Push Back

No, it is not Monday, but it sure has been manic!
It seems like my life is a vicious cycle of stuff happening like a revolving door of "time flies while you are having fun" that doesn't seem to go away.  The fun part is my sarcastic humor.
As I was searching through my journals for positive and inspirational posts from the past when life was really horrible for me, I came across the following post.  At least it reminds me that this too shall pass.
I could have written the following post today, except that I'm not feeling none too positive these days.  The line "everyone experiences obstacles at inopportune times" especially rings true today.  There is never a good time for negative stuff that happens in life, but the stuff usually piles on to something else for us.
I've spent today trying to be positive, reading inspirational writings and making a conscious effort to laugh and find the humor in life's happenings rather than get myself upset over things that can't be controlled.  But I have to be honest . . . I'm not feeling grateful for more life lessons . . . guess it is the "bad stuff burnout."
This has got to be one of those serious, get your attention life tests because something else that is pretty important broke as we are trying to deal with a huge tree that fell on our back storage shed with a chainsaw that is now useless.  As each day goes by, the weight of the tree is smashing the aluminum shed further toward the ground.  That one side is starting to look like an accordion . . . as seen from far away.  I'm not ready to observe it closely. 
More stuff to spend too much money on.
Lots of memories and treasures are in that shed.
I'm starting to feel like this house has become a money pit!
So ready for the "greatness potential"  in the following quote to start kicking in.

The following post was originally published on June 5, 2008

When life pushes you down, push back! That's what you're here for. You're capable, you're creative, you're full of life and energy. You have what it takes to move yourself forward around any obstacle. Don't let anything stop you.

Take strength from meeting the challenges, and move ahead.The struggles you face are just what you need to fulfill your potential for greatness.

Think back over the past year. Consider the ways in which you've grown, the things you've learned, your accomplishments. Most of these probably came from overcoming some challenge or adversity which initially stood in your way.

A year from now, when you look back at today, you'll see that the problem you're so concerned with right now, was another valuable lesson waiting to be learned.

~ Ralph Marston ~

This past year has been a definite time of changes and accomplishments in my life, my thinking and the outlook for my future . . . no matter how I'm feeling today as I am picking myself back up again from the last fall.

Failure is not making the attempt to get up again.

The good news is that as I read the quote today, my positive thinking kicked in very instinctively and all of the progress I've made this past year flooded my mind. It resulted in the reassurance within my spirit that all has not been lost and everyone experiences obstacles at inopportune times.

Besides, is there EVER an opportune time for an obstacle? When it rains and pours at the same time, you have more to deal with, however, it is like killing two birds with one stone.

Today I am feeling so grateful
 for so many things . . .

1. Having the time and money to contemplate
 life before moving on to the next phase.

2. The internet and having information at my 
fingertips like the featured quote . . . those 
things that bring clarity in my 
life's ponderings.

3. Being able to forgive someone who hurt
 me and not burning that bridge.

4. A good night's sleep!!

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Laughter

Laughter is a tranquilizer with

no side effects.

Arnold Glasow

As we heal we learn to laugh at ourselves with love. We begin to see all the wonderful oddities and contradictions in people - little faults that endear others to us. We see that striving to be perfect is going far beyond the call of duty, and we discover that life does not need to be a duty, that it can be enjoyed. Life can be fun.

We were given the gift of laughter to help us survive the tribulations of living. The healing effects of laughter can't be underestimated. A laugh a day may be exactly what's needed to keep the doctor away!

Laughter is healing. I want to learn to take myself less seriously.

You grow up the day you

have your first real laugh

at yourself.

Ether Barrymore

Source unknown . . . content taken from an old journal

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Do It Anyway

Since I have had a case of the blahs and have been

 writing negative posts, I thought I would post

 something positive from Mother Theresa.

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

(Mother Teresa)

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The Turning Point

Rest periods and vacations break our work routines. They help SHIFT OUR THINKING from its habitual, stuck patterns. They create the SPACE FOR ENERGY AND CREATIVITY to flow. They give us TIME FOR REFLECTION, so we can step back and look at what's happening in our lives with greater detachment. We become more sensitive and aware.

Source:  Higher Awareness

I need to give myself a break.  

There is no one in this world who is
 more critical of me than me.

Today has been a turning point for me.  
I need something to believe in and
 I fear it is gone.  

Hope is what always keeps me hanging on.  
Where did it go?

Although retreating into a solitary cocoon

is not the answer, it is what I want
 to do at this point in time.  

Did I lose my fight today?

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Good for something?

You may be good, but what are you good for?

You've got to be good for something. 

You've got to be about some project, some task

that requires you to be humble and obedient to

the universal principles of service.

~Stephen R. Covey~

Do you ever wonder?

This week's theme is going to be change and
transformations.  I need one!

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Compassionate Conduct

You may be highly attentive to the needs of others today and thoughtful in your personal and professional relations. Strong feelings of compassion can lead you to be more considerate of the feelings of everyone you encounter. This empathetic awareness can manifest itself in your attitude and the tone of your voice, causing you to speak more gently and act more kindly. You may find that you have more patience than usual and are comfortable helping people who are in need in the various spheres of your life. As you make decisions pertaining to your future today, you will likely feel compelled to consider how your choices will affect your not only your family and friends but also your colleagues and the individuals you encounter on a day-to-day basis.

The compassion you feel can inspire you to become a kinder and more considerate individual. A harsh manner is often the result of simple thoughtlessness—we may carelessly pursue our own ends when we have not thought about those who will be affected by our decisions. When you are mindful of how the people in your life feel and conscious of how your actions contribute to their well-being, your demeanor will become more gentle. You’ll be more apt to express yourself calmly and considerately and to lend aid to all in need of your assistance. Your willingness to treat others’ concerns with the same seriousness you treat your own will demonstrate your thoughtfulness. When you allow your compassion free expression today, you will be mindful of how your words and deeds help or hinder others.

Source: The Daily OM

The above excerpt is an old horoscope

from Daily Om that can be for anyone

on any day.

Patience (or impatience) and compassion work hand in hand in the way we come across to someone else.  The choice of words used can either cut like a knife, especially if thrown around with harsh thoughtlessness or demonstrate loving concern if presented with compassion and patience.  Sometimes the same words used with a different tone or inflection make the difference between night and day as far as how we are perceived.

They are only words, as portrayed in the song, Words | The Bee Gees, but how we present them can bring everlasting smiles that will steal someone's heart or words you can't take back which leave an impression that makes another want to run away and never come back.

Love is caring about the feelings of the other person.

Choosing the behavior of compassionate

 conduct is always the best practice!

Lyrics

Words | The Bee Gees

Smile an everlasting smile
A smile could bring you near to me
Don't ever let me find you gone
'Cause that would bring a tear to me
This world has lost it's glory
Let's start a brand new story
Now my love right now there'll be
No other time and I can show you
How my love
Talk in everlasting words
And dedicate them all to me
And I will give you all my life
I'm here if you should call to me
You think that I don't even mean
A single word I say
It's only words, and words are all
I have to take your heart away
You think that I don't even mean
A single word I say
It's only words, and words are all
I have to take your heart away
It's only words, and words are all
I have to take your heart away

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Your true calling

Life ends not when you die, but when you stop believing in your true calling. Your true calling isn't something your friends, parents or lovers want you to become. Your true calling isn't living vicariously through someone else. And most certainly your true calling isn't working just to "make a living" and "get by".

Your true calling is that soft voice within you urging to be creative. Your true calling is your vision of a better life. Your true calling is your Creator whispering to you who you really are.

One day we will all breathe our last breath. The only difference between those of us who will live a fulfilled life in the flow of their true calling and those of us who don't is this: know that you are already dead, die to your fear and give up everything except what whispers to you in the quiet hours.

Follow your vision, do what makes you happy - it is your birthright to live in joy. But it is 100% your choice whether you do or not.

Say no to your fear. Live your true calling. Set sail and don't look back.

Source:  The Daily Love

That soft voice is telling me to get my craft and sewing room cleaned out and organized so I can get on with the next phase of my life!!

The incremental changes I have made since I became a widow so long ago has brought me to where I am today . . . happily remarried and retired with too much time on my hands.  

So much progress!!  Most people would be thrilled to trade places with my life circumstances.

Finding your true calling is what I routinely refer to as following your bliss or finding your authentic self.  

After a lifetime of a fulfilling career and numerous self-employment business ventures, I finally have that chance to sit back and figure out what following my bliss is all about.  

I've pretty much worked all my life to be at this place in life and I honestly don't know what to do with the time, although I am overwhelmed with so much to do.  

Confused?  It really is pretty simple!

What needs to be done will bring me to what I have perceived my true calling is . . . being creative and making money with my imagination.

One little thing gets in the way . . . overwhelm!  Too much time on my hands gives the illusion of having forever to get it done and put it off until "tomorrow" . . . procrastination, another culprit . . . they are partners in crime!

It would be so easy to just get started and do a little bit every day.  But overwhelm and procrastination has taken care of that by stacking boxes in front of the closed door to the room that needs the help.  

Where do the boxes go?  O.M.G., I'll have to clear out another area to make room for them . . . blah, blah, blah and so on and so on!

I need a professional organizer on an extremely frugal budget!!

What amazes me is how an article can attract my attention and inspire me to write about a particular subject, but once I start writing, where it goes is comical!  I've gone from true calling to overwhelm and procrastination!  

This is the way my mind works . . . sometimes a bit too fast, then I get distracted!  I make it so easy for myself to procrastinate . . .

Is it any wonder I have too much time on my hands?

Figuring out the goal . . . my true calling . . . has been the task we have worked on recently.  That was difficult enough since the goal involved both The Captain and I.  Now that is done, we are currently working toward getting there, running into my old buddy procrastination and overwhelm which is like a virtual brick wall.

Which all brings me to a recurring theme of my life and this blog . . . JUST DO IT!  
LOL . . . OK . . . I'll start tomorrow!

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Cultivating trust

Trust is something that is earned through our actions. Cultivating a sense of duty both to ourselves and to others not only allows us to act in a way that garners the respect of the people we come into contact with, but it also makes it easier for us to accomplish the things we wish. 

By being someone who can be trusted, we demonstrate that we are accountable for our own actions. Once others trust us, they will be much more receptive to our thoughts and ideas, which will help us move ahead in our professional lives. By being someone who is trusted, you will foster greater confidence in you among others today. 

Source: Daily Om

I've noticed our society in general lacks an

 attitude of being accountable for personal

and professional actions.

While working in the corporate world, I realized that no one is perfect and should not pretend to be.  What we can strive for is to do the best job that we can do, own up to mistakes made and move on.  It would amaze others when I would bring a mistake up instead of trying to cover it up before it was discovered.  That is too much trouble and reminds me of having a monkey on your back that you can't shake off.

When I briefly worked for a company who constantly promised deliveries they knew they could not deliver, I am the one who had to deal with the unpleasantness of giving the customer the bad news.  

No matter how I tried to convince management to be realistic with the customer and actually deliver before the promised date, they just didn't get it.  I could not work there . . . management's attitude toward their customers really bothered me.

They were cultivating distrust with their customers and probably the main reason they didn't last long in the marketplace.  Consumers do not appreciate being lied to . . . that is what it realistically comes down to.  They will not reward you with loyalty and continued business!

What is wrong with dealing with personal and professional situations honestly?  As far as I'm concerned, it is the best policy.

It is what it is . . . one of my favorite sayings.

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Learn from your mistakes

The following article comes from an awesome website "Unleash Your Success" . . . an excellent resource for self-help improvement (link follows article).  

It is my philosophy that mistakes are not failures, they are life lessons to learn from . . . unless the lesson is not learned time after time.

After not learning my lesson time and time again, I asked myself the question "how can I learn from my mistakes"?  When I could not come up with the answer, I did a search on my question and found the website and this awesome article . . .


Do you sometimes get annoyed with yourself when you find that you do the same mistakes (small or big ones) over and over again?

These can be simple and easy things such as helping out an acquaintance who seems always taking advantage of you? Or it can be something like giving money to a not so reliable friend.

And afterwards, you find yourself saying: “Why did I make the mistake again? I KNOW he/she would do this! He/she is doing this every time!” And you start getting mad on yourself.

Ever happened to you?

Well, you are not alone! Many people experience that in specific occasions the heart beats the mind.

So the important question here is: How can you learn from your mistakes?

Here are some quick and easy tips:

Firstly ask yourself WHY it happened again. Almost always emerges a certain pattern like: “It is difficult for me to say ‘no’ to friends.”

Secondly: once you found out the reason, do not stay there but try to find out why it is difficult for you to say no to friends. Don’t stay with the symptoms but dig a little deeper to shed a little light on the true cause.

One might be that you don’t want to lose your friend. Another could be attached to a certain believe system: “I’m not a good person when I’m not helping out others.”

Thirdly: analyse those true causes and the needs that hide behind them. Put them to the test: Do those needs prevent you from making the right decisions? Do they lead you straight to the same mistakes, over and over again?

Finally, make a decision with a strong statement: No money for this friend anymore! Or something like that. Write the statement on a piece of paper and put it where you can see it every time you pass by (mirror, fridge, you name it). This will remind you every time of your decision.

And then – the most important thing EVER: put it into action!




ACTION STEPS:

1) Ask yourself: Why did I make the same mistake?

2) Once you found the reason, dig out the true cause that hides behind it.

3) Analyse the true cause: Does this lead you to the same mistake?

4) Make a decision with a strong statement NOT to do it again.

5) Write the statement down and put it where you see it.

6) TAKE ACTION.

Source:  Unleash Your Success

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The Gift of Serenity

Serenity can be described as the state of calmness and the sensation of peacefulness.  

Day to day life experience brings disruptions to peace of mind, taking many forms that can sometimes pile up, turning composure into overwhelm.

There are ways of coping with these moments in time.  

The one that always comes to my mind is the catchphrase "Take Me Away" generated by a marketing campaign for Calgon bath and beauty products.  One of their famous commercials, as described by Wikipedia . . . 

"A woman wearing a fluffy pink robe is seen in a chaotic home scenario. As tension rises, she utters the slogan "Calgon, take me away!" The next scene shows her relaxing in a bath in a quiet room."

Take a moment to see if you can relate to this commercial from the 80's . . .

For those who have never taken the advise of the commercial . . . try it sometime, it actually works.  There was a time in my life when a hectic day at work would lead me straight to the bathroom to prepare a bubble bath, light up the incense and many candles to set an aromatic, calm mood in the dark bathroom to soothe my stressed out soul the minute I got home.  It was a nice transition from the irritations of life to the serenity of a hot bubble bath.

Lunch break diversions from a hectic day you know is going to run into overtime . . . a quick trip to a park to enjoy nature and quiet time can work wonders, making the rest of the day much more tolerable.

Then there is my favorite prayer . . . The Serenity Prayer

"God, grant me the serenity to accept 

the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference."

Know when you need to give yourself the gift of serenity . . . 

even if just closing your eyes and momentarily

taking yourself away.

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Stop Me

An old love from the past had come back into my life.  It was an unresolved issue that haunted me most of my adult life.  He had joined the military and never came back . . . well, not until many years after I became a widow.  We had a second chance for a future together when he came back into my life through Classmates.com after all those years.  

To make a long story short . . . 
I walked away after determining that we were never meant to be.  

Although I was heartbroken, my wise decision brought the closure and resolution to one of the biggest heartaches of my youth.  At the time, I didn't see my decision as one of the greatest blessings of my life.

The irony of life and holding on to hope and faith . . .

One door closes and another opens! 

The Captain came into my life shortly after my decision to just walk away from what I determined was not my destiny and I wrote the following post.  There were no expectations, The Captain and I developed an awesome friendship that eventually turned into love and forever.

I'm grateful that no one tried to STOP ME!

This post was originally  published on 2/24/09

I have always held firmly to the thought
that each one of us can do a little to
bring some portion of misery to an end.

(Albert Schweitzer)

Isn't that the truth?
Don't we sometimes perpetuate our own misery?

I've caught myself midstream into a pity party and have finally been able to pick myself up in the midst of getting to that miserable place. It is an example of what we can learn to do in order to stop that vicious cycle of misery and finally bring it to an end.

Slaying the dragon . . .
it has been one of my biggest demons

In light of recent developments in my life that seems to be another vicious cycle . . . circumstances that make me deliriously happy and feeling as though I'm walking on clouds only to make my ascent from the heavenly clouds abrupt and painful. The disappointments keep happening.

Do I turn off that part of me that thoroughly enjoys expectations of happiness after such a long period of grief and misery? Every time I'm disappointed I go back and readdress expectations in my life. Next time I am going on about how happy I am . . . STOP ME . . . it is like the kiss of death.

Must I turn off that part of me that feels joy because romantic history continues to repeat itself and I always end up more unhappy than before the joy happened? Next time I am going on about feeling joy . . . STOP ME . . . it is like the kiss of death.

I'm learning to forget about great expectations . . . and to me, that is so very sad . . . it is part of the beauty and allure of the quest for love and romance . . . and so much a part of who I am.

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Thinking outside of the box

Thinking outside the box has become somewhat of a cliché, hasn’t it? I’ve heard it used often and have wondered where the term originated from and what the true meaning is. 

For as long as I remember, it has been a saying that I am rather fond of since I perceive myself as a creative thinker and can definitely relate to the saying. 

What does it mean?

It isn’t known who was actually the first person to use the term, but after some research, I’ve found an early example of the phrase:  Aviation Week & Space Technology, July 1975: "We must step back and see if the solutions to our problems lie outside the box."

According to Wikipedia, “The term is thought to derive from management consultants in the 1970's and 1980's challenging their clients to solve the "nine dots" puzzle, whose solution requires some lateral thinking.”

No wonder I think and analyze everything to death the way I do . . . I worked for a business management professor who was also a management consultant for over 20 years . . . and raised by a family who asked the question “what if” about everything.

It occurs to me that “the box” signifies traditional ways of thinking. However, like the term “normal” . . . who is the judge of what the definition is or how either is measured?

What is “outside of the box” for me, may be “normal” for another person . . . or the other way around. It all has to do with the perception of what conceptual constraints of creative thinking are . . . thinking “inside the box” and accepting the status quo.

To me, thinking outside the box is all about creative thinking and pondering a situation in a different way, like through a different set of eyes.  Since knowing The Captain, I realize he has influenced and is changing the way I think . . . the difference being positive vs. negative thinking whether it is creative thinking or not.  The major change being perception.

Seems to me that the way we think is a learned thing whether it is inside or outside of the box, which is why there are different perspectives for different people. Throwing emotions into the situation can make it a complicated mess!

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Know What You Want?

So many days within this race I need the truth I need some grace I need the path To find my place lyrics from the song Breathe Your Name - Sixpence None The Richer The following post reflects my thoughts on "what I want" from two different phases of my life.  Here I am at a third phase! I think that our personal history determines our current wants and needs.  Speaking for myself, it can change daily, although my basic wants and needs will always stay the same. Now that I'm married and currently retired, I just want to be free from money concerns and live our lives in peace, love and happiness.  The drive for security from money no longer fits into my wants and needs at this stage of my life.  This may change tomorrow, although I really feel as though I have reached my destination. Originally posted on January 26, 2008 What a difference several months make when you have major decisions to make in your life. Since I have been moving older posts from my personal blogs to their permanent home on Blogger, I can see the progress in my thought processes and decision making as time got closer and closer to the deadline I had set for myself. The major question that needed to be answered was "What do I want?" . . . back in September, "it" was what I had before with JR. After much more realistic thinking about life in general in the times we live in, the emphasis was switched to taking care of myself financially. The more I thought about what I wanted to do to make a living and what would make me happy, for the longest time my thought processes leaned towards having the freedom of my own business as I have done for a very long time. As the decision making process progressed, I came to the realization that online sales are not what they were at one time . . . and the biggest thing that I kept putting on the back burner, my social life. With no single friends, how do I progress to the next level of my life, the social aspect, without other people to do things with? A real job was starting to look more and more attractive . . . then I started to think that instead of surviving and just being comfortable in the way I live, why not have MORE THAN ENOUGH and the security it brings . . . along with employee benefits like paid vacations, health insurance and tuition reimbursement. My thoughts started going back to a time in my life before I met JR, when my career came first since that is what brought me happiness, fulfillment and satisfaction and the way to take care of myself financially without having to depend on a man for anything. A broken heart from my long time first love did that to me . . . a disappointment that stung me so bad that I didn't want to get bit again, so I focused on my career and I was extremely happy for the first time in my life. The disappointments in love have history repeating itself in my life . . . could a happy and satisfying career be the thing to give me the fulfilling feeling that I have been missing in my life since JR died? It is the answer . . . and I'm going for it . . . yeah, I've come a long way since September . . . now I know what I want and I finally have the peace I have been looking for. Originally posted on September 24, 2007 This song is really speaking to me at this moment in time. It is about leaning on God for direction. If only he would provide us with a map to our destiny, huh? On the other hand, I've been thinking about this since a friend commented on my personal blog that the fun is getting there . . . the excitement of the journey itself. That thought makes perfect sense to me. What fun would life be if everything was clearly written and decided and the outcome known? Challenges and anticipation are an awesome part of life, so is making choices. We just have to know what we want and work toward achieving or looking for what we want. A great deal of time went toward chatting with friends this weekend, catching up with old friends and getting to know some new friends. As a result of discussions with various friends, my thoughts have drifted to love relationships and what I really want. Some of us really don't know what we want or are looking for. My generic statement is that I'm looking for what I had before. hmmmm have I ever defined "it"? It occurs to me that I spend a great deal of time entertaining aimlessly drifting thoughts, which can be a good thing . . . to let your mind go where it wants to go, letting your subconscious take over and take you where it feels your thinking needs to be for the moment. However, it is like going on a trip without a map if you really don't even know what you want to think about. Those times of feeling fragmented and scattered thoughts and losing control have a definition in my vocabulary . . . I define it as "spinning your wheels" . . . and "going in circles" . . . where nothing is accomplished. Those are the times I sit outside in my jungle paradise and listen to the birds sing and watch the squirrels freely run through the trees. "Know your needs and speak up for them clearly. A relationship is not a guessing game. Many people, men as well as women, fear stating their needs and, as a result, camouflage them. The result is disappointment at not getting what they want and anger at a partner for not having met their (unstated) needs. Closeness cannot occur without honesty. Your partner is not a mind reader." Source: Psychology Today Long before I was ready to move on to another relationship after becoming a widow, a friend asked me a question that got my "perfect man" wish list started . . . "who is your perfect man if you were to start looking for him tomorrow?" Several years later, I'm still compiling and refining that list as I'm aware of what my heart really desires. At least I have one aspect of it worked out, his general characteristics. It takes me five minutes of talking to a man to determine if we have a chance of ever getting together. I've been asked if I have a script . . . actually, I do have a mental script. It may sound arrogant, but this is honest reality . . . why waste your time with someone beating around the bush on the issues that are absolutely important to you . . . unless you are just looking for a friend to pass time with. If you get past "the scripted stuff" you are working toward an awesome friendship that could possibly lead to that someone who will rock your world and ultimately become your life partner. Now I need to define "what I had before" . . .

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