Frying Pan Moments

Doesn't the image and
 the phrase itself conjure up
 all kinds of thoughts in your head?

We've all had those times when we have had the

 urge to literally whack someone with a frying pan.

One of my new favorite blogs, Friko's World goes into an aspect of "frying pan moments," telling the story of an occasional house guest that does a certain thing that irritates her.

It wasn't really her treasured frying pan that she pampers carefully, never using detergent on it . . . and one of her guests carelessly uses it . . . "isn't it just a frying pan?" is what probably goes through his head.  She found herself fretting over future visits . . . no doubt thinking, "oh the poor frying pan will be defiled!!!"

Her therapist now asks the question, 

"any frying pan moments?" 

during their sessions.

Before I go any further with this post, I want to urge you to treat yourself to Friko's blog . . . she is an AWESOME writer!  Check out her story!

Her "frying pan moment" deals with resentment.

Don't we all have varying types of these moments?

In my comment to her post, I mentioned my "frying pan moments" that have nothing to do with resentment, anger, violence . . . nothing like that . . . it is entirely different.  It inspired me to write this post to delve into the concept of "frying pan moments" . . .

My moments deal with a strange

type of fear . . . and maybe grief?

Regular readers of my blog know that I am a widow who has moved on with another love after many years of being suddenly single.

Those years were spent in my house like a hermit with my stuff.  Much of that stuff never got moved . . . it was to stay as it was when my husband was still here on this earth with me.  It is how I wanted it . . . couldn't even think of getting rid of his clothes . . . taking them out of the drawers and closets into boxes felt like such a betrayal to him.

Even insignificant items that I didn't care about before took on new meaning.  ALMOST EVERYTHING that surrounded me was special stuff, representing my former life that was gone, never to return.  Maybe subconsciously I thought if it wasn't moved, he would miraculously return.  

Who knows what goes through our thoughts or the rationale of it when dealing with sudden death and grief . . . faced with aloneness without your life partner.

Fast forward a few years later . . . an awesome online relationship that started on Twitter turned into something more.  It wasn't until we discussed meeting that I started to worry about all of JR's stuff and my attachment to "the way things were" . . . could I seriously move on with someone else?

It was an issue that I seriously struggled with.

My frying pan moments with The Captain teeter on the edge of hilarious.  Thank God this man has an awesome sense of humor and compassion for the loyalty I hold for my former husband and the "stuff" associated with my former life.

For Friko, it was resentment . . . for me, it was a fear of change, it was a cringing of anything being broken, misplaced . . . you get the idea.  I often wonder about the other perspective of being on the other side of a frying pan moment.

My biggest frying pan moments come with organizing and redecorating the house to reflect our new life together.  

It is sometimes like touching raw nerves . . . the feelings are not angry, resentful or anything like that.  Very strange and abnormal is what they are . . . I must say that I realize it!  It gets easier by the day, although the improvements have taken very small incremental changes.  The Captain is an awesome guy!

On the subject of another type of these moments . . . in my former life when I was an executive assistant, I worked for a married man who was a notorious ladies man.  His wife had what I would call the perfect example of a frying pan moment . . . she would stand away from the front door and whack him over the head when the drunk so-and-so walked in the door after being out cavorting all night long.  

Yes, he was worthy of that treatment, although harsh . . . I often wondered how she managed to not actually kill or seriously hurt him.  You would think he would have learned, but he didn't and continued to get whacked when he misbehaved.  They eventually divorced years later!  Surprise, surprise . . .

How about your "frying pan moments"?

Care to share?

read more

In search a dream . . . another meaning of peace

It is about personal freedom . . . the kind that many of us take for granted.  There are civilizations that exist in this world where personal freedom is just a dream.

"We on this continent should never forget that men first crossed the Atlantic not to find soil for their ploughs but to secure liberty for their souls."  

~ Robert J. McCracken

As a grateful American, I admire what my ancestors went through to come to the "new country" . . . packing up all their personal belongings along with a dream of a better life for their family and future generations.  Freedom and opportunity . . . risking everything to set forth into the unknown.  How courageous.  I often wonder if I would go through that extreme for the sake of a dream.

The people of Egypt are weighing heavy on my heart and mind as they enter into the unknown, risking their lives for the dream of freedom and opportunity for themselves, their families and a better life for future generations.  Having many long-time online friends from Egypt, getting to know them through the years and hearing their stories has given me a personal connection to what is going on in their world at this time.  I worry about them and the whole situation makes me sad . . . and I understand their plight . . . they are doing what they have to do.

Peace may or may not come after the storm, but it is a risk they are willing to take.  We will all have taken chances during our lifetime in search of a dream, no matter how big or small.  My prayers are with them . . . and for a peaceful world that we may or may not see in our lifetime.  I pray that we do . . . we are all in God's hands.

The events of the past week have really had me thinking about these friends and what they must be going through at this time.  My fascination with Egypt started as a child when I first discovered the love of books and the library that opened up the world to me . . . and my interest was in the rich history, the artifacts.  It broke my heart when I heard that there was a fire at the Cairo Museum that would potentially destroy treasures of the past.

read more

The destructive behavior of the doom and gloom mentality

In my journey of peace, love and happiness through making incremental improvements in my life, my attention has been focused on negative thinking.  Although I've made great strides in moving toward thinking more positively, the negative thinking sometimes takes over.  This behavior is what I consider to be one of my biggest character flaws.

Do you pick out a single negative detail

and dwell  on it exclusively so that your

vision of all reality becomes darkened?

It happens to me . . . and it is a total sapper of peace, even though I can remain happy.  Everything in my life can be as perfect as it gets and one little thing that happens turns into "everything in my life is wrong" . . . the remnant of clinical depression and many disappointing years after becoming a widow.  

In my really bad times that have thankfully passed, I actually expected negative things to happen, even when there wasn't an inkling of disappointment on the horizon.  It is what I describe as the "doom and gloom mentality" where peace is impossible.

Just like anything else, realizing destructive behavior is the first step in making incremental improvements to conquer it.  The second step is recognizing it in its beginnings, learning how to turn it around and revert the situation to a positive one.

When I look back at my days heavily influenced by that mentality of doom and gloom and think of how I react to situations now, it is almost the equivalent of the difference between day and night.  Although it is easy for me to fall back into the trap, with every instance it becomes easier to turn my way of thinking around to one that brings me peace of mind, not doom and gloom.

Peace is a sunny reality

no matter what is going on in your life. 

read more

Vibrational harmony, patience . . . or lack of

Exercising patience is putting me to the test!

The "vibrational harmony with the all-creating force that intended me here" mentioned in the above quote is messing with me . . . but it is not all bad.

The expected storm came through yesterday, knocking out our internet service.  The internet withdrawals were pretty bad.  In my quest to be grateful for simple things every day, I am very grateful to have the internet working again.  It is awful to be in the middle of projects and not be able to get to them.  I was so grateful for the nice repair guy who came to get the internet running again.

In the meantime . . . I'm still backing up the files on my failing external hard drive and running out of space.  Then out of nowhere . . . my graphics files appeared again, the ones I thought were lost and gone forever . . . big time grateful for that!!

For the part about being patient . . . aside from having to wait for the nice repair guy all last night until tonight . . . I'm being very impatient about moving folders and files around all of my drive that takes so much time.  I want to go poof with my magic wand and have them all organized and safe in their new home.  All this computer maintenance has been ponderous!!

All in all, it is one of those things that was working fine, then not, resulting in major sapping of time, energy and my patience.  I'm so tired of trying to squeeze 500 MG in a fraction of hard drive space . . . tomorrow we are getting another external hard drive to save my sanity . . .

But the biggest thing is the awesome news that my graphics were not lost forever . . . I am so happy!!

Happy Wednesday!

  

read more

Grateful Days

I'm grateful for the beautiful warmish weather we had yesterday, although we are expecting bad storms as the day progresses. It is comfortable . . . and I'm so happy and content right at this moment in time . . . for many reasons.


Willie the Wonder Cat is still around, although he hasn't taken to staying confined inside. The cat can scream!! I already know when he wants out . . . so he wins. All in all, he has been a blessing since it has been so long since I've had a pet and he's a very affectionate cat . . . and a talker :) I'm grateful to have a little furry creature to love!


This past weekend was a blast! The Captain and I went to the Sicilian Festival at the Sons of Italy with Diamond Lil and Bob. Although my knees are still giving me a fit, we were able to dance all night. 


One of the cool things about going to these social events and living in the same place all my life is I get a chance to see people I haven't seen in years. It was really nice to run into cousins I haven't seen in a really long time. Good food, great music, awesome company . . . who could ask for more? I'm grateful that Diamond Lil, my mom, is also my best friend :)


I'm so grateful for being free from having to work a "real job" . . . although I do miss the awesome friends I made. It is awesome to leisurely work on getting the house organized, play with my blogs and website, experimenting with blog hops, discovering giveaways/contests and winning lots of random stuff. Today's mail brought the mineral makeup I won . . . I love it . . . this was expensive stuff that was totally free!!


Don't you know that there has to be something to irritate me . . . I'm still backing up files from my external drive. I lost most of my graphics, although I had backed up a couple of months ago. Still . . . the graphics were my creations that are gone forever. But . . . the good news is that I thought I had lost EVERYTHING on my external drive . . . I'm grateful that The Captain is more of a computer geek than I and got it working long enough to back up what is left on there. It is a very long process backing up my videos and music . . . I'm not even close to finished!


Life is awesome again . . . and I'm so grateful to be sharing my life with The Captain who has made my life complete.

read more

Living in Florida

Living in Florida! 

We have had unusually cold weather for our area, however, it is nothing like the brutal cold and snow the rest of the country is experiencing.  It does not snow and usually doesn't freeze, so we enjoy the outdoor life all year long.  When I start to get cranky about it being too cold, I am trying to be grateful that it isn't snowing.

A cold front that will bring us seasonal temps of 60's during the day was ushered in by a pretty strong storm thunderstorm complete with some lightning last night.  There is nothing like sleeping with the windows open to feel the breeze and hear the awesome sound of rain hitting the window awnings.  Very hypnotic!  I didn't want to get out of bed this morning, it was so pleasant since it was still raining.

After experiencing lots of damage to our plants, I am so grateful that we will be getting things ready this weekend to start our seeds and cuttings for spring.  One of my favorite things is making an awesome pasta sauce that is made entirely from what we grow in our garden.

I'm grateful to be feeling peace, love and happiness today :)


Have a wonderful weekend!

read more

The Drama Queen Syndrome

Are you a drama queen?

Or perhaps a drama king?

Maybe I'm overgeneralizing . . . as a seasoned drama queen will do . . . but I firmly believe that women don't corner the market on this syndrome.  

Guys . . . you know it . . . you can be just as dramatic as the most seasoned drama queen.

Are you guilty of taking a negative event to the outrageous proportion of a pattern of defeat that you just know will never end?  

Are you convinced that going on and on about it makes it all better?

It reminds me of an old saying that I have heard most of my life . . .

"make a mountain out of a mole hill"

I must admit to the title of Drama Queen . . . and yes, I'm well seasoned!  What can I say?  It is in my genes and ethnicity . . . I'm an italian with a bit of cuban thrown in . . . I was born with it . . . complete with the waving hands!

(The Captain is convinced that I would be unable to talk if my hands were tied . . . sometimes I know he is tempted!  Speaking of him . . . yes, he is a Drama King!)

At times it can be amusing, even comical, but taking it too far releases way too much negativity.  Life is too short for that!  Irritations at life situations should be taken seriously, but we can also laugh at the absurdity of it all rather than sap our energy on negativity.

 Neither may or may not change anything, but can ultimately make the way we handle it more pleasant. The alternative is similar to an irritating pack of little yappy barking dogs.

In my quest to make incremental improvements in my life, I am making a conscious effort to recognize the drama queen traits when the syndrome starts to rear it's ugly head and try to nip it in the bud while in the amusing stage.  

To mask the beginnings of something ugly about to happen, I am learning how to turn it into a comedy routine, quickly getting over the silly thing I was starting to get dramatic about.  It takes making a conscious effort to recognize it starting to happen.

My journey to peace, love and happiness has made me keenly aware of the "Drama Queen Syndrome" dangers . . . and my new-found awareness has made some potentially explosive situations comical, leading to smiles instead of frowns.

I wonder if there will be an "I told you so" type of
statement in the conversation when he wakes up!

So . . . come on, admit it . . . are you a drama queen . . . or king?

Is your partner a drama queen or king?

Both of you?

How do you handle it?

Inquiring minds want to know!

read more