The changes can be horrific from one day to the next, leaving the feeling of being on a roller coaster. They can also make you feel like you are actually losing your mind while knowing you are sane.
What really makes me feel crazy is the shift from surviving the grief to overwhelming sadness that rips you apart. Nobody said it is an easy process. The process itself can go back and forth, repeating itself over and over again. It ends up breaking my heart over and over again.
For me it is still so fresh, only 8 months of the torture and a couple more months if you count the hospital time. But I believe the greatest progress is making it through the first phase of acceptance. You don't have to like it, but the loss must be accepted in order to get past it and start healing. I've finally reached acceptance and feel the process of healing, no matter how much it fluctuates.
Regardless of the phase, the reality is memories are all that is left. And I cherish them.
