I've been accepting the negative emotions today, facing them head on. I'm not trying to ignore the bad feelings, I acknowledge them and ask myself why. My responses go on a list so I can deal with them later.
It has been one of the best two weeks since The Captain went into the hospital last year. What a good feeling it has been to experience "normal" at times. Very positive progress. I'm also enjoying social media again. Facebook has become my happy place.
The intense feelings of grief started creeping up on me this morning and little by little has taken over tonight. An important trigger day is coming up tomorrow and another at the end of the month . . . both of my husbands were born in March. So that means another night of no sleep associated with trigger times.
It is a roller coaster that doesn't want to stop, but I am looking for the off button and I hope to find it very soon.
One thing I do every day is count my blessings and thank God. I'm grateful since my life is pretty good except for the grief roller coaster. Blessings are what I focus on and I feel so lucky. Maybe if I keep focusing on positivity, it won't be another night or a month of no sleep.
