Free to choose

"Most people do not really want freedom,

because freedom involves responsibility, and
most people are frightened of responsibility."

Sigmund Freud

In his book Nobody’s Victim, Christopher J. McCullough explains, In order to live your freedom, you must first accept reality. ‘These are the choices, and given those choices, which do I choose?’ Whether the option you select is pleasant or painful does not alter the fact that, given reality, this is your preference.

"To live your freedom, it is helpful to stop and ask yourself, ‘Why am I doing this?’ and then notice whether, given the options, you are choosing what you really want, or whether you want to choose something else.... Sometimes the exercise of freedom involves naming your poison -- all choices may lead to outcomes that are in some way painful. But the real pain is that of feeling powerless -- denying your freedom."

"Freedom is man's capacity to take a hand

in his own development. It is our capacity

to mold ourselves."

Dr. Rollo May

Source: Soul Journey

Today I'm feeling grateful for the freedom of opportunity that exists in my world.

The quote from Freud is so profound in the context
of my experience in the process of making money.

I've been an "employed person" and have also been an entrepreneur. Both require responsibility . . . however, entrepreneurship provides the reward of freedom. Although responsibility also means being able to support yourself financially and being realistic about it . . . meaning giving up "freedom" in order to have the security of a paycheck and employee benefits in these times of a fickle economy that seems to be spiraling out of control.

What about "quality of life" and
the denial of that freedom?

"Naming your poison" relates to working in a toxic environment where management is arrogant . . . so aware of unemployment rates and an unstable economy that makes a venture into entrepreneurship a very risky endeavor.

On the other hand, an economy driven by corporations on a hiring freeze makes those willing to take a risk into the freelance market an attractive alternative if you have the stomach for survival mode until you find the right niche in this fickle market.

The real pain IS feeling powerless,

but today I'm really feeling grateful

for being free to choose my poison.

read more

Happy Valentines Day

"A bell is no bell 'til you ring it,

A song is no song 'til you sing it,

And love in your heart

Wasn't put there to stay -

Love isn't love

'Til you give it away."

(Oscar Hammerstein)

We are home

By Mastin Kipp

Oh sweet lover

I have faced the fears of my darkest nights

To be with you

Oh sweet muse

I have banished the fear of your reflection

So that I may gaze deeply into you

And not look away

I know now that our sweet embrace

Is a gift we give each other

To remember who we are

Separate - but always together

And that all the while

We had walked different paths

But we always had each other in our hearts

And that we were never alone

But preparing to be together again

My whole life has been a preparation for this moment

Where our lips have met again

For the first time

And we both know that

We are home

read more

Shine Sweet Freedom

"No more runnin' down the wrong road

Dancin' to a diff'rent drum

Can't you see what's goin' on

Deep inside your heart

Always searchin' for the real thing

Livin' like it's far away

Just leave all the madness in yesterday

You're holdin' the key

When you believe it"

lyrics from the song

Sweet Freedom - Michael McDonald

The psychology of life is all a mind game and illusions
of believing in yourself and having a positive attitude.

This is an older post I am transferring from another blog that was written around a year ago. It was a time of finally understanding who I am as a person . . . and the release of warped thinking, replaced with a positive attitude at a time when everything in my life was falling apart at the seams after struggling a very long time with so many issues after JR died. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

A year later, all the pieces of the puzzle are starting to fit into place.

There is no sweet freedom like peace of mind . . .

Originally posted April 15, 2009

In past couple of years I've taken time to ask myself the questions about life, happiness, desires and write about it. In going back and studying what I wrote, the feelings and emotions vs. what was going on in my life . . . how I felt was directly affected by my perception of whatever the situation was.

At different times, the same situation affected me a different way making the difference between peace and torment.

Unrealistic expectations set yourself up to fail.

This message in this song and in what I have learned through my writing and pondering life in general . . . we all hold the key to our life. Attitude is half the battle . . . believing in yourself and thinking positively makes things happen. Or gives the illusion of things happening, if only in your mind, which is the trigger to usually make things happen.

There is a saying in one of the books I am reading "Something More" . . . "some women wait for something to change, nothing changes, so they change themselves" . . . in other words, don't sit around waiting for things to get better or for something to happen that you want to happen . . . MAKE IT HAPPEN . . . believe in yourself because you hold the key . . . keep the expectations realistic . . . no one else can do it for you.

"Reachin' out to meet the changes

Touchin' every shining star

The light of tomorrow is right where we are"

We create our own magic as we create our own hell. Of course we are driven by circumstance, but it is what we do with them that make the difference in our lives.

Michael McDonald is one of my favorite singers, one of the most soothing voices ever . . . I've seen him in concert several times at different stages of his career. Sweet Freedom has always been one of my favorite of his songs. As I was listening to my playlist of his music, the words of this song grabbed a hold of me . . . like someone grabbed me by the hair and sat me down for a serious talk.

It is believing in yourself, knowing that you possess what you need to do whatever you want to do as long as you believe you can.

No more running down the wrong road for me . . . the wrong road is negative thinking.

read more

Love . . .

"Love is a promise,

love is a souvenir,

once given never forgotten,

never let it disappear."



- John Lennon, the man, the myth, the Beatle

Real Love | John Lennon
Lyrics

All my little plans and schemes
Lost like some forgotten dream
Seems like all I really was doing
Was waiting for you

Just like little girls and boys
Playing with their little toys
Seems like all they really were doing
Was waiting for you

Don't need to be alone
No need to be alone

It's real love
It's real, yes it's real love
It's real

From this moment on I know
Exactly where my life will go
Seems that all I really was doing
Was waiting for love

Don't need to be afraid
No need to be afraid

It's real love
It's real, yes it's real love
It's real

Thought I'd been in love before,
But in my heart I wanted more
Seems like all I really was doing
Was waiting for you

Don't need to be alone
No need to be alone

It's real love
Yes it's real, yes it's real love
It's real, yes it's real love...

read more

Fear of moving on

Either you decide to stay in the shallow end

of the pool or you go out in the ocean.

Christopher Reeve

If you listen to your fears, you will die
never knowing what a great person
you might have been

Robert H. Schuller

It is close to a year since I originally wrote this post,

although it seems like a lifetime ago.

My life has come full circle and I am finally where I truly want to be.

The moral of my life experience is to NEVER give up on your dreams, aspirations and desires . . . when you least expect it, destiny will call you and everything that was foggy will be as clear as a bright sunny day.

ORIGINALLY POSTED APRIL 2009

What would you do if you weren't at all afraid?

For someone who has way too many fears, I often ask myself that question. Most of my life I've been fearless in pursuit of what strikes my fancy, however, in past years my fearless nature has been tamed to the extreme.


There seems to be an inordinate need to be "safe" . . . staying in my comfort zone prevents me from living a truly satisfying life as I once experienced with such a zest for life.


Perhaps this is all a result of the grief process . . . the extreme life changes . . . and hopefully my "normal" zest for life will return. Fear of failure has gripped my heart and soul where I once followed every dream after making the plan, I now analyze everything to death before making any significant move . . . fearful of the outcome rather than approaching the situation in my usual carefree but cautious manner.


Moments of attaining my ying/yang life balance are coming back with regularity, but leave me with that "fear of failing mentality" with as much regularity. Time heals all wounds and I see this as one of the most important areas of my life to gain control over.


The fear is like a security blanket that I have found difficult to let go of . . . why? It doesn't really keep me safe and keeps me from moving on with my life. Did I just hit on the answer? Is it a fear of moving on and letting go of life as it was? Still feeling the guilt of moving on?


Fate and destiny brings people into our lives at different times for various reasons. Someone from my past has come back into my life who I have always loved, respected, have an extreme comfort with, passion for and would trust with my life. TRUST AND LOVE . . . isn't that what my major relationship problems have been in recent past?

Why am I still not ready?

My thoughts of moving on are becoming more realistic. There is no doubt in my mind why he is back in my life . . . to cross that huge bridge in my path with me . . . it scares me.


There are times when people drift out of my life and at the time I wonder why, yet always find the answer with the passage of time. The reasons are always for my benefit whether I consciously agree or not. One door closes and another opens . . . the biggest obstacle is walking through that door. Perhaps there is a reason why . . .

Is there anything you would change about your life?

Has fear kept you from doing something you want to do?

read more

Relationships and being a "complete person"

Everything you need you already have.
You are complete right now,
you are a whole, total person,
not an apprentice person
on the way to someplace else.

Wayne Dyer

Close your eyes and imagine that everything you have and everything you are is enough. You don’t need to be better or different -- you’re great just as you are. Can you experience the peace and contentment that owning that perspective brings?

Moving into such total acceptance does not mean that we stop growing. When we can accept who we are now, we open the doors to our own inspiration to do and be even more!

Source: Higher Awareness

We all have different perceptions of being a complete person. For some, it is achieving the independence of being self-sufficient, while others do not feel "complete" without a life partner.

In my opinion, self-acceptance (what I call being "true to yourself") is the only path to achieving true contentment. Relying on another person for that contentment with yourself defeats the purpose. How can you be truly happy and content with that special person in your life without being happy with yourself first?

My journey toward finding my life partner has taken me down the rocky road where demands for changing who I am as a person became totally unacceptable, making me more determined to be who I am. Just like relying on another person to achieving "completeness" is going down the wrong path, so I changing your "authentic" self.

My philosophy has become "my authentic self will make the right person crazy good" . . . it just takes time to find the right person with the right chemistry and what was meant to be.

Trying to fit a square peg in a round hole never works . . .
making the futile attempt just ends in constant frustration for everyone involved.

Life should be about peace, love and happiness!

read more

Online love story

I love these kind of stories!!

LONDON (AFP) - A Welsh couple who met on a dating website turned out to be neighbours who had lived only a few houses apart for 17 years, a report said Wednesday.

Teacher Julie McIlroy began emailing electrician Allan Donnelly after seeing his picture on a dating website, an increasingly common way of meeting people with the rapid rise of broadband Internet access.

It was only after several weeks of online contact that the 46-year-old phoned him -- and realized they lived seven houses apart on the same street in Cardiff.

"While we were chatting I said I'd just been to the shop. He said that was the shop he always went to," she told the South Wales Echo. "When he told me he lived in (the same street), I thought it was a wind-up."

"I was stunned... He asked me over for a cup of tea, and that was that," she said, while Donnelly, 53, added: "We've got the perfect compatibility. I'm a very lucky man."

The couple are now planning to marry.

read more