Happy Memorial Day!

It is one of those days when I am extra 

grateful  for our military and their families.

Although it is also a day we get together with our families, 

fire up the BBQ grills and enjoy a day off of work, take some

time to remember what the holiday is all about.

It is not about honoring war, it is honoring those who

made the ultimate sacrifice in service to our country.  

Remember those who died in those conflicts and wars

 and the families they left behind.

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The light at the end of the tunnel

There is nothing in your life that cannot be overcome;

whatever the situation or problem, there is always a solution.

The Daily Om


Every day we receive news of natural disasters and tragedies.

Cities and towns in the United States are facing their darkest hours in the aftermath of tornadoes and floods that devastated their neighborhoods, leaving grateful survivors homeless with their personal possessions scattered for miles, mingled with the possessions of their neighbors . . . just piles of debris.  Some are left with the feeling of being lost as they search for missing loved ones, others left to deal with the grim news of the death of a loved one and the resulting grief.  Others may have witnessed a loved one lose their struggle for life in the midst of the tragedy.

The tragedies and resulting devastation unfold before our eyes on the 24/7 news channels.  They parade victims in front of the cameras to describe their dilemma.  While the news of the tragedy is important for the news channels to cover, so is the solution.  I don't remember seeing any reports of those victims overcoming the obstacles, rebuilding their lives.  The only reports I have ever seen of this kind have been about the victims of Hurricane Katrina and the rebuilding of the New Orleans area.  Stories of life-changing tragedies that have been overcome show us that there is always a solution . . . these people do rebuild their lives.  I'd love to hear the stories.

Human beings in general have a survival instinct to overcome obstacles and tragedies with time, persistence, faith . . . and with a little help from friends and family.  In these times, the belief that nothing is impossible is the most important thing to remember.

There is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

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Positive influences

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed." 

Carl Gustav Jong

In our everyday life we are surrounded by a variety of people. Some of the people we deal with on a daily basis are a joy to be with, and their loving presence nurtures and encourages us. Others may have the opposite effect, draining us of our energy, making us feel tired and exhausted. Our well-being can be easily influenced by those around us, and if we can keep this in mind, we will have greater insights into the quality of our social interactions and their energetic effect on us.

Once we think more deeply about the people we interact with, it becomes easier for us to work toward filling our lives with people who help us cultivate healthy and positive relationships. Even though it might not always seem like we have much control over who we are with, we do. The power to step back from toxicity lies within us. All we have to do is take a few moments to reflect on how another person makes you feel. Assessing the people we spend the most time with allows us to see if they add something constructive to, or subtract from, our lives. Should a friend sap our strength, for example, we can simply set the intention to tell them how we feel or simply spend less time with them.

We will find that the moment we are honest with ourselves about our own feelings, the more candid we can be with others about how they make us feel. While this may involve some drastic changes to our social life it can bring about a personal transformation that will truly empower us, since ! the decision to live our truth will infuse our lives with greater happiness.

When we surround ourselves with positive people, we clear away the negativity that exists around us and create more room to welcome nurturing energy. Doing this not only enriches our lives but also envelopes us in a supportive and healing space that fosters greater growth, understanding, and love of ourselves as well as those we care about. 

Daily Om

Tommy Rosen's philosophy . . . "If you want to develop as a person, it is helpful to be around other people who carry the consciousness you want to move toward.  When you identify these people, hang around them and catch the goodness they are putting out so that you can be uplifted and in turn pass it on." 

Our surroundings can influence us either positively or negatively.  I know that when I watch too much of my favorite cable television news channel, it can bring on a terrible feeling of hopelessness, resulting in uncontrollable restlessness that brings me down further as time goes on.  Changing the channel or turning off the television completely and enjoying the outdoors can immediately change the feeling.  It is knowing when to turn it off that works for me and prevents that sinking feeling from further intensifying.

Waking up to a messy kitchen in the morning immediately brings me down . . . the solution is making sure the kitchen is picked up before going to bed.  Sometimes it can be the smallest of things that can influence us positively or negatively.

The good news is that we can
 choose our surroundings ~ 

choose those with positive influences!

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Get out of your own way!

"Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one's own sunshine."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

There have been way too many times in my life I've been my own worst enemy.

Negative thinking shadows me even though I make a conscious effort to think more positively.  Maybe it is in my genes or a learned thing from childhood.

Why do I expect to be disappointed all the time?  

So I won't be disappointed?

That doesn't make sense!!

Past experience contributes to the expectation of disappointment.

Unrealistic expectations are also a culprit, resulting in disappointment.

A childhood learned thing?

My dad never allowed me to feel achievement.  It happened all the time . . . before I'd reach a goal that he'd set, the bar would be raised.  It made me a perfectionist of sorts, expecting way too much from myself and others.

Seems like I've spent way too much of my life getting out of the shadows and into the sunshine.  Realizing it all is making it easier.  

Get to know yourself to realize why you react to life the way you do . . . it is the first step to getting out of your own way.

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Opportunity in the middle of difficulty

In the course of life, we are often taken through difficult life circumstances.  Sometimes it seems to be a roller coaster that never stops.

‎"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."

 Albert Einstein

The other day, I posted this quote on my Facebook page.  Some commented that finding opportunity in the midst of difficulty is hard.  My response was "I've seen so much difficulty in my life that I learned valuable lessons from . . . as a result I look for opportunity when confronted with difficulty."

There is another saying that I think about often . . . "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade."  Opportunity exists everywhere, you just have to keep an open mind and seek out the good from the difficulty.

When it comes to health issues . . . a serious issue can be a wake up call to change the way you conduct you life.  It could be the prelude to something even more serious.

There are warning signs everywhere . . . pay attention to them, they can be future life difficulties.  Use those signs as an opportunity to make the necessary changes in your life.

Have a beautiful day filled with peace, love and happiness :)

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Appreciation of the bumpy road

 Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. 

 (Groucho Marx)

Life is precious . . . it is short . . . 

every second counts and ticks down the ones that are left.  

When you realize how important every moment truly is, the quote from Groucho Marx makes so much sense.

Sometimes it takes a bumpy road to get to that place of understanding.  

I'm grateful for all the bumpy roads I have faced in my life, although many of those roads left me feeling scared like things would never be right in my life again.  But they were . . . it is what was meant to be.

Embrace the hardships of life, they can make us appreciate

everything good that follows.

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Love's Fire

Someday, after we have mastered the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love. Then for the second time in the history of the world, we will have discovered fire.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

He set the world aflame,

And laid me on the same;

A hundred tongues of fire

Lapped round my pyre.

And when the blazing tide

Engulfed me, and I sighed,

Upon my mouth in haste

His hand He placed.

Rumi

When I think of romantic love, I think of fire.  

Love is fire that takes on its own life as

 in an uncontrollable wildfire.

It is all-consuming . . . and isn't that wonderful?

The fire of love can make us move the proverbial mountain.

Awesome chemistry between two people that is as a wildfire

is also as gentle as a peaceful breeze.  

It is everything good that life has to offer.

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Who is in control?

"If you're always in a hurry, always trying to get ahead of the other guy, or someone else's performance is what motivates you, then that person is in control of you."

Wayne Dyer

Most of us have role models or those people we admire . . . some of us have even had the awesome experience of having a mentor.  However, there is a fine line between admiration and competition.

True happiness comes from being your authentic self . . . being true to yourself . . . just my opinion.  If you are too busy trying to achieve all that the guy next door has and you can't afford it or attain that level of success, you aren't truly living your life.  It is a set up for failure.  I'm not talking about just settling for whatever comes around . . . go after YOUR dreams, not someone else's dream or reality.

Why can't we just be happy with what we have been blessed with and do the best we can do . . . not worrying about what the other guy has or doesn't have?

Ambition for the right reasons keeps our true dreams and desires alive that will ultimately bring happiness resulting from achievement . . . however, misguided ambitions driven by mere competition can leave us feeling disappointed and empty if it is not a true desire.

One of life's lessons since becoming a widow that absolutely changed the philosophy of my life is to realize that what I do in my life should be done because it is a real desire of my heart, along with the opinion of other people not driving my decisions.  It is my life . . .

We will ultimately be judged by society and our peers no matter what we do . . . don't give them control over your heart's desires.

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An eye for an eye

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." 

Martin Luther King Jr.

I must admit that I am feeling some guilt for my delight at another human being's death, no matter how evil Osama Bin Laden was.  Of course he deserved to die . . . and yes, I am so proud of our awesome military forces.  It just makes me feel creepy to be so happy about death . . . it was a great day for America and the world in general.

When I started thinking about this, my thoughts went back to 9-11-01 and how outraged I was at the celebrations in the streets of some countries.  They were delighting in the death of innocents who were going on with their everyday lives . . . not knowing they were about to take their place in history.  

It made me ponder the philosophy of "an eye for an eye" in everyday life.  

In general, I walk away from controversy since I am generally a peaceful person.  However, back me into a corner and I will fight back like an alley cat with no remorse or second thoughts of regret.  

When it comes to world events . . . I am hawkish . . . the "eye for an eye" philosophy seems perfectly reasonable to me.  

Events like 9-11 are like poking a stick in a hornet's nest.  You don't poke it unless you expect to be poked back in return . . . it is nature's way.

I'm still feeling guilty over doing the "happy dance" with the crowds celebrating in the United States.  Having had a day or so of thinking about this, it reminds me of the song "ding dong the witch is dead . . ." and feeling a little creepy and have thought about the quote by Martin Luther King . . . still doing the happy dance.  I truly believe justice has been served, just as I believe in the death penalty for those who deserve it. 

Just had to think out loud since I am feeling a bit hypocritical at the moment.

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Time stood still

Feeling grateful towards someone or something in your

life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate

and value into your life. 

Christiane Northrup

We often experience life's bumps in the road and last week was one of those times for me.  

It is so difficult when someone you love has a health issue emerge that could have serious implications.  While I'm already grateful for all that I have been blessed with, I'm feeling extra grateful.  Good news was received as far as Diamond Lil's tests are concerned.  

Extreme relief would be an understatement.

As she underwent a surgical procedure last week, it felt like time stood still.  What was expected to be a short recovery time turned into hours with no idea of what was going on.  There was only one other time in my life that I experienced the sensation of everything going in slow motion. 

Her smiling face was a welcome sight when we received the call to go back to the recovery area.  I was never so grateful for her sparkling smile that released the helpless feeling that had consumed me.  Mommy smiles can be magical . . .

The remnant of grief from losing many friends and family members is the fear of more death.  Of course it is silly to think that life and death won't continue to happen, but confronting it is way out of the comfort zone and teeters on the edge of the panic zone.

I'm grateful for passing that bump in the road!


Have you ever felt that sensation of everything going in slow motion and time standing still?

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Happiness Never Forgets You

Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, 

never completely forget about it. 

Jacques Prévert 

A new blogging friend's post made me think about those times of grief, depression, anxiety and restlessness from way too many deaths of family and friends in a short period of time.  They were awful times when happiness was a distant memory, but something that was craved and prayed for. Life happens . . . we will all have to deal with grief at times in our lives. 

The focus of today's post is grief and the happiness and peace of mind it takes, sapping the energy out like the blood has been drained out of your body.  We all deal with it differently, but it sure can knock the wind out of even the strongest person.

This year will mark the ninth year of suddenly becoming a widow and I can say that I have finally moved on with my life and have found the happiness I was searching for.  I've learned how to be grateful for the beautiful life we shared, but it is not always easy.  Even now, so many years later, I experience those sad days when I miss the awesome friendship we shared.  

The usual trigger days are rough, like birthdays, anniversaries and holidays . . . the sadness of the loss creeps in, but as time goes on, happiness of my present life has shortened the sad time.  However, time does not heal, it merely allows us to cope more effectively.  At least that has been my experience.

The depression and anxiety that grief triggers is unlike anything else and so difficult to explain.  Unless you have gone through it, there is no way to understand the hell that the survivor feels trapped in.  Back in the day, I lost many friends who didn't care enough to understand what I was going through.  It felt as though I was a echo in a canyon . . . absolutely lost, not knowing where to turn . . . with a handful of friends and family who really understood.  

Depression itself holds a certain societal stigma, with outsiders thinking that the person going through it should "just get over it" . . . making the depressed person feel like even less of a person, like a freak of nature, not worthy of happiness and peace of mind.  It is a vicious cycle.  If you are one of those people . . . do the depressed person a favor . . . just don't say anything if you can't be a truly supportive, positive influence on them.  My grandmother had a saying about these type of people . . . they will kick a dead dog when he's down.

Based on my experience, there are a few things I'd like to add . . . get professional help if you are willing to accept the help.  It may sound crude, but rid yourself of those negative people who lack compassion for your situation in life . . . they will only make you feel like a freak . . . and you are not a freak, you are simply a human being going through a rough time in your life, having a difficult time coping.  

Love yourself . . . is so important to know that you are worthy of happiness again . . . give yourself permission to understand what is going on deep inside and analyze how to get yourself out of it.  Figure out what it is that will make you truly happy.  Journaling and writing about it helped me tremendously . . . I learned the questions to ask myself from my therapist, who essentially saved my life.

Having gone through all the stages and phases of grief, depression, anxiety, restlessness, anger and a judgmental society, I can honestly say that you can get through it and find happiness again.  It is attainable . . . really it is.  

Happiness may elude you for a season of time . . . but never lose hope that it will never return, it does.

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The Door to Satisfaction

"All the peace and happiness of the whole globe,

the peace and happiness of societies,

the peace and happiness of family,

the peace and happiness in the individual persons' life,

and the peace and happiness of even the animals and so forth,

all depends on having loving kindness toward each other.

When you cherish others, all your wishes are fulfilled

Living your life for others, cherishing them with loving kindness

and compassion is the door to happiness, the door to enlightenment."

~ Lama Zopa Rinpoche ~

The Door to Satisfaction

"The springs of life are all from within."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

One of the keys to happiness and peace is mutual respect. 

Everyone has their belief system which personally belongs to them, just as yours belongs to you.  Mutual respect commands compassion for others, their feelings and the understanding associated with tolerance of beliefs that are not our own.  The world is full of people with varying opinions whether it be religion, politics or how to deal with life in general.

The door to enlightenment leads to peace within through tolerance and understanding . . . along with the practice of mutual respect.

 Peace in the world is elusive as a butterfly . . . I doubt that I will see peace in the world in my lifetime and is beyond any one person's control.

Peace in your soul comes from within and in your power.

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Balance bad behavior

People who irritate us the most sometimes exhibit the same qualities we possess ourselves.  Perhaps it is the perfect opportunity for self-exploration and understanding ourselves on a deeper level in order to explore options of behavior modification and change those irritating traits.

However, we must be willing to change and become brutally honest with ourselves as it relates to bad behavior.

On the other hand, enhancing those positive behaviors we possess can influence another person to imitate the behavior . . . and it works the other way around.  Allow others in your life to influence you to be the best person you can be.

Checks and balances allow ourselves and those closest to us to continually improve ourselves and positively enhance our behavior modification awareness, ultimately improving those relationships through a willingness to change.

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