Moving through Darkness

I'm living proof of
moving through darkness
described in this article!

Often it takes something major to wake us up,
to shake us loose from our ego’s grip as it
struggles to maintain an illusion of control.

In life, most of us want things to go to the places we have envisioned ourselves going. We have plans and visions, some of them divinely inspired, that we want to see through to completion. We want to be happy, successful, and healthy, all of which are perfectly natural and perfectly human. So when life takes us to places we didn’t consciously want to go, we often feel as if something has gone wrong, or we must have made a mistake somewhere along the line, or any number of other disheartening possibilities. This is just life’s way of taking us to a place we need to go for reasons that go deeper than our own ability to reason. These hard knocks and trials are designed to shed light on our unconscious workings and deepen our experience of reality.

Often it takes something major to wake us up, to shake us loose from our ego’s grip as it struggles to maintain an illusion of control. It is loss of control more than anything else that humbles us and enables us to see the big picture. It reminds us that the key to the universe lies in what we do not know, and what we do know is a small fraction of the great mystery in which we live. This awareness softens and lightens us, as we release our resistance to what is. Another gift gleaned from going to these seemingly undesirable places is that, in our response to difficulty, we can see all the patterns and unresolved emotional baggage that stand in the way of our unconditional joyfulness. Joy exists within us independently of whether things go our way or not. And when we don’t feel it, we can trust that we will find it if we are willing to surrender to the situation, moving through it as we move through our difficult feelings.

We can take our inspiration from any fairy tale that finds its central character lost in a dark wood, frightened and alone. We know that the journey through the wood provides its own kind of beauty and richness. On the other side, we will emerge transformed, lighter and brighter, braver and more confident for having moved through that darkness.

Source: Daily Om

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Choices

"Life is as we have it.
With will power, we can change its course.
Life is a series of choices.
The thoughts that we have any time are own choices.
No one can enter into our mind and
make us think in a particular way.
Similarly, our feelings are our own choice.
Whether a person is depressed or happy is his choice.
After all, life is nothing but our own
thoughts, feelings and actions."


Be true to yourself in your life choices!

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Relationship glue

Demonstrations of affection are the glue that keeps the bonds between individuals who care for one another strong. 

Many people feel uncomfortable giving voice to their feelings or engaging in displays of warmth because they are afraid to risk appearing vulnerable or silly. 

Yet when we aren’t forthright about expressing our emotions, the people we love most may not understand the depth of our adoration and thus distance themselves from us. 

Clearly articulating your feelings for others links you, heart-to-heart, in a very intimate way. You’ll naturally occupy a place in each others’ thoughts when apart and be drawn together when opportunities to meet present themselves. 

When you give your affection freely today, your relationships will flourish.

Source: The Daily Om

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Life's reflection

Our life is often a reflection of what lies within.

When we feel stressed by something outside of us, our reactions
are usually a mirror of what is happening in our minds.

It is no different with our relationships—
whatever we do, say, or even think is a reaction
based on our own inner dialogue.

Integrating our worlds through meditation, however,
allows us to connect these seemingly disparate realities,
which will calm our minds and make it easier to see just
how our meditations can influence our actions.

Using the peace of mind you find during your contemplations
to help you with your interactions today will make
every aspect of your life more serene.

Source: Daily OM

Since I had one of the most awesome weekends ever and really dreaded going back to work this morning, I thought I would put this theory into action. My morning started as many other Monday mornings do . . . instant bad mood at the sound of the annoying alarm clock and knowing I had to get up and face yet another manic Monday to begin a new week.

The Captain mentioned not having the wonderful feeling of the weekend end, but rather take it into the week . . . and I remembered the above article and decided to put the "Magnificent Monday Mentality" into action.

Today was no different than any other Monday . . . but my attitude adjustment made all the difference between a good day and an annoying, stressful day.

I ended up having an awesome day, lifting up the rest of the usual "Manic Monday" crowd at work. Perhaps at first they were thinking that I should be perceived as a client rather than an employee, but in the end, my mantra of "today is a magnificent Monday" made them smile and resulted in a very pleasant day at the looney bin.

Meditations do influence our actions and

the way we perceive the world around us.

Tonight I am enjoying a very peaceful and serene Monday night, free of the usual dread of the work week ahead of me, and the stress carried over from the "Manic Monday".

Peace, love and happiness
can be found on a Monday :)

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If I Had Wings

Since my leg is not cooperating with me and I can barely walk, I've had lots of time in the past two days to read through my old blogs and journals and amaze myself with how far I've come through the journey of turbulence in my life that nearly destroyed me.

The following post is actually two older posts originally written during different times in 2007 . . . negative, yet positive.

Many of these older posts are from my personal journals, but I post them to help others who may be going through a rough time in life. It does get better if that is what you truly desire. You are the only one who can help yourself.

I finally have my wings . . .



Originally written on
December 12, 2007

If you give me wings,

then I know I could fly,

If you give me truth,

then I swear I won’t tell you no lies

I’ll cruise through the blue of your sky

I will be free


lyrics from the song
I Will Be Free ~ Sandrine

It started yesterday and has intensified today . . . these bad feelings.

The holidays get me down every year since JR has been gone. I refer to the holidays as the lonely season now . . . I could be in a room full of people and feel more alone than if I am alone with my memories. It is an empty existence in a time that is supposed to be festive with no one special to share it with, even though every year I promise myself it is the year that I will change my attitude. Like everything else, it is a mindset, but most of us have been so steeped in tradition and the way "things are supposed to be" that when they are not, we feel like less of a person for some reason. At least I do. I just know that for another year, I'll feel better when that ball drops on New Years Eve when the proverbial slate is clean and the holidays are over.

In this not so happy time for me, I needed to post something positive
that will perhaps lift my spirits and give myself an attitude adjustment.

Originally posted to my personal blog
on October 17, 2007

There must be something in the air . . . so many of my friends are feeling down. Sometimes we have to play little tricks with our minds to pick ourselves back up and keep going. It is easier said than done and sometimes my booty hurts from falling so many times that I feel I should just stay down . . . why bother I ask myself so many times before picking myself up again . . . because I know better.

Why bother? Because we are all worth it. Look in the mirror and see the beautiful person staring back at you. If you don't like the reflection looking back at you, do something to change it to where you love it.

Music is one of my tricks to pick myself back up. This song has been so much of an inspiration to me. It reminds me of the talks I have with God, trying to make deals with him if he makes this or that happen. lol We all know it doesn't work that way, but we can make the request, can't we?

"If you give me truth, then I swear I won't tell you no lies" . . . such profound lyrics that I interpret as being finding yourself and being true to yourself . . . to me, that is what it is all about. Anything else is selling yourself short and it is not about being selfish. It is giving yourself the permission to care for yourself as much as you care for everyone else who pulls you in every direction until you feel you are backed into a corner that you can't get out of.

While I've had this amazing change of positive vibes that has lasted longer than usual on this roller coaster ride of my life, out of nowhere came waves of enormous sadness. I cried my eyes out, feeling so lonely, missing my love so much and wanting him to come back to me . . . so I wrote about it in my love blog, played a sad song and allowed myself to cry, I asked God to please give me peace, I wrote my grateful journal, made myself a cup of hot raspberry tea after a hot shower, gave myself a facial, painted my nails . . . and the sad time passed before I went to sleep.

I'm finding my ways to get past those moments because I can't let them linger . . . they will take over and that is when I get to that place, having fallen down and not wanting to get back up. I have to, no one is going to do it for me. The longer I stay down, the more difficult it is to get up.

I sincerely hope that something I said this morning
helps someone make it through the day a little easier.


The game of life

It is the only one we have.

Make it count with

peace, love and happiness.


Get your wings and have a beautiful day!

Lyrics


please give me patience to learn

please give me bridges to burn

don’t ask a thing in return

my courage is gone



don’t put your weight on me now

I’m trying to stand strong

but I’ve lost it somehow

the eagerness to get around

my courage is gone



Lord there must be a way

to get through this day



If you give me wings

then I know I could fly

If you give me truth

then I swear I won’t tell you no lies

I’ll cruise through the blue of your sky

I will be free



my vision has been compromised

awaring of these crying eyes

I’m praying for some peace of mind

my courage is gone

you said that there would be a way

to get through this day



If you give me wings

then I know I could fly

If you give me truth

then I swear I won’t tell you no lies

I’ll cruise through the blue of your sky

I will be free



I’ll be hiding no more

from your love like before

I’ll be bold I’ll be brave

I’ll be strong I’ll be safe

If you show me the way



If you give me wings

then I know I could fly

If you give me truth

then I swear I won’t tell you no lies (2x)

I’ll cruise to the blue of your sky

I will be free



I will finally be free

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It's Always Something

It's always something

Roseanne Roseannadanna

(Gilda Radner's SNL character)

The following post is from one of my
older blogs that I'm still transferring to this one.

As I was going through some old posts to transfer over, it occurred to me that my life has come full circle . . . and it is a fabulous feeling of accomplishment.

At the time of originally writing this blog post, I was just starting to find myself again after locking myself in the house, never wanting to come out . . . just waiting to die. Little by little the desire to really live again started coming back.

I'm so grateful for the years of journaling and blogging that give me so much insight into myself, understanding where I've been and guide me to the path of my future.

By the way . . . "it's always something" never changes no matter where you are in your life. There is always some little irritation of life to make us grateful for that which is awesome . . . at least that is how I try to perceive "those little somethings" now. 

Originally posted October 8, 2007

Just another day in paradise . . . at least I'm feeling better than I did last night, but not well enough for a job interview . . . I should have known better than to even think about doing that today. My bills are covered and I just need to try to keep myself from drowning and feeling like a part of the human race. So that is my quest for today . . . to pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again.

For some reason this morning I was thinking about Gilda Radner's saying as the character on Saturday Night Live, Roseanne Roseannadanna, "It's Always Something."   Isn't it the truth? It is just how we handle that "something" that makes the difference. 

I've seen the changes in me from one year to the next in how I have handled this day . . . to me this is the biggest grief trigger day . . . the "death anniversary". Many of you who are walking in my shoes have mentioned the trigger days . . . and there are many. This is the big one for me.

In some ways I am still in a state of shock over the death of my husband, although I have addressed and readdressed the phase of "acceptance" . . . it is not just losing the most important person in your life . . . it is also the loss of a lifestyle . . . the loss of status quo . . . from that moment on, everything in my life was different . . . everything. 

Through time, little things would come up, almost on a daily basis for a while and it seemed like the constant thing on my mind was "it's always something . . . when will the nightmare end?"

Phases . . . I've been through more than a few. Although the nightmare has not ended for me, I can handle things so much better now. I've walked through that fire and have lived to tell the tale. It is not a manic tale anymore . . . it is life and crap we have to go through that we don't like. We all have our crosses to bear at one time or another. Not one of us will go through this life without a hardship or heartbreak of one kind or another. When I start to feeling bad about my life, I look around and see struggles around me that are much more intense than mine . . . and I'm grateful for what I have been blessed with.

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Follow your dreams

"The only place where your dream becomes
impossible is in your own thinking."

Robert H. Schuller

Like the elephant, we are unconscious of our own strength.

When it comes to understanding the power we have to
make a difference in our own lives, we might as well be asleep.

If you want to make your dreams come true, wake up.

Wake up to your own strength.

Wake up to the role you play in your own destiny.

Wake up to the power you have to choose
what you think, do, and say.

Keith Ellis, from the book, Bootstraps

Never give up your dreams!

Follow That Dream | Elvis Presley

Lyrics

(Words & music by Fred Wise - Ben Weisman)

Follow that dream, I gotta follow that dream
Keep a-movin, move along, keep a moving
I've got to follow that dream wherever that dream may lead
I've got to follow that dream to find the love I need

When your heart gets restless, time to move along
When your heart gets weary, time to sing a song
But when a dream is calling you,
There's just one thing that you can do

Well, you gotta follow that dream wherever that dream may lead
You gotta follow that dream to find the love you need

Keep a-movin, move along, keep a moving

Got to find me someone whose heart is free
Someone to look for my dream with me
And when I find her I may find out
Just what my dreams are all about

I've got to follow that dream wherever that dream may lead
I've got to follow that dream to find the love I need

I've got to follow that dream wherever that dream may lead
I've got to follow that dream to find the love I need

Keep a-movin, move along
Keep a-movin, move along
Keep a-movin, move along

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