Comfort Zones

A soft place to land is the term used by The Daily Om, describing the comfort zone as the place to "provide us with a safe and comforting refuge in which we can decompress and recover from the day’s stresses."

My little piece of paradise in Florida is my comfort zone . . . outdoor spaces for me are therapeutic.  Our outdoor dining area provides that comfy, cozy spot to unwind, de-stress, take a timeout . . . or just relax.

I've always found that gazing at the sky provides that comforting feeling. There is something about watching the clouds pass by, observing the sun dissolve into the horizon, admiring a full moon with all its magic and twinkling stars on a clear night or experiencing night transforming into day.

My "Happy Place" is in the arms of The Captain, where I feel loved and safe from everything.  It reminds me of the saying "home is where the heart is."

Comfort zones change as our life circumstances change . . .

When I first became a widow, my comfy bedroom recliner in the candlelit room with music playing in the background was my comfort zone, where I could grieve, come to terms with the swift manner in which my life had changed and figure out how to deal with it.

In my working days, the outdoors was my "escape" . . . away from the job stresses and office politics.  As time went on, that comfort zone made it tolerable to stay at the job and not go completely insane.

A bad habit I'm happy to say I've conquered is finding the comfort zone in a rum and coke or a bottle of wine . . . not a happy place!

It is important to know when to retreat to the comfort zone to momentarily shift from the outside world back to the needs of our inner self.

What are some of your comfort zones?

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Happy Veterans Day

In Flanders field the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

~Major John McCrae, May 1915~

 

  The poem "In Flanders Fields" was written by a Canadian Doctor, while looking out over a field of graves.   Some of the bloodiest battles of World War I took place in the areas of northern France and southwest Belgium known as Flanders and Picardy.  Red poppies grew on the graves of dead soldiers in the fields of northern Europe.  Poppy seeds will lie underground for years and bloom if they are plowed up.  The tradition of honoring our dead by wearing Poppies spread from England to Canada and the U.S.  

We still wear red paper Poppies today to honor our fallen heroes.

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Just Do It

"You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

"If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it."

Olin Miller

 

"Putting off an easy thing makes it hard. Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible."

George Claude Lorimer

"Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task"

William James

Taking the first step was very difficult!

We got the hardest thing done first . . . moving the large pieces of furniture in the living room.

I've written about my problem with procrastination many times.  It is like a curse that plagues me.  Actually, it is pure and simple overwhelm.  We just sat down and talked about the big picture of what we want to accomplish . . . then broke it down into the task that we would make the biggest leap into getting it going.

The plan was made to start the next day . . . just the one task . . . and how to tackle it with the promise to each other that we would JUST DO IT and not put it off any longer.

Even though it was a small step to the big picture, the good news is that it has started the forward motion of consistently working on it every day.  Accomplishment feels good and calls for more as improvement is made.  Fall cleaning and rearranging the house continues!

Getting things done is a great feeling!

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Great expectations

In an older post, 
I defined great expectations
 as going beyond hope and faith.


Often faith is described as seeing the outcome before it happens.  I felt it, I knew it.  I just didn't know what "it" was.  My hope was to be happy again.  Some people are meant to share their lives with a significant other.  I am one of them . . . definitely miserable living alone and grieving my loss way too long.

The gift in my greatest expectations was to find true love again.  Little did I know . . . be careful what you wish for!  As I experienced the most unusual and entertaining journey of my life, through the good and the bad aspects of it all, I can honestly say that I enjoyed every moment of falling in love again.  

The one single thing that I remember in that time before I encountered The Captain is that I felt as though something wonderful was about to happen in my life.  I just knew.  God put a peace in my heart that surpassed all understanding and logic.

The following post describes the emotions of anticipation and great expectations as it relates to faith and hope . . . and "it."

My fuzzy dreams became a reality.  

"It" was to love and be loved again.

The Captain has been one of the
 greatest gifts in my life . . . friendship
that turns into love.

I'm still enjoying the moment :)


Never lose faith and hope, even in your darkest days.

Look for the light at the end of the tunnel.

It is there.

Originally posted March 2009

Out of the darkest despair of blue days came sunshine and rainbows, expectations and plans running through my mind repeatedly like a child on Christmas Eve being so excited anticipating Santa’s visit and what gifts he may bring.

The expectations are more like fuzzy dreams and what I’m feeling is the anticipation of what is to come with the faith that it is everything I need . . . that is all I want.

All of these fabulous emotions have brought me a peace and calmness that has allowed me restful sleep and a definite routine. As a result, the anxiety and restless feelings are under control and what is left goes beyond faith and hope . . . great expectations.

A slight shift in my thinking has made such a difference for me by putting a positive emphasis on enjoying the journey rather than constantly anticipating the destination.

Just as the excitement on Christmas Eve anticipating the gifts, once the gifts are open, where is the excitement of anticipation? The anticipation is what brings the most joy . . . at least it does for me.

The balance of the outcome, what I call the “ying/yang thing” is accepting the gifts, relax and enjoy them . . . experience and love the joy of the moment.

Living in the moment and anticipating unexpected changes in life as a new and exciting journey has been making a big difference in my life.

Has faith and hope ever given you

those kind of great expectations

 that surpasses understanding?

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Finding the key

"So often time it happens,

 we all live our life in chains,

 and we never even know

 we have the key."

The Eagles, lyrics from the song

"Already Gone"

The possibilities are endless when the realization hits that we hold the key to that ball and chain many of us attach ourselves to.  

Lack of self-esteem and self-confidence is an example of what could be seen as a ball and chain.  Some people confuse the ball and chain as depression . . . it is a fine line.

Life circumstances can get someone to that point and play tricks on the mind.  The thought process turns negative and everything looks impossible.  

However, nothing is impossible when we know we have that key.

In the darkest days of my life, learning how to be grateful for the simplest of things helped me realize so much and put everything into perspective.  Gratefulness was my key.

Do you know what yours is?

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The foundation of a great relationship

Love is not enough.

It must be the foundation.

The beginning and the end.

Everything or nothing.

And nothing without truth.

Author unknown

I want to take a part of the storyline from one of my favorite movies, "The Wedding Singer" to illustrate what I want to talk about . . . Trust, loyalty, respect in a relationship. Although I am speaking romantically, it also pertains to all types of relationships in life.

It is how we should treat any other fellow human being, no matter how much money they have, where they are born, what color their skin is, or what they do for a living.

RESPECT

A quick synopsis of the movie

The time is the mid 80’s . . . Robbie Hart is a wannabe rock-star, but in reality, he is New Jersey’s favorite wedding singer . . . the life of the party, that is, until his own fiancée leaves him at the altar. 
Heartbroken and dejected, Robbie can’t help but make every wedding he plays a disaster. Along comes Julia, a waitress who wins his affection. Problem . . . Julia is about to be married to a Wall Street shark. Robbie must pull off the performance of his life or the girl of his dreams will marry the shark who is all wrong for her.

Julia’s fiance was a cool guy with the good job, has money, dresses nice, drives an awesome car, he’s drop dead gorgeous and . . . oh yeah, he is already cheating on Julia before they are even married just because he can.

She feels it, she knows it . . . she’s not madly in love with him . . . so really, what difference does it make? He’ll give her a comfortable life.

But wait!

Isn’t that what is wrong with this world? We settle for what is going to be tolerable and comfortable, but not what is going to make us deliriously happy to want to jump out of bed everyday to a beautiful new day because we are so in love and so happy with our life?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH WAITING FOR THAT?

Why is does it seem that everything
is all about the money?

But I digress . . . I wanted to talk about honesty in a relationship. Why can’t people be honest anymore? Why is there always a hidden agenda of some kind? Don’t people want to simply be happy anymore? Is happiness, respect and decency coming second to whatever else is more important?

I don’t understand . . .
what could be more important than that?

And what about living a lie? Don’t people have a conscience that they can tell a lie so easily and be so dishonest? Don’t they have a problem looking at themselves in the mirror and looking at someone who is actually betraying themselves by telling lies? 

We answer to God and he knows . . .

Maybe that is why JR and I had such a great marriage.  We were totally honest with each other . . . sometimes I wondered if it was such a good idea to be so honest, but in the long run, it was the good thing to do. We had total respect for each other as individuals, as two human beings living sharing our time together on earth in peace and harmony, respecting each other and doing the best we could to make the other happy.

The Captain and I have both brought emotional baggage to our new marriage.  However, past lessons can make our present lives so much happier.   Working through all the little things that two people encounter with total honesty when they first come together is so very important in building the foundation for an awesome relationship.

The good thing about second marriages . . . you know what NOT to do.  

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Great love, wishes and miracles

What a beautiful quote by Willa Cather!

Another version of this quote replaces wishes with miracles.

I'm not sure which one is the correct quote.

As I came across the quote, I pondered the meaning although I have run across it many times through the years and never gave it a thought.

My first interpretation was "with love comes faith."

My second interpretation was "is love enough?"

"Enough for what?"

Perhaps Willa was conveying the message that even the greatest love does not bring happiness, but we can always hope for a miracle?  Or was she conveying another message about being patient with love?

Could it be that she had a great love for someone who did not return the same degree of love, but she could wish for her desires?

There is a popular quote that has been used in song lyrics through the years . . . 

"love can move mountains."

Could we interpret the meaning of the Willa's quote to mean the same thing?

Sometimes I analyze and think too much!

The quote just got me to thinking about what her thoughts and feelings were when she wrote it . . . and what was going on in her life at the time.  Love and how it affects us fascinates me!

What is your interpretation

 of the quote?

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