I will . . .

 Sometimes it seems like I have waited a lonely lifetime to find my love.  I was prompted to write this post as I listened to the song "I Will" by Paul McCartney the other day.  It has been one of my favorite songs forever and has held so much meaning in my life.  I didn't realize how much until I listened to the song the last time . . . and it all came rushing to me.  The song was almost like a promise that through the worst time of my life, love would find me again.

Finding the person that was born to be your life partner is one of the most important things we do in our lifetime.  Looking back in time, it seems as though it happened so easily, yet on the other hand it feels as though the impatience inside of me was waiting to explode like a volcano.

Some people live a lifetime and never find true love.  I feel so fortunate that I have been blessed with finding "the one" twice in my life.  

I've written similar posts, but my message is so important and deserves repeating to give hope to those ready to give up on life in general.  

I have to be honest and say that I felt so cheated when I became a widow at a young age.  My life drastically changed from one day to the next.  A bitterness and anger regarding life in general came over me.  My fight for sanity continued day after day, leaving me to wonder at times whether life itself was worth it.  Deep down I knew it did . . . so I fought the demons of bad thoughts and feelings one moment at a time, clinging to my faith in God to save me from the hell that had become my life.  It went on way too many years . . . it felt normal.

Through it all, as I struggled to embrace my solitude, I knew there was someone out there who was meant for me.  The lyrics of the song "I Will" kept playing in my head, knowing that one day love would find me again.  I could feel him . . . I know it sounds crazy, but I did. I remember writing about it numerous times.

We eventually found each other . . . when neither of us was paying attention . . . so naturally.  There were so many signs that I could not possibly ignore.

And I was reminded of the song lyrics . . .

"And when at last I find you

Your song will fill the air

Sing it loud so I can hear you

Make it easy to be near you

For the things you do endear you to me

Oh, you know I will

I will"

Today I am so grateful for my faith in God to fight those demons and find reasons to continue living when I didn't want to . . . and for putting a song of love in my heart to keep me going.  Most of all, I am grateful for the wonderful man who crossed my path singing a familiar song very loudly.

I Will . . . Lyrics

Who knows how long I've loved you
You know I love you still
Will I wait a lonely lifetime
If you want me to, I will

For if I ever saw you
I didn't catch your name
But it never really mattered
I will always feel the same

Love you forever and forever
Love you with all my heart
Love you whenever we're together
Love you when we're apart

And when at last I find you
Your song will fill the air
Sing it loud so I can hear you
Make it easy to be near you
For the things you do endear you to me
Oh, you know I will
I will