always ready to be pampered!  So, she proceeded to make my very long hair that is thick and curly very soft, straight and so shiny.  I kept looking at myself in the mirror with great disbelief at how easy it was to make my hair straight with this cute little contraption.  We always want what we don't have and I have always wanted straight hair.

Before I knew it, The Captain pulled out his wallet and bought me the cute little contraption!  OMG . . . I wasn't even thinking about taking one home with me.  It is quite a pricey little thing!  What a treat!  I was like a little girl the rest of the evening.  For one thing I couldn't stop touching my silky soft hair . . . and I loved that my sweetie couldn't stop touching it either :)  I held on to that bag like someone was going to steal my little treasure from me (well, in this world, you have to be careful in reality).

When I found the above quote, I thought about those little girl feelings I had that night, so happy with my new treasure and SO excited that I can have soft straight hair whenever I want!

I'm really grateful for and appreciate my new husband :)  He's my treasured gift from God!

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