Saturday, September 7, 2013

Inside out



There are grateful phases I go through lately that find me so happy I could burst, although I still haven't found my true purpose in life.  In these times, I give God all the glory for taking me through those bad times in my past . . . I had to go through them to arrive at where I am today.  They were stepping stones to my future.

The following post is from one of those bad times.  It occurs to me that this was my "normal" . . . a time of healing, acceptance of where I was in life, feeling "inside out" and lost in time.



This post was originally published on May 31, 2008


George Micheal ~ Jesus To A Child

It has been one of those nights where it is difficult to concentrate and work although I have a ton of stuff to do. After all this time I know better than to try to force my brains to think and be productive, so I allowed my mind to wander through my email box that is overflowing and do some inspirational reading.

Seems like I always find the right words to complete my thoughts and the emotions that I'm feeling at the right time. I'm feeling so down tonight. Disappointment has reared its ugly head and really bothered me, along with a family situation that really has no resolution. And it also could be I'm spending too much time behind the computer getting my online stuff ready before I make a commitment to another "real" job.

As time heads into the wee hours of the morning, treading on Vamparella territory, I realize that I have succeeded in going back to my old ways before I started working. Drifting in time with no schedule and no discipline . . . just lots of hours behind the computer.

My restless mind tormenting me won't let me settle down long enough to concentrate and focus on writing either. I'm ready to hibernate back to the cave and not come back out until the end of summer. People keep hurting me and I let them . . . I'm inside out.

I found this inspiration writing tonight which made me feel somewhat better . . .


Don't give up

When it hurts so bad, call on Him (God), take a deep breath, and let it out.

I know you're hurting and confused, and you just don't know what to do. You're walking around wondering why your life has been turned inside out. You're trying to figure out why you have to go through all of this hurt and pain. Some things will never be explained.

I know you trusted him and your sisterfriend to be there through the good and the bad. When all hell broke out, they were the last people to show you that they cared. That's why God said to put your trust in Him, not man.

The storm won't last forever. Trust me, I've been there before. All you have to do is call on Him (God) and ask Him to help you through it. He loves you, and unlike people, He will never leave or forsake you. You don't have to be ashamed of your past. God forgives and forgets.

Stop allowing the enemy to come into your mind and tell you all of the bad things you've done and said, and how no one cares if you are dead or alive. The devil is a liar!

God has a purpose and a plan for your life. You have to surrender your all to God, and ask Him to be the head of your life. Tell God you need Him to lead and guide you. Ask Him to remove anyone and anything that comes to hinder your walk with Him, and to give you the strength to endure whatever may come your way.


Don't you dare give up!
You have a purpose in life!!!

The key to my being normal again is finding my purpose in this life and it can't be a person. People keep disappointing me. The quality of my life is at zero. I have not been right since JR died and I lost my purpose . . . I can't let that happen to me again. Ironic how I found the right person for me who never disappointed me and God took him from me. God forgive me, I can't stop asking why . . .




I'm so blessed to have gone through that time so I can appreciate what my life is like today.  Heaven sent me another angel . . .



0 comments:

Visit our Etsy shop

Some of my web spaces



click to go to my personal website



My food blog MY NEW BLOG!!





Labels

1960's 1970's abuse abusive behavior acceptance accomplishment accomplishments acquaintances addiction adoration adversity affair affection afraid agoraphobia ambitions anger anticipation anxiety appreciation aspirations attitude attraction authenticity awareness bad behavior bad days bad times balance balance of life beginning behavior being alone Betsy blahs blessings bliss boredom buddy burnout Buster challenges chances change changes cheating cheech and chong chemistry choices christmas cigarettes comfort zone communication compassion confidence conflict confrontation confusion consequences consideration contemplation contentment control controversy coping Corinthians13 courage creativity crossroads cupid dating death deceit deception decision making defense mode denial depression desire desires destiny determination diet difficulties direction disagreements disappointment discipline dogs doubt drama queen dreams eBay economy ego emotional abuse emotional baggage emotional commitment emotional state emotions employment empowerment encouragement endurance escape expectations facing problems failure failures faith family fantasy fate Fear fears feelings flower children focus forbidden love forgiveness free love free will freedom friends friendship frustration fulfillment future glass half full/half empty goals God good times grateful gratitude grief growth guidance guilt habits happiness happy hard headed harmony hate healing health helpless hippie culture hippies holidays home honesty hope hopeless hopes hugs humiliation hurt identity imagination impatience improvement inner strength inner struggle innovation insecurity inspiration intimacy intuition irritation job job satisfaction John Lennon joy jr Kiki kindness laughter lessons lies life life balance life challenges life change life changes life circumstances life experiences life lessons life partner life retrospect life situations life struggles lifestyle loneliness long distance relationship loss of a pet loss of control lost love lovers lust managing anxiety Mark Nepo marriage medication mental health Mimi miracles mistakes moderation moments money motivation moving on natural disasters needs negative thoughts negativity new year Nolan normal nurturing obstacles office politics online dating online love online romance opinions opportunity optimism options overwhelm pace pain paranoia passion past path patience peace peace of mind perception perfection persistence personal growth personal power perspective Petey pets physical abuse pity party planning plans pleasure positive attitude positive thinking positivity possibilities prayer pride priorities problems procrastination progress prosperity purpose quality of life quit smoking reaction reactions reality reasons regrets rejection relationship relationships relax relaxation resentment resolutions respect responsibility rest restlessness retirement retreat revenge risk risks romance romantic love routine run away running away sacrifice sadness sanctuary satisfaction scared searching self-acceptance self-awareness self-confidence self-control self-defeating behavior self-esteem self-help self-improvement self-loathing self-love self-pity self-talk self-worth serendipity serenity setting goals settle sex sexual revolution simple abundance smoking society solitude sorrow soul soulmates state of mind strength stress strong struggle struggles stubborn subconscious feelings success suffering suicide support suppressed emotions survival surviving grief temper terrorism The Wedding Singer thinking thoughts time time travel tolerance toxic love toxic people toxic relationship tragedy transitions trigger day trouble true calling trust truth uncertainty unconditional love understanding unemployment unhappiness unresolved feelings valentines day value victims vision vulnerability wants war weakness wedding anniversary widow wisdom wishes work work achievements workaholic worries worry