Compassionate Conduct

You may be highly attentive to the needs of others today and thoughtful in your personal and professional relations. Strong feelings of compassion can lead you to be more considerate of the feelings of everyone you encounter. This empathetic awareness can manifest itself in your attitude and the tone of your voice, causing you to speak more gently and act more kindly. You may find that you have more patience than usual and are comfortable helping people who are in need in the various spheres of your life. As you make decisions pertaining to your future today, you will likely feel compelled to consider how your choices will affect your not only your family and friends but also your colleagues and the individuals you encounter on a day-to-day basis.

The compassion you feel can inspire you to become a kinder and more considerate individual. A harsh manner is often the result of simple thoughtlessness—we may carelessly pursue our own ends when we have not thought about those who will be affected by our decisions. When you are mindful of how the people in your life feel and conscious of how your actions contribute to their well-being, your demeanor will become more gentle. You’ll be more apt to express yourself calmly and considerately and to lend aid to all in need of your assistance. Your willingness to treat others’ concerns with the same seriousness you treat your own will demonstrate your thoughtfulness. When you allow your compassion free expression today, you will be mindful of how your words and deeds help or hinder others.

Source: The Daily OM

The above excerpt is an old horoscope

from Daily Om that can be for anyone

on any day.

Patience (or impatience) and compassion work hand in hand in the way we come across to someone else.  The choice of words used can either cut like a knife, especially if thrown around with harsh thoughtlessness or demonstrate loving concern if presented with compassion and patience.  Sometimes the same words used with a different tone or inflection make the difference between night and day as far as how we are perceived.

They are only words, as portrayed in the song, Words | The Bee Gees, but how we present them can bring everlasting smiles that will steal someone's heart or words you can't take back which leave an impression that makes another want to run away and never come back.

Love is caring about the feelings of the other person.

Choosing the behavior of compassionate

 conduct is always the best practice!

Lyrics

Words | The Bee Gees

Smile an everlasting smile
A smile could bring you near to me
Don't ever let me find you gone
'Cause that would bring a tear to me
This world has lost it's glory
Let's start a brand new story
Now my love right now there'll be
No other time and I can show you
How my love
Talk in everlasting words
And dedicate them all to me
And I will give you all my life
I'm here if you should call to me
You think that I don't even mean
A single word I say
It's only words, and words are all
I have to take your heart away
You think that I don't even mean
A single word I say
It's only words, and words are all
I have to take your heart away
It's only words, and words are all
I have to take your heart away

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Your true calling

Life ends not when you die, but when you stop believing in your true calling. Your true calling isn't something your friends, parents or lovers want you to become. Your true calling isn't living vicariously through someone else. And most certainly your true calling isn't working just to "make a living" and "get by".

Your true calling is that soft voice within you urging to be creative. Your true calling is your vision of a better life. Your true calling is your Creator whispering to you who you really are.

One day we will all breathe our last breath. The only difference between those of us who will live a fulfilled life in the flow of their true calling and those of us who don't is this: know that you are already dead, die to your fear and give up everything except what whispers to you in the quiet hours.

Follow your vision, do what makes you happy - it is your birthright to live in joy. But it is 100% your choice whether you do or not.

Say no to your fear. Live your true calling. Set sail and don't look back.

Source:  The Daily Love

That soft voice is telling me to get my craft and sewing room cleaned out and organized so I can get on with the next phase of my life!!

The incremental changes I have made since I became a widow so long ago has brought me to where I am today . . . happily remarried and retired with too much time on my hands.  

So much progress!!  Most people would be thrilled to trade places with my life circumstances.

Finding your true calling is what I routinely refer to as following your bliss or finding your authentic self.  

After a lifetime of a fulfilling career and numerous self-employment business ventures, I finally have that chance to sit back and figure out what following my bliss is all about.  

I've pretty much worked all my life to be at this place in life and I honestly don't know what to do with the time, although I am overwhelmed with so much to do.  

Confused?  It really is pretty simple!

What needs to be done will bring me to what I have perceived my true calling is . . . being creative and making money with my imagination.

One little thing gets in the way . . . overwhelm!  Too much time on my hands gives the illusion of having forever to get it done and put it off until "tomorrow" . . . procrastination, another culprit . . . they are partners in crime!

It would be so easy to just get started and do a little bit every day.  But overwhelm and procrastination has taken care of that by stacking boxes in front of the closed door to the room that needs the help.  

Where do the boxes go?  O.M.G., I'll have to clear out another area to make room for them . . . blah, blah, blah and so on and so on!

I need a professional organizer on an extremely frugal budget!!

What amazes me is how an article can attract my attention and inspire me to write about a particular subject, but once I start writing, where it goes is comical!  I've gone from true calling to overwhelm and procrastination!  

This is the way my mind works . . . sometimes a bit too fast, then I get distracted!  I make it so easy for myself to procrastinate . . .

Is it any wonder I have too much time on my hands?

Figuring out the goal . . . my true calling . . . has been the task we have worked on recently.  That was difficult enough since the goal involved both The Captain and I.  Now that is done, we are currently working toward getting there, running into my old buddy procrastination and overwhelm which is like a virtual brick wall.

Which all brings me to a recurring theme of my life and this blog . . . JUST DO IT!  
LOL . . . OK . . . I'll start tomorrow!

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Cultivating trust

Trust is something that is earned through our actions. Cultivating a sense of duty both to ourselves and to others not only allows us to act in a way that garners the respect of the people we come into contact with, but it also makes it easier for us to accomplish the things we wish. 

By being someone who can be trusted, we demonstrate that we are accountable for our own actions. Once others trust us, they will be much more receptive to our thoughts and ideas, which will help us move ahead in our professional lives. By being someone who is trusted, you will foster greater confidence in you among others today. 

Source: Daily Om

I've noticed our society in general lacks an

 attitude of being accountable for personal

and professional actions.

While working in the corporate world, I realized that no one is perfect and should not pretend to be.  What we can strive for is to do the best job that we can do, own up to mistakes made and move on.  It would amaze others when I would bring a mistake up instead of trying to cover it up before it was discovered.  That is too much trouble and reminds me of having a monkey on your back that you can't shake off.

When I briefly worked for a company who constantly promised deliveries they knew they could not deliver, I am the one who had to deal with the unpleasantness of giving the customer the bad news.  

No matter how I tried to convince management to be realistic with the customer and actually deliver before the promised date, they just didn't get it.  I could not work there . . . management's attitude toward their customers really bothered me.

They were cultivating distrust with their customers and probably the main reason they didn't last long in the marketplace.  Consumers do not appreciate being lied to . . . that is what it realistically comes down to.  They will not reward you with loyalty and continued business!

What is wrong with dealing with personal and professional situations honestly?  As far as I'm concerned, it is the best policy.

It is what it is . . . one of my favorite sayings.

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Learn from your mistakes

The following article comes from an awesome website "Unleash Your Success" . . . an excellent resource for self-help improvement (link follows article).  

It is my philosophy that mistakes are not failures, they are life lessons to learn from . . . unless the lesson is not learned time after time.

After not learning my lesson time and time again, I asked myself the question "how can I learn from my mistakes"?  When I could not come up with the answer, I did a search on my question and found the website and this awesome article . . .


Do you sometimes get annoyed with yourself when you find that you do the same mistakes (small or big ones) over and over again?

These can be simple and easy things such as helping out an acquaintance who seems always taking advantage of you? Or it can be something like giving money to a not so reliable friend.

And afterwards, you find yourself saying: “Why did I make the mistake again? I KNOW he/she would do this! He/she is doing this every time!” And you start getting mad on yourself.

Ever happened to you?

Well, you are not alone! Many people experience that in specific occasions the heart beats the mind.

So the important question here is: How can you learn from your mistakes?

Here are some quick and easy tips:

Firstly ask yourself WHY it happened again. Almost always emerges a certain pattern like: “It is difficult for me to say ‘no’ to friends.”

Secondly: once you found out the reason, do not stay there but try to find out why it is difficult for you to say no to friends. Don’t stay with the symptoms but dig a little deeper to shed a little light on the true cause.

One might be that you don’t want to lose your friend. Another could be attached to a certain believe system: “I’m not a good person when I’m not helping out others.”

Thirdly: analyse those true causes and the needs that hide behind them. Put them to the test: Do those needs prevent you from making the right decisions? Do they lead you straight to the same mistakes, over and over again?

Finally, make a decision with a strong statement: No money for this friend anymore! Or something like that. Write the statement on a piece of paper and put it where you can see it every time you pass by (mirror, fridge, you name it). This will remind you every time of your decision.

And then – the most important thing EVER: put it into action!




ACTION STEPS:

1) Ask yourself: Why did I make the same mistake?

2) Once you found the reason, dig out the true cause that hides behind it.

3) Analyse the true cause: Does this lead you to the same mistake?

4) Make a decision with a strong statement NOT to do it again.

5) Write the statement down and put it where you see it.

6) TAKE ACTION.

Source:  Unleash Your Success

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The Gift of Serenity

Serenity can be described as the state of calmness and the sensation of peacefulness.  

Day to day life experience brings disruptions to peace of mind, taking many forms that can sometimes pile up, turning composure into overwhelm.

There are ways of coping with these moments in time.  

The one that always comes to my mind is the catchphrase "Take Me Away" generated by a marketing campaign for Calgon bath and beauty products.  One of their famous commercials, as described by Wikipedia . . . 

"A woman wearing a fluffy pink robe is seen in a chaotic home scenario. As tension rises, she utters the slogan "Calgon, take me away!" The next scene shows her relaxing in a bath in a quiet room."

Take a moment to see if you can relate to this commercial from the 80's . . .

For those who have never taken the advise of the commercial . . . try it sometime, it actually works.  There was a time in my life when a hectic day at work would lead me straight to the bathroom to prepare a bubble bath, light up the incense and many candles to set an aromatic, calm mood in the dark bathroom to soothe my stressed out soul the minute I got home.  It was a nice transition from the irritations of life to the serenity of a hot bubble bath.

Lunch break diversions from a hectic day you know is going to run into overtime . . . a quick trip to a park to enjoy nature and quiet time can work wonders, making the rest of the day much more tolerable.

Then there is my favorite prayer . . . The Serenity Prayer

"God, grant me the serenity to accept 

the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference."

Know when you need to give yourself the gift of serenity . . . 

even if just closing your eyes and momentarily

taking yourself away.

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Stop Me

An old love from the past had come back into my life.  It was an unresolved issue that haunted me most of my adult life.  He had joined the military and never came back . . . well, not until many years after I became a widow.  We had a second chance for a future together when he came back into my life through Classmates.com after all those years.  

To make a long story short . . . 
I walked away after determining that we were never meant to be.  

Although I was heartbroken, my wise decision brought the closure and resolution to one of the biggest heartaches of my youth.  At the time, I didn't see my decision as one of the greatest blessings of my life.

The irony of life and holding on to hope and faith . . .

One door closes and another opens! 

The Captain came into my life shortly after my decision to just walk away from what I determined was not my destiny and I wrote the following post.  There were no expectations, The Captain and I developed an awesome friendship that eventually turned into love and forever.

I'm grateful that no one tried to STOP ME!

This post was originally  published on 2/24/09

I have always held firmly to the thought
that each one of us can do a little to
bring some portion of misery to an end.

(Albert Schweitzer)

Isn't that the truth?
Don't we sometimes perpetuate our own misery?

I've caught myself midstream into a pity party and have finally been able to pick myself up in the midst of getting to that miserable place. It is an example of what we can learn to do in order to stop that vicious cycle of misery and finally bring it to an end.

Slaying the dragon . . .
it has been one of my biggest demons

In light of recent developments in my life that seems to be another vicious cycle . . . circumstances that make me deliriously happy and feeling as though I'm walking on clouds only to make my ascent from the heavenly clouds abrupt and painful. The disappointments keep happening.

Do I turn off that part of me that thoroughly enjoys expectations of happiness after such a long period of grief and misery? Every time I'm disappointed I go back and readdress expectations in my life. Next time I am going on about how happy I am . . . STOP ME . . . it is like the kiss of death.

Must I turn off that part of me that feels joy because romantic history continues to repeat itself and I always end up more unhappy than before the joy happened? Next time I am going on about feeling joy . . . STOP ME . . . it is like the kiss of death.

I'm learning to forget about great expectations . . . and to me, that is so very sad . . . it is part of the beauty and allure of the quest for love and romance . . . and so much a part of who I am.

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Thinking outside of the box

Thinking outside the box has become somewhat of a cliché, hasn’t it? I’ve heard it used often and have wondered where the term originated from and what the true meaning is. 

For as long as I remember, it has been a saying that I am rather fond of since I perceive myself as a creative thinker and can definitely relate to the saying. 

What does it mean?

It isn’t known who was actually the first person to use the term, but after some research, I’ve found an early example of the phrase:  Aviation Week & Space Technology, July 1975: "We must step back and see if the solutions to our problems lie outside the box."

According to Wikipedia, “The term is thought to derive from management consultants in the 1970's and 1980's challenging their clients to solve the "nine dots" puzzle, whose solution requires some lateral thinking.”

No wonder I think and analyze everything to death the way I do . . . I worked for a business management professor who was also a management consultant for over 20 years . . . and raised by a family who asked the question “what if” about everything.

It occurs to me that “the box” signifies traditional ways of thinking. However, like the term “normal” . . . who is the judge of what the definition is or how either is measured?

What is “outside of the box” for me, may be “normal” for another person . . . or the other way around. It all has to do with the perception of what conceptual constraints of creative thinking are . . . thinking “inside the box” and accepting the status quo.

To me, thinking outside the box is all about creative thinking and pondering a situation in a different way, like through a different set of eyes.  Since knowing The Captain, I realize he has influenced and is changing the way I think . . . the difference being positive vs. negative thinking whether it is creative thinking or not.  The major change being perception.

Seems to me that the way we think is a learned thing whether it is inside or outside of the box, which is why there are different perspectives for different people. Throwing emotions into the situation can make it a complicated mess!

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