The Turning Point

 

• “True abundance isn’t based on our net worth, 
• it’s based on our self-worth.” 
• Gabrielle Bernstein

After 9-11, the book "Simple Abundance" changed my life.  Since then, my quest for success and making more and more money changed to being grateful for what I have.  It stresses what is really important in life.

The realization to slow down, take a deep breath and enjoy the moment is lost in our society.  It seems like they wake up angry and run around like a chicken with its head cut off.  

My life has changed drastically since my younger days.  I was one of those people running around and moving so fast that I could not enjoy anything.  That can make you very angry at the world and everything that happens, no matter how good.

When I decided to drop out, stay home and become an internet retailer, the relief I felt was indescribable.  The feeling of peace within my soul was so much more important than the money.  JR and I were the happiest we had ever been.  That was so important since he passed away shortly after the lifestyle change.  For that I have been eternally grateful.  All the money in the world could not bring me to that place.

Life after The Captain passed away has been filled with guilt since so many things were left in an undone, bad place and stole my peace.  Forgotten were the lessons learned on 9-11 of treating every day as if it was the last.

It has been difficult for me to have a positive attitude and grateful life since I felt so undone to the soul of my being.  Having to put Kiki to sleep was the ultimate "nail in the coffin" to my life.

Today, I am back to the gratefulness as I finally realize that these things are all part of life, the good and the bad.  I believe it is all God's will and I should trust him.  Everything happens for a reason.  I'm so happy for the awesome memories of my past life that made me happy and even the sad ones.  

More importantly, they have

 taught me valuable life lessons.

My relationships with people in this world have solidified my love of being home alone and not feeling the judgment of others with whatever I am experiencing in my life.  Now I don't care what anyone thinks and that is finally true freedom. I am not lonely since I have a very content life.

Do what makes you happy no matter what anyone else thinks!

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Peace and contentment

 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

I've recently realized that trust and resulting faith brings peace and contentment.  

It is what I've been praying for.

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Hope and positivity

 

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

While I am still incredibly sad, my faith in God has intensified and the feelings of hope have brought me to a happier place even though nothing has changed.  It is a positive state of mind which results in hope.

The first anniversary of making the decision to put Kiki to sleep is a week away and it feels like time has stood still.  My heart breaks over and over again as the days pass.  My memories have gradually shifted to those that make me smile and I know that is a positive sign.  She always appears in my dreams so vividly and I wake up feeling like she has visited me.  They are always happy visits.  God has truly blessed me.  I know that those who have not experienced finding their soul dog think I am crazy.

I have faith and hope that I will be happy again.

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Every day is a new day

 

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

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Find The Happy Life

 

"You do not find the happy life.

You make it."

Thomas S. Monson

Determined to find contentment in the midst of grief and sadness, I asked myself the simple question . . . "what would make me happy?" . . . the graphic depicts what would make me happy at this time in my life.  

An outdoor sanctuary, a pleasant place to escape that is pleasing to my senses, to enjoy a beautiful Florida day and watch the birds and squirrels.  A place to be grateful for all that I have been blessed with.  Surround myself with the happiness that being in the middle of colorful flowers brings me.

While I realize that getting to that place will take lots of hard work, I think the work distraction alone is just what I need.  So, as the hot days of summer unwind, I shall embark on this new journey that I know will bring me peace and contentment.  I've done this before.  This time it could be the thing that works wonders for my physical health as well as the positive mental aspect of it all.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

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Passage of Time

 

When it comes to grief, the time of grief seems like you lost your loved one yesterday even though it has been some time.  It is as if the passage of time is non-existent, yet it has flown by so fast.  It really is a weird concept and feeling.

It could be that it is normal to relive the day of passing often, making it seem like yesterday.  Disorientation is a normal part of my life and I can't explain it.  

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Grateful through positivity

 

“When the heart grieves over what it has lost,

the spirit rejoices over what it has left.”  

Sufi Epigram

As I experience and heal from another grief journey, I try to be aware of how I am thinking since it makes a big difference in how I feel at the time.  It makes such a difference and the quote is a great example of how we can think about losing a loved one.

In my experience, I am consumed at what I've lost at first.  As time passes and the memories take over and the good times are what I think about, I am left with the awesome feeling of having had that loved one in my life at all with the good and the bad memories.  Usually, I concentrate on the good.

Many people I know think this way.  In fact, it is like they forget everything bad and think that they have turned a bad person into a saint in their mind.  Sometimes I wonder who they are talking about.  That way of thinking is how they cope with the loss.

First of all, I am so grateful to have experienced the love.  On the other hand, I try to be realistic about the relationship I had with them.  Sweeping bad memories under the rug can come back to haunt you.  It comes down to life balances.

The main thing is gratefulness.  It always brings a smile to my face.

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