I've been going through another grief journey that has knocked me down pretty hard. Losing a pet is an indescribable grief.
In order to make a real attempt of going through this loss better than the losses of two husbands, I have discovered and remember how different the feelings are when it is an innocent little creature who can't tell you they are sick. Our pets want to make us happy. Some of them take it so seriously that they can be so sick and close to death, but don't want to bother you with it. Or so it seems.
Groups I have joined to cope with pet grief have opened my eyes to this. The majority of members say that they had no idea their pet was so gravely ill and it was too late to help them survive. Their described heartache matches mine. Total devastation at the loss of their precious best friend who was always so loyal and loving.
Although I am trying to stay busy and keep my mind occupied, my little Kiki is always on my mind. I've gone through so much guilt for not picking up that she was so sick. Those groups have helped me through that guilt. There is something to be said about surrounding yourself with those who understand what you are going through since they have experienced the same journey. The journey that never ends.
"Grief is a strange journey.
Each time we embark upon it, it is as though we have never taken its roads before.
No, I have that wrong: each grief brings us through a familiar landscape carved into unrecognizable contours.
For we do not only lose another person; we lose the person we were with the one we lost."
Patricia Monaghan
