Fear and insecurity

	"LET me not pray to be sheltered from dangers but to be fearless in facing them." Rabindranath Tagore "When we love, we are courageous; and courage has nothing to do with being fearless,  it's about being willing to  experience fear, even dread,  to do what we must, without guarantee of outcome." Vanna Bonta

We seek to control our lives when we do not trust, when we do not love. Our ego, perceiving itself to be vulnerable and insecure, uses control in an effort to protect itself. At the root of our need to control, we find FEAR. It may be fear of the unknown. Fear of not coping. Fear of loss. Or possibly even fear of looking stupid. And as our efforts to control other people and events invariably fail, our fear increases. Trust, on the other hand, is a quality of the soul. While control is a tool of the mind, trust and faith are aspects of the heart. Trust comes with the deep knowing that we are spiritual beings in physical bodies. When we trust enough in life to give up our need to control, we can relax and open to the flow of energy in our lives. This brings peace of mind. 

Source - www.higherawareness.com

Fear can be paralyzing, making those things we truly desire to do become impossible.  The phobias born from fear can be defeated in the mind, where the desire can be courageous enough to battle those fears.

Anyone can do anything they set their mind to do.

 

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Courage to love

Put letting yourself be loved on your
resolution list for the coming new year


"You can never cross the ocean unless
you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."
Christopher Columbus, was a Genoese explorer whose voyages
across the Atlantic Ocean led to general European awareness
of the American continents.


"Mount the stallion of love and do not fear the path,
love's stallion knows the way exactly. With one
leap, love's horse will carry you home."
Rumi,was a 13th-century Persian poet and mystic.






Lack of courage can keep us from living a beautiful, happy life. Allowing another person to love us and returning that love has to be one of the scariest things we will ever experience.

There is a saying that I remember every time I meet someone new . . . you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before finding the prince. Ok, so maybe those aren't the exact words, but you get the point. My courage comes from being a widow after experiencing a long and happy marriage to a very sweet man . . . and still believing in fairy tales and knowing that it would happen again if I just have faith in God.

Sitting behind my keyboard has been my preferred method of finding my life partner since I don't like kissing frogs. For many, online love itself is a scary endeavor . . . for me, finding the right person in the real world through dating is frightening to the point of total avoidance.

The method does not really matter . . . what matters is having the courage to try and having faith that God will take you down the path you need to walk on. When it is finally right, it is worth all the hurt experienced running into the frogs who were never destined to be the prince.

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A gift of the heart

Letting People Know You Love Them

It’s easy to take our feelings for granted and to assume that the people we care about know how we feel about them. But while those we love are often quite cognizant of our feelings, saying "I love you" is a gift we should give to our loved ones whenever we can. Letting people know you love them is an important part of nurturing any kind of loving relationship. Few people tire of being told they are loved, and saying "I love you" can make a world of difference in someone’s life, take a relationship to a new level, or reaffirm and strengthen a steady bond. Everyone needs to hear the words "I love you." Three simple words – I - Love - You. When you declare your love for someone you admit to them that you care for them in the most significant way.

It can be difficult to express your love using words, particularly if you grew up around people that never expressed their affection verbally. But you should never be afraid to say "I love you" or worry that doing so will thrust you into a position of excessive vulnerability. It is important to share your feelings with those that matter to you. Part of the fulfillment that comes with loving someone is telling them that you love them. Besides, love exists to be expressed, not withheld.

If you love someone, let them know. Don’t be afraid of the strength of your emotions or worry that your loved one won’t feel the same way. Besides, the words "I love you" are often best said to another without expectation of a return investment. As each one of us is filled with an abundance of love, there is never any worry that you’ll run out of love if your expression of love isn’t said back to you. Saying, "I love you" is a gift of the heart sent directly via words to the heart of a recipient. Even though it may not always look that way, love from the heart is an offering that is always unconditional and given without strings attached. That is the true essence of the gift of "I love you."

Source: The Daily OM

When I finally found that man who loved me unconditionally and realized that we could share a lifetime together in peace, love and happiness, I had no problem telling him how much I loved him.

My heart had been broken waiting and waiting for the one who never came back from the military and I always blamed myself for having too much pride and not letting him know how I really felt about him. When I fell in love with JR, I was not about to lose him for the lack of him knowing how I felt because of so many regrets I was feeling about the other guy.

There are differing degrees of love . . . and they are all important . . . all of them must be expressed often and appreciated for the jewels that they are. Love is the one thing the human spirit and money can't control, but it can be nurtured for the beauty that it is.

After all this time since JR passed away, I have been given the gift of love again and I have given him the gift of my heart forever.

Merry Christmas . . . my first one in a very long time that almost feels normal . . . wishing  you were here with me.  

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Miss you . . .

Missing someone will tell you a lot about your relationship . . . if someone is away and you don’t really notice their absence or enjoy your life more . . . that definitely should speak volumes about the state of your relationship.


But if you feel a bit lost and lonely,
that should tell you something else.


Missing someone is a reminder of the important role that this person plays in your life and could also be one of the telltale signs of love. Missing someone is one of those measurements of what’s in your heart.

Do you find yourself separated from that special someone in your life today and your heart aches a bit from missing them? Just smile and know that if they are missing you too, you are very rich indeed and have something that money can’t buy!

Miss you!

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The Thrill of Romance

"When we feel anxious, excited, nervous, and thrilled, we are probably experiencing romance, not love. Romance can be a lot of fun as long as we do not try to make too much of it.

Romance may lead to love, but it may also fade without blossoming into anything more than a flirtation. If we cling to it and try to make it more, we might find ourselves pining for a fantasy, or worse, stuck in a relationship that was never meant to last."

Source: The Daily Om



Do you remember a time in your life

 when romance led to love?

Can you tell the difference?

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Self-acceptance and perfection

“We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot accept and love ourselves. The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse. Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that ideal. Our image of perfection is the reason we reject ourselves the way we are, and why we don't accept others the way they are.” 

Don Miguel Ruiz

 

“The maxim ‘Nothing but perfection’ may be spelled ‘Paralysis.’”

Winston Churchill

“After enough mirror gazing, we all develop our ‘cosmic sense of humor.’ We no longer try to be perfect, or try to get all our work done in time. We become content with whatever life brings. Just to deal with what comes up without crucifying ourselves or others is enough of a challenge.”

Paul Ferrini

Attaining self-acceptance has brought me to the place in life where I no longer beat myself up because I am not perfect. It has taken me a lifetime to realize that no matter how hard anyone tries, they will never be perfect. Having said that, it doesn't mean giving up on striving for perfection . . . it is about accepting that which is imperfect after attempting to be the best person you can be, doing the best job you can do, loving yourself and being proud of what you did accomplish. 

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses no matter who we are. Maximizing our strengths and strengthening our weaknesses through setting realistic goals and doing everything possible to attain them helps to get to the place of self-acceptance. 

What good does almost hitting a goal make if the bar is raised before we are able to get there? All that does is create the illusion of failure when we should be proud of getting close to hitting that goal.

My parents gave me an awesome foundation as a child, teaching me to always do my best . . . but they expected perfection. When it seemed like I was ready to hit a goal they had set for me, that bar would be raised and I always felt not quite "good enough" leading to a life of frustration with myself and making perfection in everything I do as the goal. Little did I know that I would never hit that goal . . . no one can.

Perfection is an awesome thing to strive for, however, when it becomes a life obsession, that is not a good thing. It only leads to self-hatred . . . something I dealt with all of my life. I have wasted so much of my life beating myself up.

Setting realistic goals is the healthy balance.

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The strength of love

The more you are motivated by love,
the more fearless and free your actions will be.

Dalai Lama


My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry;
to get my work done and try to love somebody
and have the courage to accept the love in return.

Maya Angelou

It doesn't have to be romantic love, although in my opinion, that is the strongest of all love. All forms of love are capable of providing us strength, courage, and self-confidence.

Love makes me fearless in many ways, fearful in other ways . . . somewhere in the middle is the beautiful emotion of feeling safe in his arms. That initial feeling of safety begins to tear those emotional walls down and melts my heart, making me emotionally stronger as a person.

While the rational mind will bring assurance that physically, love does not make us stronger, the euphoric feeling of romantic love turns on the confidence that with this person feeling the same emotions, we have become one strong and fearless entity.

As trust in the other person builds, that feeling of safety, strength and fearlessness can make us do things we previously thought was impossible and anything is possible. In the movie Titanic, Jack was the "king of the world" . . . of course he wasn't, but love made him feel like he was.

Nothing is more important to me than to make that person proud of my accomplishments, proud of who I am as a person who continually strives to be the best person I can be and proud I am the person he fell in love with.

Anything is possible with any person who is willing and able to do these things for themselves, however, love provides the strength and motivation to see it through. Self-love and self-esteem can also see it through . . . but that's another post . . . strengths we learn as children, finding our way in the world, trusting our parents or another authority figure we look up to as role models.

Many people find it difficult to pull together that strength and courage because of old wounds that are still healing, with trust being something that is earned and not felt merely because of love.

The fearless euphoria of romantic love can be awesome and beautiful . . . we just need the courage to accept the love in return when we find it.

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