Grief is schizophrenic!
Many of you know that my first husband passed away over 20 years ago. As a reader of my blog you know that I am still grieving his loss to this day and having a difficult time with it. And even though I have been through the grief all these years, I have determined that it is totally different for me this time. So my notion of grief has changed. Now the two are mingled and sometimes throws me for a loopy time.
Today is one of those loopy times. I'm semi-paralyzed and have not done anything all day except sit here and try to think on how to get moving. It is approaching early evening and I have not had a thing to eat or have not had a cup of coffee. No energy, no motivation whatsoever! There are days I don't eat at all, I don't want it and I am passionate about food. Sometimes I can trick myself into gathering up some motivation and times like this there is no way. Today my definition of self is that I am out of control and can't stop the roller coaster!
I can tell you that writing about it helps tremendously. At times it gives me the opportunity to see a different perspective after I have written about it. Try it if you are having grief incidents that are sometimes unbearable.
This too shall pass and tomorrow is another day with another grief phase - hope it is a good one!
