Contradictions in life

I must learn to love the fool in me,

the one who feels too much,

talks too much,

takes too many chances,

wins sometimes and loses often,

lacks self-control,

loves and hates,

hurts and gets hurt,

promises and breaks promises,

laughs and cries.

(Theodore Isaac Rubin)

Aren't we all a contradiction of ourselves
at different times of our lives?

Self-acceptance of who we are, no matter what . . .
because it is who we are, no matter what.

There will always be a time here and there when
we are "not ourselves" . . . for one reason or
another. It is human nature.

None of us are perfect!

The above quote says it all . . . we must love
ourselves even when we do or say stupid stuff.

Does it make it all go away by inflicting
self-hatred on ourselves?

Of course not!

It is ok to be true to yourself . . .

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Optimism and being open to possibilities

The Oxford English Dictionary defines optimism as having "hopefulness and confidence about the future or successful outcome of something; a tendency to take a favorable or hopeful view."

Being open to possibilities is when one expects the best possible outcome from any given situation. Why go into anything, even waking up in the morning contemplating on the newly born day, without the vision that this is gonna be the best day ever. An optimistic mindset can lead to that awesome day . . .

Even when I go into my defeatist mode, feeling beat up, fallen down and momentarily hopeless, I am getting to the point where I can get back to a positive attitude and being open to awesome possibilities that my dreams and visions take me to.

Walt Disney is my greatest hero . . . the ultimate dreamer. His "crazy" dream became a reality that was successful beyond his greatest expectations. I've heard the stories of how many times he "fell down" and got right back up . . .

I absolutely love the following quotes . . .

some from my greatest heroes . . .

they are my inspiration.


"Leaders need to be optimists. Their vision is beyond the present."

Rudy Giuliani


"Become a possibilitarian.
No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are,
raise your sights and see possibilities --
always see them, for they're always there."

Dr. Norman Vincent Peale


"One of the saddest lines in the world is,
'Oh come now - be realistic.'
The best parts of this world were not fashioned by
those who were realistic. They were fashioned by those
who dared to look hard at their wishes and
gave them horses to ride."

Richard Nelson Bolles


"The world would have you agree with its dismal dream
of limitation. But the light would have you soar
like the eagle of your sacred visions."

Alan Cohen


"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

Walt Disney


"God didn't have time to make a nobody, only a somebody.
I believe that each of us has God-given talents
within us waiting to be brought to fruition."

Mary Kay Ash


"I dreamed impossible dreams.
And the dreams turned out beyond anything
I could possibly imagine.
You know, from my point of view,
I'm the luckiest cat on the planet."

Hugh Hefner

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Transition and fear

“Cause you could spend your life
Lookin’ for your own reflection
Time could blur the lines
Between what’s real
And what’s projected
Had I known what I lost?
What I gained, what it’d cost
I’d still give what remains
To be myself again”

from the song
Be Myself Again
by Donna Summer

My emotions have been all over the place with that displaced feeling of not knowing where I belong in this world and looking in the mirror and not knowing who I am. It is one of those times in life when we momentarily take the liberty of losing ourselves in the midst of a bad situation.

Emotions play a big part of who we are and I am very good at masking my emotions to the point of not recognizing myself. Haven’t we all been here at one stage or another of our lives?

I held my emotions long enough to make rational decisions about my future and it all hit me . . . the stress of past months. I’ve been there before when keeping it together through one of life's awful circumstance and have allowed myself to fall apart after it was done. Sometimes the strength we possess is amazing.

Tears are a cleansing of the soul when an emotional surge is needed to express those things held inside too long. Now my strength has been renewed by emotions that were as temporary waves, ridden out through a safe harbor within.

Times of change and transition bring out all types of emotions. My boyfriend describes how I am feeling as being "conflicted." He's right . . . as I ponder my present life circumstance today, fear compounded with anger . . . the fear of change and fear of the coming days grip me at this moment. Fear of the unknown is what would best describe what most people going through a life transition experience.

When you face your fear, most of the time you will discover that it was not really such a big threat after all. We all need some form of deeply rooted, powerful motivation . . . it empowers us to overcome obstacles so we can live our dreams. (Les Brown)

We are called to be architects of the future, not its victims. (R. Buckminster Fuller)

Experience is all we have to learn and grow through. Change is currently a major part of that experience. If there were no change there would be no growth. If there is no growth there is only stagnation. (Athene Raefiel)

Psychology Today describes fear as "a vital response to physical and emotional danger—if we couldn't feel it, we couldn't protect ourselves from legitimate threats. But often we fear situations that are in no way life-or-death, and thus hang back for no good reason. Traumas or bad experiences can trigger a fear response within us that is hard to quell. Yet exposing ourselves to our personal demons is the best way to move past them."

Lyrics

Be Myself Again | Donna Summer

Let me introduce myself

I'm a woman that you've never seen

You might know me from somewhere else

As someone that I've never been

I gave everything to play the game

My soul fell apart at the seams

I fell down like a house of cards

When somebody pulled the queen

'Cause you could spend your life

Lookin for your own reflection

Time could blur the lines

Between what's real and what's projected

Had I known

What I lost

What I gained

What it'd cost

I'd still give what remains

To Be Myself Again

You must believe me when I say

Don't live someone else's design

Turn it around like a photograph

The writings been there all the time

Now you can have all these

Hopes and dreams

The ones I can't use anymore

I don't know what it is you lost

But I hope you got what you came for

'Cause you could spend your life

Looking for your own reflection

Time could blur the lines

Between what's real and what's projected

Had I known

What I lost

What I gained

What it'd cost

I'd still give what remains

To Be Myself Again

Sometimes I want to leave right now

Sometimes I want to cry out loud

I want to let it all hang out

But I don't want to let you down

Sometimes I want to just lay here

Sometimes I want to disappear

I want to show you all my fear

But I don't want to let you down

'Cause you could spend your life

Looking for your own reflection

Time could blur the lines

Between what's real and what's projected

Had I known

What I lost

What I gained

What it'd cost

I'd still give what remains

To Be Myself Again

To Be Myself Again

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Faith and challenging times

Coping with bad times, whether it be challenges in the workplace, a personal relationship or financial difficulties requires faith to get through it. Faith in God, faith in yourself, faith in other people . . . it is so important to keep your head straight in order to make rational decisions.
Some decisions take greater leaps of faith than others.
We only have one life . . . live it with faith and optimism that what will be, will be . . . que sera sera. No matter what your spiritual belief is, there is a higher power in control. My belief is that everything in life happens for a reason.
The following poem, Footprints in the Sand, is one of my favorite sagas when reaching deep within myself for the strength and faith needed in times of uncertainty.

One night I dreamed I was walking along
the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed that
during the low periods of my life, when I was
suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,

"You promised me Lord,

that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during the most
trying periods of my life there have only been
one set of footprints in the sand.

"Why, when I needed you most,

you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,

"The times when you have

seen only one set of footprints,

is when I carried you."

Mary Stevenson

Love this one . . . it is for the one who
has put footprints on my heart!

"Be the kind of person you would like to be with.
Some people come into our lives,
make footprints on our hearts and we are never the same.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges."

- Joseph F. Newton

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The Blame Game

All blame is a waste of time.

No matter how much fault you find with another,

and regardless of how much you blame him,

it will not change you.

The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off

you when you are looking for external reasons to

explain your unhappiness or frustration.

You may succeed in making another feel guilty

about something by blaming him, but you won't

succeed in changing whatever it is about you

that is making you unhappy.

- Dr. Wayne W. Dyer -

Life circumstances are frustrating at times and it is very easy to blame anything or anyone else. Having said that, external forces could initially be the root cause, however, as individuals, we can make changes to perpetuate the outcome that will ultimately make us happy.

Wayne Dyer's philosophies of life are awesome!

Expecting another person to make us happy when we are already unhappy is totally unfair to that other person. In the case of a new relationship, it is set up for failure before it begins.

In all the years I was single after becoming a widow, when I thought I was ready for companionship and a new relationship, the best advice I got was to love and accept myself first. Before delving into the concept, I took the advice negatively as the person not thinking I was worthy of love again.

Quite the contrary! Everyone is worthy of love. However, if we are not happy with who we are to begin with, entering into a new relationship can end up in a very frustrating experience.

It took me many years to get to know myself again, to know what I wanted out of the rest of my life and more importantly, what I wanted out of a new love relationship. Emotions can play tricks on the mind . . . however, depending on that other person to perpetuate your happiness and not finding it from within is not fair to your partner.

Love should be an enhancement
of each other's quality of life!

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A New Approach

Taking a Break from What You Are Doing

Sometimes we need to step back from what occupies our
minds and take a break much like touching the reset button.

We can get so wrapped up in our thoughts that we wind up going round in round in circles, finding it difficult to concentrate on things and, because we are so distracted, not really accomplishing much. There may be signals—mental, emotional, and physical—that tell us we need to slow down and relax. Since we are so involved in things that are external to us, however, we may easily overlook what is really going on inside of us. It is during these times that we need to step back from the things that occupy our minds and take time out to connect with our inner self, giving our minds, bodies, and spirits the time they need to reenergize and heal.

At first it may seem that by taking a break we may not be as productive as we would initially like. In reality, a healthy period of rest is something that gives us a real sense of the unlimited nature of our true potential. Spending a couple of minutes walking outside, doing a few yoga poses, meditating, or simply becoming attuned to the rising and falling of our breath enables us to let go of our worries. This act brings our focus back to the things that are truly essential for us, such as our sense of oneness with the universe and our inner peace and well-being. As we begin to get in touch with this part of ourselves, we will find that our usual everyday troubles and worries become less critical and that we not only have much more room in our lives to really reflect on the issues that mean the most to us, but we are also able bring to all the situations we encounter a much more positive and healthy outlook.

Giving ourselves respite from our daily concerns is like giving a gift to ourselves. By stepping away from the problems that seem to saturate our thoughts, we lessen the weight of our troubles and instead become more receptive to the wisdom and answers the universe has to offer us.

Source: Daily Om

One of the most difficult things for me is getting rid of emotional baggage. Sometimes I think my mind has played tricks on me and convinced me that this baggage is some kind of award to hold on to with great pride.

This article took me back to an episode of Seinfeld, which finds George disgusted at his life choices and he decides to take a different approach and do the opposite of what his intuition tells him to do.

Clearing the mind of worries and anxieties works for me at times since meditating on them just compounds the stress, making it impossible to think rationally from all the thoughts and "what if" scenarios. Ponderous thinking has to be shut down before it becomes a big ugly monster.

Music and nature hold healing properties for me in the context of chasing away the monster, but there is nothing like serious prayer and trusting God to get me back on track.

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My eyes have seen . . . contentment

Wikipedia defines it . . .

"Contentment is the experience of satisfaction
and being at ease in one's situation."

Since I started my grateful journal writing back in 1993 (when I was so very very grateful for being able to retire from a "real job" at a very young age), I have been through so many emotional ups and downs.

Even now, back in the "real job" world and not always loving it, I am content and comfortable in my new life. In the past I would have already run away. The difference is seeing the world & everything in it with "different eyes", and a new attitude of dealing with life circumstances head on.

It is all about living in the moment, finding joy and contentment in little things and when confronted with problems, look around . . . there are people out there whose life circumstances are extremely troubled.

The following post is from another blog that is now closed . . . I love to go back and see progress as it was happening.

Life as I see it now is a work in progress with incremental improvements, making sure to find peace, love, happiness, joy and contentment all along the way.

Simple pleasures are awesome!

To be blind is bad, but worse
is to have eyes and not see

Helen Keller

This post was originally
written March 23, 2009

Winter is definitely gone and the weather has been gorgeous. There is something about having the windows open that puts me in an awesome mood. After a rainy morning, the air is crisp and clean smelling . . . even being out in the rain was pleasant.

Diamond Lil and I spent the morning out running errands, stopping for coffee and lunch, and just enjoying spending time together. As we sat in the restaurant having lunch, I felt an overwhelming feeling of gratitude that my mom and I can also be such good friends. We are both at a good place in life . . . maybe not financially, but in other ways that matter more than money and things.

On our way to the restaurant, we passed a laundromat . . . it was raining and there was a lady struggling with several baskets of clothes to wash, trying to hurry and get into the laundromat. Seeing her struggle took me back to the days when I lived in an apartment and had to tote baskets of clothes up and down the stairs and walk down the street to the laundromat . . . or load the car up and head out to the bigger laundromat on the main street . . . and spend all that time just waiting for the clothes to finish. Seeing that lady with the baskets of clothes made me so grateful for my washer and dryer that have their own place in my very own laundry room . . . something I take for granted since it has been so long since I dealt with the laundromat.

I'm grateful that everything is back to normal in my life and the feeling of contentment is with me again. I was just thinking that I don't take these good feelings for granted anymore . . . they are fully enjoyed and appreciated.

Today I had one of my favorite treats :) guava turnover with cheese . . . me bad, but it was worth it.

All days should be filled with so much contentment and simple pleasures.

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